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Was I wrong to end it so suddenly?


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So this is kinda complicated, and I just need someone to talk to. For reference he's 24 and I'm 22.

I was with this guy for 8 months. I thought I was happy and in bliss, my friends hated him and my family didn't approve. He is a low-brow comedian and performs in comedy clubs with an offensive or "edgy" style of humor. He is kinda a jerk and stand-offish at first, which was the reason for their disapproval. I ignored it because I knew him and he didn't really think the way people thought he did (he didn't believe what he says in these comedy shows as truth).

Around december I went through something very traumatic at work, it was a dangerous accident where no one was hurt (I'm a social worker) I won't go into detail, but I'm currently taking time off to treat PTSD associated with the event. Since I supported what he does, I guess he thought I would "take a joke" although I made it clear I do not want to associate with it (I don't want to hear the jokes but support his dreams).

Last week, he pulled a prank on me, by getting his friend to pretend to break in in my home with a mask on. And I won't go into too much detail with the "prank" but I'm sure anyone with PTSD can imagine how I feel. After that I called him furious and upset and ended the relationship. He said that he "thought I wasn't like other girls" and "could take a joke". He said the joke was his friend's idea who is worse than him. He then started to cry and say he was sorry and didn't think it would make me so mad. But in my defense, if someone doesn't respect my mental health or my well being, why should I be with them.

I cut all contact and blocked him and his stupid friends off everything. One of our mutual friends says he's in shock and doesn't understand why I reacted the way I did. I don't think he realises what he did was wrong. I know it was cruel to cut contact with him like that but I don't want to be with someone who doesn't respect me. I still love him but I do feel guilty for ending it so suddenly. I don't know. Was I in the wrong? Should I give him another chance? Any advice would help.

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OMG...no way were you wrong in ending things so abruptly! That was way way too harsh, and especially since you were off work for PTSD!! How insensitive and cruel is he?

Do you know what this has proven? He lacks serious empathy, he can't be serious when something serious happens and you need support and understanding and gentleness.

All it would take from a so called loving boyfriend to understand even the basics of PTSD is to google it, that is, if he was concerned about you.

He did the exact opposite...all of these things are more than valid reasons to dump his immature a** and not look back.

You cannot count on a man like that.

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I don't see how that prank is funny at all! A masked stranger attempting to break into your home funny? Sounds like this guy has some growing up to do. I'm just having an extremely difficult time comprehending why he would think this was a good idea.


Can't say I blame you for breaking things off with him. I'd have a hard time seeing past this even after receiving an apology.

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I don't blame you either. I'm trying to think of something more crass and cruel than that "joke", and I can't. If it helps, one of the areas I work in is professional humour, I have several friends who are professional comedians, and I have no problems taking a joke - at all.


It's one thing being edgy on stage; that's part of a professional persona. But not to differentiate between that and real life is frankly pathological. It's significant that he thought you 'weren't like other girls'... apart from being manipulative and putting the responsibility back onto you, it makes me wonder if other partners have ended relationships with him because of him behaving like an ***hat.


Don't feel bad about it. This guy is a total plonker, who hangs out with other total plonkers, and if he actually remembers to engage his brain in future relationships, you'll have done him a favour. On no account take him back again.

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You did the right thing. Your family and friends are right, he's a jerk. One with a bit of a not-so-funny sadistic streak. Dump this idiot for good and go no contact and block him and change your locks. Don't date bad boys just to rebel.

he's 24 and I'm 22. I was with this guy for 8 months. my friends hated him and my family didn't approve. He is kinda a jerk. Last week, he pulled a prank on me, by getting his friend to pretend to break in in my home with a mask on.
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