A question for guys in authority! Attraction to your staff?

[baxxter]

I was at after work do, where about 100 of us getting hammered.

My company has such a reputation for crazy work parties and this definitely was one of them!

Free drinks after hard day's work got everyone going.

 

I am such a flirt when drunk and was hugging and holding hands with random people but I didn't touch inappropriately etc.

I didn't do anything at all with my boss but I remember us talking about how he thought I am great at my job and me thanking him, ended up saying "I love you boss", in a way you'd say "I luurrrve you, maaan!"

 

Anyway, to cut the long story short he invited me back to his room and next thing he was naked and telling me to arouse him etc. playfully (not authoritatively.) By the way he was in a shared room with another colleague!

 

Nothing much else happened and I got out, and next day he said it was drink talk and we should forget about it and I greed. No hard feelings.

 

Question;

Would guy do this even if he is not actually interested in the girl/woman if he is drunk?

 

I ask this as I never thought he even ever looked at me as female, and I was totally gobsmacked by this.

Not reading too much into this and it probably my fault as much as his, but again I didn't flirt with him as such and it was totally weird to me.

 

Any thoughts?

[Matt3939]

Reminds me of a classic move that I've been told about but never practiced. Get a girl over for Netflix then just take it out.

[baxxter]

Yeah, not quite the answer to my question... Sorry.

[JaggerJim]

Why were you in his hotel room anyways.

[baxxter]

Serious answer to the question is "Because my boss told me to come in". It didn't click in my drunken mind that this was anything but work related. Plus there was another guy in the room who we work together, closely!

We are not 16 years olds who would do it in front of mates, I never saw sex in the picture.

[JaggerJim]

Really? You never saw sex in the picture when you followed him up to his hotel room.

[baxxter]

I didn't quite follow him, my room was few doors away.

[JaggerJim]

Well here is your question

 

Question;

Would guy do this even if he is not actually interested in the girl/woman if he is drunk?

 

Then you did this

ended up saying "I love you boss", in a way you'd say "I luurrrve you, maaan!"

 

So i'm picking but I could be wrong, he interpreted this, as you throwing yourself at him.

[baxxter]

Yes, I got that bit myself,

my question is why he took that chance.

 

Would YOU take that chance even if she is a total minger?

[JaggerJim]

Are you saying that you feel that for him to look at you in a sexual way is weird because you think your un-attractive?

 

I'm not getting where your going with this.

[baxxter]

I always thought he doesn't look at me as female.

Not saying he is attracted to me, but would a guy do that with someone who is not at all interested?

I am asking for my career, I need to maintain this work relationship and now I don't know what he thinks of me as opposite sex.

[JaggerJim]

I think he'd rather just forget the whole ordeal if you will. Why do you keep describing yourself as not female?

[j.man]

Reminds me of a classic move that I've been told about but never practiced. Get a girl over for Netflix then just take it out.

This all really does sound straight out of Jurassic Park.

[baxxter]

Sorry guys in authority, can I just get straight yes or no to my question,

 

would you take up a chance with a girl who you are not attracted to at all. if you thought she is throwing herself at you?

[j.man]

Sorry guys in authority, can I just get straight yes or no to my question,

 

would you take up a chance with a girl who you are not attracted to at all. if you thought she is throwing herself at you?

No. That would be dumb.

[JaggerJim]

Not if she's a minger.

[baxxter]

Cool, good to know.

Thank you, guys in authority!

[superfan]

......so lemme get this straight.

 

You get a bit drunk and your boss "invites" you to perform sexual favors for him. Translation: He sexually harasses you. You decline, get out of his room and the next day he asks for it to be "forgotten" (translation: so that he doesn't lose his job.)

 

He commits sexual harassment and all you can worry about is whether he finds you attractive???

 

Head. Desk.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like he is regretting his drunken actions and hoping it doesn't become office gossip or a sexual harassment case.

he invited me back to his room and next thing he was naked and telling me to arouse him etc.

