Angry

[Missy14]

It has been 2 weeks now since I found out my ex was deceiving me. He was two timing me with someone who I believe is now his fiancee. He threatened me if I tell the girl about me and our relationship. She has no idea I exist! I go from being ok and letting it go to feeling angry and vindictive. He's now living it up with her as if nothing happened. It's not fair. I want so bad to contact her and tell her he's a lying cheating scum but I'm also afraid he'll retaliate. I feel like he victimized me the second time by dismissing me the most brutal way like I'm not a human being. I exist and I have feelings! I didn't deserve any of these.

[browser]

What's the worst he can do? Is there a history of violence?

 

The logical thing to do would be to ignore him and move on but there are some who want revenge and would tell his GF and risk retaliation, but if he tried to do something you could have him arrested.

 

Now THAT'S retaliation for you.

[Missy14]

He threatened to post my intimate pictures if I told the other girl.

[browser]

Ok well there's a lesson to be learned there for sure.

 

NEVER share pictures like that with anyone.

 

That being the case, it's time to move on with your life and forget about him altogether.

 

Or.. still go for revenge but let him know if he posts those pictures you'll file charges. I think it's illegal for him to post such pictures.

 

But then again he could do it anonymously or he could do it despite the fact that he could get in trouble and then those pictures are out there on the internet. Forever.

 

Probably not worth it.

[surfdiva]

"It's not fair"

 

Ugh, I get it but unfortunately. A LOT of things in life that will happen to you just aren't fair. If he's threatening to post intimate pictures of you, I'd let it go. I believe in Karma and if you do, then just let it go. One of my favorite sayings: "Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die". Get busy with life, try to move on. If he's a cheater you're better off without him.

[Wiseman2]

It depends on which is the lesser of two evils...you moving on and forgetting about him and her or your seeking revenge by communicating with her and his seeking revenge through revenge porn?

 

As you know you can contact her and describe what happened but she will believe his version and he will depict you as the "psycho ex", in his defense.

 

It would be best to move on. No good will come for you from contacting her even if he wasn't blackmailing you.

He was two timing me with someone who I believe is now his fiancee. He threatened me if I tell the girl about me and our relationship. He's now living it up with her as if nothing happened. It's not fair.

[reinventmyself]

Same post from 12/21

[agent1607307371]

He threatened to post my intimate pictures if I told the other girl.

 

That would fall under revenge porn laws. Please check the laws in your state.

[MissKhaleesi]

That's a tricky situation. He's an absolute jerk to hold that over your head.

 

But you have to ask yourself if you're doing this for the other girl or if you're doing it for you. Right now telling this girl is the only thing you have that could possibly hurt him.

 

If you're not actually doing this to spare the girl and ONLY to spare the girl, I would suggest letting it go because pictures like that will be there forever.

 

He'll get his.

[browser]

Maybe enlist the help of a 3rd party who "decided to do the right thing" and tell her about you.

 

That way it's not your fault that she found out about it.

[JaggerJim]

His threats could be real, so I wouldn't mess with him.

[Missy14]

Ok well there's a lesson to be learned there for sure.

 

NEVER share pictures like that with anyone.

 

That being the case, it's time to move on with your life and forget about him altogether.

 

Or.. still go for revenge but let him know if he posts those pictures you'll file charges. I think it's illegal for him to post such pictures.

 

But then again he could do it anonymously or he could do it despite the fact that he could get in trouble and then those pictures are out there on the internet. Forever.

 

Probably not worth it.

 

This was lesson learned indeed! I've known him since high school and I never thought he would do something like this to me. I was too trusting and too stupid.

[Missy14]

"It's not fair"

 

Ugh, I get it but unfortunately. A LOT of things in life that will happen to you just aren't fair. If he's threatening to post intimate pictures of you, I'd let it go. I believe in Karma and if you do, then just let it go. One of my favorite sayings: "Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die". Get busy with life, try to move on. If he's a cheater you're better off without him.

 

Thank you for your reply. You are very right, I'm better off without him. I just don't want him to get away with murder so to speak.

[Missy14]

Wiseman2, I thank this website and the people like you who always give excellent advice. I had a really bad day today and was on a verge of contacting the other girl. Good thing I went here first.

[greta96]

The advice I gave you in your last thread still stands: do not mess with his relationship! If you do, you would be only doing it out of spite, to make sure he doesn't get to "live it up" either given that you are still so upset. You wouldn't be doing it to help his fiancee, and you know it. She will know it too.

