SunshineLove82 Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 I have been talking to this really nice gentleman thru Skype and FaceTime or WhatsApp every single day. We have a lot in common and the same age. However he is in a whole other country than I am. I have never ever believed in long distance relationships but the way that we feel about each other I'm willing to give it a shot? I have meet his mom his sisters and his daughter all thru Skype and they were all very nice. We plan to meet in person with me flying all the way up there and I'm nervous only because I'm scared of flying. The lAws where he's at makes it so difficult for him to even come to the US it's crazy. So he's helping me out with the flight my room and food is this reasonable or just a fairy tale? My family thinks that I'm crazy for getting a passport and trAveling but I'm grown and all I have received is nothing but heartache and pain?! What's wrong with trying something new? Link to comment
mike7788 Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 I'd say doing something like this isn't out of the question. But saying that there's things you must consider. Safety. Do all the research you possibly can with the country, it's laws, and the person you're travelling to meet. There are many crazy people in the world so make sure. Make sure before doing anything to spontaneous, I would continue to talk and see if the long-distance fling fizzles with a little bit of time. The worst thing you want is to travel out there, return home, and then it doesn't work out. Waste of time and money. Link to comment
Dahl Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 Hello, Sunshine and welcome to the forum. Presuming you are beyond a reasonable and legal age of majority / consent - My personal opinion, which is all anyone can offer you, so I am not sure why I qualified that.. Crazy in love or legit?.. Sounds like you are going to find out! I wish you the best of luck. In terms of your travels, nope, I do not rate this as crazy. You seem intelligent, educated, sensible, so why not? It is not as though you are jetting off in the general direction of a disembodied voice from the dark side of the interwebs. If it does not work out the way you hope, that will be a shame, but aside from geography, I cannot see much difference between you pursuing this and you going to the next county line over to meet someone you matched up with on a mobile app. You hardly strike me as some helpless, hapless, lean-witted victim-waiting-to-happen. I get the impression that you do fine sorting things out for yourself. This is not to knock your family and friends and their concern a/o qualms about your choice. They love you, they like you, they are protective as per the job descriptions of good family and friends. But if your instincts are reading green lights, here, my vote is follow them. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck. I hope you will keep the forum updated. Bon voyage! Link to comment
Matt3939 Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 I'm not sure the ages or countries involved. I only did the LDR once. It was fine at that time. This is what I'd say. Don't go someplace where you dont have an exit strategy. Not saying anything bad could happen but that's how I'd feel comfortable. Specially the first encounter. Have a return flight. Don't stay to long it might go great. What's the worst that happens you are sad to leave. That's a lot better then being stuck for to long. Have enough $$$ for a hotel if needed. I'd also have access to transportation. If it's in a city taxis if not rental car. I'm guessing language isn't a problem where you are going. Make sure people you trust know your plans stay in touch with them. I didn't do that all those years back. I'd definitely do it now. Good luck Link to comment
abitbroken Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 Why is he looking for a woman outside his country? Ask yourself that. Honestly, I wouldn't fall in love quickly. What are you hoping to gain from this? Meeting for coffee? a sex encounter (i hope not) And does he have any connection to your country? If I were your parent, I would be concerned about you accepting a plane ticket from a near stranger, and being put up in a hotel that he chooses. If you are going to a major city like London or Toronto, I would consider choosing your OWN accommodations at a hotel that you choose AND possibly traveling with a friend who is going to sightsee for the first "meet" - which should not be at his home, but in a public place. Even if he has a daughter and parents - better safe than sorry! Link to comment
SunshineLove82 Posted February 18, 2017 Author Share Posted February 18, 2017 I'd say doing something like this isn't out of the question. But saying that there's things you must consider. Safety. Do all the research you possibly can with the country, it's laws, and the person you're travelling to meet. There are many crazy people in the world so make sure. Make sure before doing anything to spontaneous, I would continue to talk and see if the long-distance fling fizzles with a little bit of time. The worst thing you want is to travel out there, return home, and then it doesn't work out. Waste of time and money. I fully agree with you and thank you so much for that. There is many crazy people in this world as I unfortunately married one a few years ago lol. I am happily divorced now but he is as from my very own country and very crazy and still waiting is which is no longer my problem thank goodness. You're absolutely correct as we both is taking things slowly and just continuing to talk and Skype every single day. Link to comment
SunshineLove82 Posted February 18, 2017 Author Share Posted February 18, 2017 @ Dahl hello as well & thank you so much!! Yes I'm a grown woman and I as well don't think that it's crazy. Maybe a bit spontaneous but it's no different than dating in my own country as I fully agree with you. Yes my instincts are to continue to take this slowly as that's what we are doing now Thank you so much and yes I will keep you all updated. Link to comment
SunshineLove82 Posted February 18, 2017 Author Share Posted February 18, 2017 @ Matt thank you so much for your advice as I do appreciate it. We are both 34 years of age. He's in the Dominican Republic and I'm from the US. I agree with you as I'm only staying a short while and take it from there. Yes I would have a return flight. Also I do plan on bringing extra money just as you stated in case which I hope 🤞 nothing like that would happen but I rather be safe than sorry. Thank you so much Link to comment
SunshineLove82 Posted February 18, 2017 Author Share Posted February 18, 2017 @ abitbroken he or I was not persay looking for one another. I stepped out of my comfort zone after my divorce and the same with him after his divorce and we just started mutually conversating every since then. I'm hoping to gain a great friendship and if it leads to me then taking the next steps to ensure everything is done legally and the right way with him coming to the US. They have a lot of Americans that come their thru their ministry and yes it will be in a public place. I do agree with you as my safety means more to me than anything. However i married a crazy person in my own country unfortunately so I'm in need of a positive change. Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 where online did you meet him and how? Link to comment