Nothing much else happened and I got out, and next day he said it was drink talk and we should forget about it and I greed.

Would guy do this even if he is not actually interested in the girl/woman if he is drunk?

[ThatwasThen]

I always thought he doesn't look at me as female.

Not saying he is attracted to me, but would a guy do that with someone who is not at all interested?

I am asking for my career, I need to maintain this work relationship and now I don't know what he thinks of me as opposite sex.

Yes... A guy who is a total wanker, useless twit who works by the numbers would do that even if he wasn't attracted to you. If he thought that you were a goer (which your drunken flirting may have suggested) then they would have a see if you'd get him off.

 

He didn't even approach you intimately but simply gave you a command which you were silly enough to follow. (or were you?)

 

Ignore it and him unless in a professional capacity from here on out or take him to Human Resources for his inappropriate and sexual harassing antics... your choice. Be prepared to bear witness if you do the latter.

 

Nothing much else happened.

What DID happen? Did you arouse him?

[Capricorn3]

I am such a flirt when drunk ......... ended up saying "I love you boss", in a way you'd say "I luurrrve you, maaan!"

 

Not reading too much into this and it probably my fault as much as his, but again I didn't flirt with him as such and it was totally weird to me.

 

Any thoughts?

My thoughts: OP, you are 40 years old. Old enough to figure this out yourself (imo). My only suggestion would be to cut back on the drink and drunk flirting and "getting hammered at work do's".

[baxxter]

We get along well ok at work and with the way I was when drunk I can't really blame him for possibly misreading the signs.

 

......so lemme get this straight.

 

You get a bit drunk and your boss "invites" you to perform sexual favors for him. Translation: He sexually harasses you. You decline, get out of his room and the next day he asks for it to be "forgotten" (translation: so that he doesn't lose his job.)

 

He commits sexual harassment and all you can worry about is whether he finds you attractive???

 

Head. Desk.

[baxxter]

Am sure he regretted this whole thing in HR way and his male ego being crushed with humiliation way after rejection.

 

He put my hand down there and I kind moved my hand a bit (natural reaction? lol) but said I can't,

and he asked,

"Why are you here then?" (Indicating he thought I was a goer.)

and I replied,

"Urr because you told me to come in? You are my boss."

Then he froze and told me I should go.

 

Yes... A guy who is a total wanker, useless twit who works by the numbers would do that even if he wasn't attracted to you. If he thought that you were a goer (which your drunken flirting may have suggested) then they would have a see if you'd get him off.

 

He didn't even approach you intimately but simply gave you a command which you were silly enough to follow. (or were you?)

 

Ignore it and him unless in a professional capacity from here on out or take him to Human Resources for his inappropriate and sexual harassing antics... your choice. Be prepared to bear witness if you do the latter.

 

What DID happen? Did you arouse him?

[baxxter]

But It's so much fun! LOL

I don't do it often, which is as bad, I suppose, because when let go I go a bit overboard.

 

The whole experience was not bad at all.

I had so much fun with others, as well as him through the night, and the ending didn't ruin it.

 

I do like this guy as a person, and respect him as boss, and it's sorta fluttering that he even liked me that way,

(I know some of you girls would outrage at this but I am very insecure person and constantly worry people dislike me)

and the fact he told me he appreciates my work was a confidence boost.

 

I wouldn't have slept with him anyway, regardless, that would ruin so many things.

My thoughts: OP, you are 40 years old. Old enough to figure this out yourself (imo). My only suggestion would be to cut back on the drink and drunk flirting and "getting hammered at work do's".

[Capricorn3]

(I know some of you girls would outrage at this but I am very insecure person and constantly worry people dislike me)

Um ... if you worry about people not liking you, then maybe it would be a good idea NOT to show them your drunken flirting "getting hammered" side at work. I mean .... think about it ... reputations can get shot this way, right? Self-fulfilling prophecy and all that jazz. Hello??