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My first pregnancy was a miscarriage


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I started seeing someone I used to date again after much needed space and time apart. I hadn't been on the pill when we first started communicating again. Short story, we hooked up, I took the plan B but clearly it was ineffective because I ended up pregnant. I also did get back on the pill a few shorts days later, but we had been sexually active a few separate times before that. I started a period the day after Christmas. Mind you, my periods have always been weird for the last handful of years. It's normal for me to only have a small period every 3-6 months and it's usually very light and only last for a few days. Well on the 26th of December I started what I thought was my period. It was a lot heavier than normal and it was very unexpected. It continued for a handful of days and eventually started to slow down and get lighter, there were even a few times when I thought I stopped.. well I'm still currently bleeding..but I'm still not exactly sure what possessed me to take a pregnancy test but I asked my now boyfriend (the father of the baby) to go buy me a pack on the 6th. I had been experiencing tender breasts, some mild mood swings, but I was also experiencing a lot of cramping with the bleeding. But I took it the test and low and behold the beautiful plus sign was there. I was instantly nervous beyond belief but I called my doctor and told them I was positive, went in got blood work(had to wait till Monday morning to find it results), took 3 more tests over the weekend just to be sure. Still a plus sign. Called me this morning, said my HCG count was around 500, went in for more blood work, office called back this afternoon and told me the number had significantly dropped and they told me it wasn't a viable pregnancy. My heart literally broke. I mean I couldn't have been but maybe 4-5 weeks along. The lady who did the ultrasound couldn't find the sac either. I just had a bad feeling as Monday creeped up that it was going to be this way. I had accepted that I was unexpectedly pregnant and so had my boyfriend. (As crazy as that may sound). I'm just having a hard time dealing with it, I literally couldn't imagine being even further along and losing a baby.. I just fee like I lost a part of me, even if it was just the size of an apple seed and still considered a zygote. It still hurts

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I am so very sorry. Remember you did nothing wrong. It is something difficult to process. Be kind to yourself. Communicate and be kind to each other.


Many here have had miscarriages( including me). You are definitely not alone in that.


Thank you. It's hard not to beat myself up over it, because I keep thinking what could I have done to prevent it, but I try to keep reminding myself that it isn't my fault.


Thank you so much for your kind words!❤️ I'm sorry for your lose(s)

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