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East4

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  1. Look, if you have unhealed trust issues from a past relationship, they will always bleed into your current relationship. So, based on the additional information, we can establish that it is not the concept of marriage that you are against/do not understand, but it is your past hurt that drives your behavior. Basically your girlfriend is paying the dues of your past unfortune. This is not fair to her. Perhaps you could explore your fears of commitment with a professional before you take the leap to either cement your commitment to your girlfriend the proper way, or you better let her go, because you are NOT all in in this relationship. cheers
  2. This is your answer right there in your own words. Marriage is the ultimate commitment and devotion to a partner, even when things do go wrong (which inevitably happens in the life of a couple). From your statement above in bold font, it looks like you are one foot out the door and you will bolt as soon as the relationship deteriorated. The overall feeling, reading through your post, is that yours is a relationship of convenience, rather than one based on the conviction that your girlfriend is the one for you, the person that you trust to be in your corner, whatever life may throw at you. Looks like you leverage her financial power, but at the same time your primary concern remains your own protection for when " if anything was to go wrong in the relationship." Marriage is when one does know that hardship is in store at some moment in the future, and that the person one has chosen is the best person you want to face that hardship with. Two individuals whose sole concern is their own self-preservation when hardship does knock on the door: this is not marriage, even if you might have bought 10 houses together and shared bed for 20 years. I hope this clarifies
  3. This guy has been acting weird all along, this is not the first time. I remember your previous thread, where you said he had been expecting you to do all the chasing, organising dates, and inviting him. Then he threw a tantrum and stormed out of your house when he showed up unannounced (!) and was upset that you had a friend over to your house. You started this current thread that you have worked things out with him. Obviously nothing has been worked out and he continues to disrespect you. Nothing has changed. You cannot "work out" deep seeded selfish behaviors and immaturity in a 50-something old man. So, I'd suggest you quit playing the victim and please take responsibility that you made a conscious choice to keep engaging with a man who all along has been sprinkling red flags like a fountain left, right and center. I'd suggest you quit all contact with this unhealthy guy, and fill in your covid passenger form for yourself only and you go to Jamaica alone and have a blast there. Do not be such a doormat, please. Your happiness does not require a man at all cost.
  4. Thanks for clarifying, Meg. Given the work invested in the house project, I see how your husband might feel slighted. Joint projects sometimes cause frictions between family members, in particular when you have a person with a sharp tongue and another with a sensitive ego. It is not easy for the ones caught in the middle.
  5. There was a concrete question where I've read the fact that I was commenting on, so I clarified. I also think that in order to give advice, the description of the situation merits a careful reading, else the advice would be off the mark.
  6. Reading the above grumpy husband's statement (which I find incredibly rude), I am wondering if "taking your mother out of the picture" has something to do with the sense of entitlement hubby has developed for his MIL's house...To me this "take your mother out of the picture" sounds like he cannot wait for the old lady to die, so that he can get her house for himself. There is no wonder that the old lady has made a remark that Meg and her husband do not have to live in her house so often. It is unfair for Meg's mom to feel like a guest in her own house when she visits Greece.
  7. @ Dias, Meg said it herself in her posts from Thursday 4:04 PM, that her mom's house is a better house than they can afford with the grumpy Greek husband.
  8. Looking after a house costs peanuts compared to a monthly rent of a nice house in Greece. I talk from experience. I have a house in my country of origin (neighboring country to Greece). When I have no tenants, I pay 20E to a neighbor to just pass by twice per month to water the plants. And some 100E per year to maintain the garden. While when I rent out the house, it gets me 700E/month. The difference is incomparable. I guess it started as "looking after the house" and it gradually grew into Meg and her husband actually living rent-free in a house, under the pretense that they are taking care of it. An empty house does not require hard labor every day to be looked after.
  9. So, I take it that, because mom's house is better than their, Meg and her husband actually live in her mom's house most of the time. Now the old lady feels uncomfortable to be in her own house when she visits, because of her grumpy son-in law. It is better for everyone if he clears the premises when the owner, Meg's mom is in Greece in her own house. And that Meg stays with her mom, this way also giving space to her husband to pout in peace. Meg's mom already expressed her dislike that Meg and her husband dwell in her house all the time she is not there. The mom has been quite generous to miss rental profits by letting Meg and her pouting husband live on her property rent free. At least for that alone she deserves basic civility.
  10. Your husband resents your mother, but he seems to forget that you both live in her house rent free. I think at least for that, he could be civil with her on the odd occasion she attends a family function. It would not be a good idea to hide from your mother that there will be a birthday party. She will find out later and be hurt that you hid it from her. I'd suggest you go to the party with your mother.
  11. There was a clear communication that the ticket should be paid. Tiny's clear communication does not seem like a sign of desperation. It is on the guy he did not stand by his promise to pay the ticket.
  12. it came up in a thread and I remembered it. I know that lost is also an aqua. And you do show typical characteristics of aqua person: open minded, with humanitarian inclination (your job as social worker), accepting of people without judging, the addiction too is typical unfortunately. So, I know that you value friendships, which is the hallmark of Aqua people. I know that aqua people do prefer to take the high road, but in this case, the way your "friend" is treating you is outrageous. A tremendous shame.
  13. what matters is what YOU want. Quit looking at things from his perspective. Do you want your money back? Do you want some self-respect back? Can you take legal action without an attorney, so no further expenditure for you? If the answer is to all three is yes, then go for it. Otherwise this incident will chisel off from your thrust in friends and make you a little more bitter and distrustful in friendship. I know that for Aquarius people friendship is of paramount importance, even more important than romance. So, if you let it slide, there is a bit more to lose than just 160$...
  14. Well, then you get your money back... and some respect too.
  15. well, if you let him off the hook, he will know that you accept to being duped. Not to mention that he will do it to other women too. If you show some teeth, and you certainly have all chances to win in small claims since you have the messages, then he will know that you are not an idiot. And he will be very careful to play these type of games with you or any other women. Conmen count exactly on this: that women are too indecisive and weak to take action. Show him he is wrong.
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