SherrySher Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 The one big obstacle that you should realistically consider is if you do get on well...then what? He can't move to the US and it would take a lot of paper work and money and you abandoning all your friends and family for him...you do realise this, right? Link to comment
SunshineLove82 Posted February 18, 2017 Author Share Posted February 18, 2017 where online did you meet him and how? On the App called MeetMe. It is a very good app as I'm friends with a lot of cool people from on there. Link to comment
SunshineLove82 Posted February 18, 2017 Author Share Posted February 18, 2017 The one big obstacle that you should realistically consider is if you do get on well...then what? He can't move to the US and it would take a lot of paper work and money and you abandoning all your friends and family for him...you do realise this, right? We have already discussed this as realistically I have already contacted an immigration attorney just for future reference in case it was to lead to something serious. I wouldn't go into something not researching my options. The attorney has a flat fee that is reasonable and would handle the paperwork and Visa stuff himself. He would be willing to move down here if and when that step comes and then we would travel to visit his family when we could. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 Sounds like he's looking for a US citizen too fall in love with and marry. Enjoy to your vacation. Link to comment
SunshineLove82 Posted February 18, 2017 Author Share Posted February 18, 2017 Sounds like he's looking for a US citizen too fall in love with and marry. Enjoy to your vacation. That occurred to me until he made it clear that he honestly had no intentions on coming to the US and never would illegally like some people. When he kept telling me that I knew that I wouldn't ever move up there etc but only to visit so then we started just discussing future plans when it came to that. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 Did you meet him on a dating site? Why long distance with someone in the Dominican Republic? What connection do you feel there? Are you looking for an expense paid vacation to a warm destination? Is there a reason he can't get a visiting visa for the US (criminal background, etc.?) The "laws are not insane" to visit the US from the DR. Something seems off, no? Why not get a passport anyway and go to a nice vacation resort with a friend?The lAws where he's at makes it so difficult for him to even come to the US it's crazy Do your homework before you go.: [url=" Link to comment
SunshineLove82 Posted February 18, 2017 Author Share Posted February 18, 2017 Did you meet him on a dating site? Why long distance with someone in the Dominican Republic? What connection do you feel there? Are you looking for an expense paid vacation to a warm destination? Is there a reason he can't get a visiting visa for the US (criminal background, etc.?) The "laws are not insane" to visit the US from the DR. Something seems off, no? Why not get a passport anyway and go to a nice vacation resort with a friend? Do your homework before you go.: [url=" Thank you for sharing that as he also sent that to me as well. They have to have a work visa with a contract to easily come here or be granted a tourist visa which they will likely get better approved if they was married so they know that he would indeed come back there and not stay illegally like so many others have. I had no idea that he was so far away as when we connected I never took anyone seriously on there anyway but he was quite different. Not looking for anything other than a genuine friendship and a great time spending time with him and his family and if something more develops then that's great also. It is way easier for us US citizens to travel up there versus them being able to come down here with the immigration laws and whoever voted for Trump to travel as they think that everyone who comes here will stay illegally and that's not the case. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 What!? He's lying, that's nonsense. Run. There are way too many red flags here already. Book a nice trip with friends in Cancun or Florida or the Bahamas. Why can he afford to give you an all expense paid trip but he can get his heinie to an office to get a tourist visa? No you don't have to be married to a US citizen to get a tourist visa. Is there a huge language barrier or is he uneducated? or be granted a tourist visa which they will likely get better approved if they was married Link to comment
SunshineLove82 Posted February 18, 2017 Author Share Posted February 18, 2017 What!? He's lying, that's nonsense. Run. There are way too many red flags here already. Book a nice trip with friends in Cancun or Florida or the Bahamas. Why can he afford to give you an all expense paid trip but he can get his heinie to an office to get a tourist visa? No you don't have to be married to a US citizen to get a tourist visa. Is there a huge language barrier or is he uneducated? ] Link to comment
SunshineLove82 Posted February 18, 2017 Author Share Posted February 18, 2017 It is not that easy for them to get a tourist visa as the people in US can. Link to comment
SunshineLove82 Posted February 18, 2017 Author Share Posted February 18, 2017 Disregard this post as this was from my best friend Amber and her son who lives in Texas. Crazy phone!! Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 Disregard this post as this was from my best friend Amber and her son who lives in Texas. Crazy phone!! LOL!!! i thought i haven't had enough coffee since i couldn't figure out what it related to!!! that is good, that you consulted an immigration lawyer, i was going to say keep your finger on the pulse of that. Link to comment
SunshineLove82 Posted February 18, 2017 Author Share Posted February 18, 2017 LOL!!! i thought i haven't had enough coffee since i couldn't figure out what it related to!!! that is good, that you consulted an immigration lawyer, i was going to say keep your finger on the pulse of that. Hahaha my crazy phone Yes absolutely as I keep in close contact with the immigration lawyer so that I can be prepared for everything. Plus it's essential for me b/c the attorney does a very strict background check etc before they even allow them to come to the states which works in my favor. Why I didn't do that with my crazy ex husband who is from the US I have no idea lol Link to comment
CrystalBNY Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 I wouldn't travel to him first. "The Laws make it difficult" sounds like an excuse. I would wait for him to sort out whatever he needs to do so that he could get his visa and travel out here. After all, if the love is real it'll be worth the difficulty and the wait. Link to comment
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