Why risk him potentially plastering your nudes all over the net? You are safe as long as you don't cross him, because he doesn't want his relationship to be ruined. But if you ruin it for him and he no longer has anything to lose, I bet you will have more to deal with than just him leaking your nudes.

Move on, accept that he was a jerk and forget about him. She will find out about his cheating ways in due time.

[Missy14]

That would fall under revenge porn laws. Please check the laws in your state.

 

I will look more into that. Thank you.

[Missy14]

That's a tricky situation. He's an absolute jerk to hold that over your head.

 

But you have to ask yourself if you're doing this for the other girl or if you're doing it for you. Right now telling this girl is the only thing you have that could possibly hurt him.

 

If you're not actually doing this to spare the girl and ONLY to spare the girl, I would suggest letting it go because pictures like that will be there forever.

 

He'll get his.

 

I want to hurt him. I want him to pay for what he did to me or at least feel some remorse. I also have pictures and videos of him that he sent to me, but I don't want to stoop down his level...but when worse comes to worst...

[browser]

I want to hurt him. I want him to pay for what he did to me or at least feel some remorse. I also have pictures and videos of him that he sent to me, but I don't want to stoop down his level...but when worse comes to worst...

 

This is how nuclear war starts.

 

Just say'en.

[Missy14]

The advice I gave you in your last thread still stands: do not mess with his relationship! If you do, you would be only doing it out of spite, to make sure he doesn't get to "live it up" either given that you are still so upset. You wouldn't be doing it to help his fiancee, and you know it. She will know it too.

Why risk him potentially plastering your nudes all over the net? You are safe as long as you don't cross him, because he doesn't want his relationship to be ruined. But if you ruin it for him and he no longer has anything to lose, I bet you will have more to deal with than just him leaking your nudes.

Move on, accept that he was a jerk and forget about him. She will find out about his cheating ways in due time.

 

Thank you greta96, I appreciate all your wise advice. I guess I need to print out the replies I get from here and keep rereading them when I'm having a moment of weakness.

[Missy14]

This is how nuclear war starts.

 

Just say'en.

 

This made me laugh. Thank you!

[yatsue]

I will look more into that. Thank you.

 

Please please PLEASE contact the proper authorities on this ASAP! Especially if this is illegal in your state and you have ANY evidence of his threat. He could still hold this against you for any reason and could still be at risk of being leaked. Such as, a third party actually did tell his gf about you, but he's convinced you told her directly and then leaks your nudes.

 

Protect yourself. Even if he hasn't followed through with it yet because once leaked, if there is no report that he's made this threat and you did not want them leaked, you have no legal case in some areas. There will be nothing authorities can do. But if you do report this before it's happened, you have evidence and report you do not authorize him to leak your nudes, there's a good chance he'll be brought to justice and/or prevent the nudes from being leaked. Who knows, perhaps the police has the authority to delete these nudes from his devices permanently.

[Missy14]

Please please PLEASE contact the proper authorities on this ASAP! Especially if this is illegal in your state and you have ANY evidence of his threat. He could still hold this against you for any reason and could still be at risk of being leaked. Such as, a third party actually did tell his gf about you, but he's convinced you told her directly and then leaks your nudes.

 

Protect yourself. Even if he hasn't followed through with it yet because once leaked, if there is no report that he's made this threat and you did not want them leaked, you have no legal case in some areas. There will be nothing authorities can do. But if you do report this before it's happened, you have evidence and report you do not authorize him to leak your nudes, there's a good chance he'll be brought to justice and/or prevent the nudes from being leaked. Who knows, perhaps the police has the authority to delete these nudes from his devices permanently.

 

Thank you. I have proofs that he made the threat. You're right, I have to protect myself. He might use those pics against me later on in the future. Thank you for your advice.

[Loralora]

Wether you can do something about this situation or not depends on what country you live in and the power of laws. If you live in the US it's easier since the laws there are stronger and you will have more protection.

 

You have to look at it this way is that girl (or the truth) worth your psycologial and physical well being?

 

He will get what he deserves eventually...karma is a b*tch.

 

The only reason you should be telling her is for her own good and not to get revenge. If you think her well being is a big enough reason to tell then tell her, with proof though otherwise she won't believe you over him if you don't have proof.

 

You should.be happy you aren't with a cheater anymore. Because if he cheated on you he will cheat on everybody including her (just like he did).