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About East4

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  1. It is normal to have different opinions, this is why it is a forum 🙂. Yes, technically OP's BF is an uncle, but he has raised his niece and she perceives him as a father figure: This is why I suggested that there is step-mom<->stepdaughter<->dad dynamics at play here. I agree with the others that sleeping in one bed, flashing naked butt, etc is certainly inappropriate. The difference is that I think that molestation, as several posters suggested, is too far fetched. It doesn't have to be so morbid. Those of you who really think that abusive behavior is the
  2. Actually this is an idea. Atlguy, would you tell your fiancée that you have decided to move to Ukraine and let her help you settle there, to get to know her culture. And that she will have to help you with residence permit. See, if her interest in you changes, once living in the US would not be an option for her. If true what she says that she is only with you out of love, then she would embrace to have you living in Ukraine.
  3. If the niece has been risen by the OP's BF and sees him as a father figure, then with the arrival of OP as a girlfriend, the child probably feels like the girlfriend is trying to steal her "father" from her. This is the dynamic that develops in blended families and puts the step-moms in a very tricky position, especially when the boyfriend's child is a daughter. Actually what happens is that two women: the step mom (girlfriend) and the "daughter"(in this case the niece) get to compete for the attention of the man. So, the whole trio (step-daughter, step-mom and the husband/boyfriend) enter a v
  4. OP, indeed you seem to be a classical people pleaser and acting against your own well being. The world will not crumble if you utter the word "no, I cannot do this, I am busy/tired." You should not expect people, especially men to stop taking from you as long as you are giving willingly. Since men are in general more comfortable to say "no", they think that if a woman does not say "no", she is ok with giving more and more, and they will just take. If you want your needs to be considered by a man, you have to voice them. Do not expect that others will read your mind, or that they will intr
  5. Atlguy, is your fiancée Russian? It is in the Russian culture that women expect to be fully financially supported by men, including their children from previous marriages/relationship. This is a big difference in comparison to western mentality and it is not a thing of the past, pretty much expected by the young Russian women too: https://youtu.be/NWHedf01JEQ
  6. Sundara, he is taking financial advantage of you. You are his sugar daddy.
  7. If the relationship stresses you to the extent of hair loss and blood pressure increase, you must be under a lot of stress. No relationship is worth the harm to your health. Gaslighting, blame-shifting and always wanting to be right in arguments, is emotional and psychological abuse, and these habits do not change easily. It may take years of therapy and he will be sliding back in his old habits, this is for sure. I think he will "behave" for a few weeks, will do some of things you wanted him to do , and then when you get to feel comfortable and happy, he will return back to his old ways,
  8. What you did was because you were understanding of his unemployment situation, your intentions were good. But he took your kindness as a given and got to expect it. If there is somebody to apologies this is him. Just let him be and next time do not be so quick to cough up for men, and most of all do not tip them for their services 😉 I had a male friend, he is known for his stinginess, especially with women, he is always afraid that women will spend away his money. And this affects his dating life. But I enjoy playing board games with him, he is a smart man (chess, backgammon, yatzee). On
  9. Ktakanawa, you did very well with the gold digger meme, he was absolutely asking for it. His obnoxious and arrogant demands to be paid were totally out of line. So, you gave him a good reply. He pouts because his ego is hurt, let him pout. After a few weeks, or a month if you do not contact him, he will be back with another invite, but this time do not offer to pay anything and make it clear that food is on him. He has profited enough from you.
  10. Katie, your thinking shouldn't be revolving around your boyfriend, he is a gone man. There is a little human being's life that has been decided now with only two days to go. I think you should be thinking about this much bigger question, not about some selfish man. At 35 and risk of complications of the abortion, it may well be that this is your last chance of having a second child. Are you firmly decided that you do not want the baby? Your initial reaction of joy at finding out about the pregnancy shows that at least at some level you want that baby. The only thing that actually matters
  11. No, no I am not diminishing, as I was not aware that you completed your degree. I'd say, stay the course, the end of COVID is in sight, the roll-out of vaccination is in full swing in the UK. Just be patient, and focus on finding a job and regain your independence. If you can afford to move out from the apartment and co-parent with your husband while staying in the UK, this would be grand. And also better for the child, because it will have both parents. I think your husband is just burnt by all the responsibilities he had to shoulder very early in your relationship. So, giving him
  12. LotusBlack, if my memory does not fail me, I remember your posts from the old site. You were the one who dreamed to become an Egyptologist in some very rare subject like "interpretation of artefacts and mapping ancient Egyptian believes". Some discipline that you said had no practical implementation and only very rich people who do not count to find work with such a degree, took interest in it. You had to move heaven and earth to find ways to save up money and get all the visas and permits to study in Cambridge. Because Egyptology is not exactly mainstream in Australia. Now you are one step aw
  13. I am very sorry that you have been treated this way by your boyfriend and his family. His sister is out of line, but there are two accomplices: your boyfriend for tolerating and complying with her dictating his life, and well...you, because you accept to be treated this way, so basically you comply with her demands too. There are family dynamics that you cannot change, and your boyfriend seems to be comfortable with it. He expects you to accept unacceptable treatment. And you do, but you do not seem happy and you look a bit confused, not being able to discern right from wrong. The short a
  14. At least there are no children involved in this mess, imagine if there were kids and they were in the middle of a family raw, followed by their mom and grandparents leaving the home. Were there similar incident in the 6 years preceding the marriage? If yes, why did you two marry, if the couple's life was volatile? Chris, you seem to me as a sensitive man, but you should not let your sensitivities leaving you at your estranges spouse's beck and call. It seems that your actions are just a reflection of what she does/say. Perhaps it would be beneficial for you to take some emotional dis
  15. Well, we are at a point where I have been verbally abused by the poster VeraBraun and pretty much ganged up against by other posters. I see no further use to participate in this discussion. As I said, I respect everyone who earns their living with honest work, regardless of their nationality. I also respectfully explained that at the moment the EU is under significant stress from migrants and COVID, and simply cannot take more people who for one or another reason intend to live in the EU, but will not be able to work due to lack of work permit and citizenship. Cheers
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