MarielovesMark Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Hello everyone. I just want an opinion about my situation. Anything helps. I've been seeing a guy I met online for 4 months now. At first he came in so strong- wants a relationship, talking bout what he wants on our first date. I didn't really like him because he wasn't my type physically but I gave him a chance and eventually have grown to really like him, as he is very nice, a gentleman, and he's very smart. He picks me up 80% of the time when we go out on dates even if he lives an hour away despite me saying I will meet him halfway and he mostly plans the dates and takes initiative. I told him I want to take things slow and get to know each other before anything else and he agreed. We held hands and that's just about it. We never really talked about "us" again. 3 weeks ago, he told me he will have his parents come over from abroad who he hasn't seen for 2 years and they will go on trips and told me he'll be "missing" for a few weeks. Now I'm ok with that.. but.. he rarely contacts me. He really just called me once when I had my surgery to check up on me. Then nothing for a couple days. I would try to text him, and he replies after couple hours and just a text or 2 and no more. I see him online a lot on WhatsApp, clearly always on his phone... I'm so confused. Should I be worried or I'm just over reacting?? I honestly resorted to leaving my phone at home so I won't be tempted to always check if he's called... (TBH, I feel ridiculous writing this. I feel I have the answer but I just want validation I guess 😂 Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I told him I want to take things slow and get to know each other before anything else and he agreed. Sounds to me like he's respecting your wishes. If you want the pace to increase, then it's up to you (imo) to take the lead so that he knows where he stands. Link to comment
Krankor Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 He warned you he'd be MIA for a few weeks. If I were you I'd just try to relax until his parents go back home. If he doesn't make an effort to pick things back up then you'll have your answer, but I think your worries are premature. If you do pick back up and he makes a habit of this "going missing" thing you'll need to make a decision as to whether that works for you. I can see him wanting to give his focus to his parents for now but otherwise I don't think it would kill him to at least shoot you a message here and there, even if he's busy. Link to comment
MarielovesMark Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 Yes, it seems like it. I'm actually scared I drove him away and he might've thought I'm not interested. But the next time he'll actually speak to me, I will let him know I'm ready to take the next step. I just hope it's not too late... Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Yes, it seems like it. I'm actually scared I drove him away and he might've thought I'm not interested. But the next time he'll actually speak to me, I will let him know I'm ready to take the next step. I just hope it's not too late... You don't have to have sex to show him you are interested. Just let him know you ARE interested in him. Let him know you'll miss him when he's gone and look forward to seeing him again when he gets back etc etc. There are many ways to let someone know you are interested which doesn't include sex (if you don't want that right now). Link to comment
MarielovesMark Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 He warned you he'd be MIA for a few weeks. If I were you I'd just try to relax until his parents go back home. If he doesn't make an effort to pick things back up then you'll have your answer, but I think your worries are premature. If you do pick back up and he makes a habit of this "going missing" thing you'll need to make a decision as to whether that works for you. I can see him wanting to give his focus to his parents for now but otherwise I don't think it would kill him to at least shoot you a message here and there, even if he's busy. He had been MIA before but I knew it was because of his job. And it didn't bother me because I met his coworker from another state and told me bout how busy they were, and he's a VP for a big company so I understand the responsibility is high. I understand his priority right now is his parents, I just hope he takes the time to send a quick message because I'm just confused. I guess I will just have to be patient. Thank you for taking the time to respond Link to comment
MarielovesMark Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 You don't have to have sex to show him you are interested. Just let him know you ARE interested in him. Let him know you'll miss him when he's gone and look forward to seeing him again when he gets back etc etc. There are many ways to let someone know you are interested which doesn't include sex (if you don't want that right now). Oh no, not sex. If the time is right it will happen. I meant next step like us actually being "in a relationship", the "title". But yes, I'll definitely try to show him more how much I like him. Link to comment
Dahl Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 My two cents - I'd be cautious having any intense talks about this while he's focusing on the well-being of his parents. The disparity of these two demands (the circumstances, not the party's demands, to clarify) is so great, I'm not sure the context will serve you remotely well. Not judging or telling to or not to do anything, just wanted to bring that up for your consideration. Link to comment
MarielovesMark Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 My two cents - I'd be cautious having any intense talks about this while he's focusing on the well-being of his parents. The disparity of these two demands (the circumstances, not the party's demands, to clarify) is so great, I'm not sure the context will serve you remotely well. Not judging or telling to or not to do anything, just wanted to bring that up for your consideration. Noted. Thank you. I won't bother him for now, I will wait till he contacts me, and when his parents are gone. And I will try not to come across as demanding or anything negative when I speak to him about us Link to comment
Dahl Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I wish you the best of luck. For the record, I don't think that you would bother him nor do I think it is inherently negative to bring up your concerns, not at all. I just had the sense that you wanted to tread lightly and this is my best suggestion to that end. Link to comment
East4 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 From my experience with a guy who told me he was going on a cycling trip with colleagues and will go MIA, I later on discovered that he went to the trip with an ex, that they had the trip planned and paid in advance. He didn't want to lose the money. When I found out and confronted him, he said for him it was natural to overlap relationships. Actually this has happened twice to me. Initial stages of dating are tricky, you have to keep your eyes open for these possibilities. If he has the time to be on WhatsApp, why isn't he in contact with you? I wouldn't be surprised if the "parents" from his country are actually a girl from his country that they had arranged a trip prior. Link to comment
MarielovesMark Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 From my experience with a guy who told me he was going on a cycling trip with colleagues and will go MIA, I later on discovered that he went to the trip with an ex, that they had the trip planned and paid in advance. He didn't want to lose the money. When I found out and confronted him, he said for him it was natural to overlap relationships. Actually this has happened twice to me. Initial stages of dating are tricky, you have to keep your eyes open for these possibilities. If he has the time to be on WhatsApp, why isn't he in contact with you? I wouldn't be surprised if the "parents" from his country are actually a girl from his country that they had arranged a trip prior. This is what scares me. To be honest, that trip you're talking about is happening to me. I have a trip to London to visit my now ex next month which I planned prior to dating this man now. Lol. Though now I won't be meeting that ex anymore but still going because I don't want to waste the trip. And yes, WhatsApp is killing me. The more I see him online and hardly contacts me, the more I'm bothered. I'm really just trying to relax now (not succeeding so far). Keeping myself busy but he's all I think about. I'm practicing what I'm going to tell him the next time we speak so I won't come across naggy. Aaahhh, dating is hard... Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Unfortunately it sounds like you are not ready to be out dating if this is happening 6756841] I have a trip to London to visit my now ex next month which I planned prior to dating this man now. Lol. Link to comment
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