Boys, whyyy?

[1a1a]

Remember this guy?

 

Well, he got in touch on the weekend apologising for not replying sooner, he had indeed been really busy and how am I going? We've been chatting back and forth for the last 3 days. He's made it as far as to say he would like to give me a massage (in response to me saying I could really use one). But he has not asked to meet up. And he's definitely not asked me out on a date. And today when he said he has wandering hands, I used my words and said he should ask me on a date first. To which he replies "we've already been on one" (at My invitation, before he disappeared). After a bit more back and forth we have established we find each other attractive, but to my reiteration that he should ask me on a date, I will say yes, but it's definitely his turn to initiate and it will be nice to see him again, complete bloody silence, crickets. What even?! I Don't get it?!!!!!

 

But I am quietly patting myself on the back and thankful to enotalone community for making that a thing I would notice and identify that I want. Oh how I would like for a cute boy to ask me on an actual real life in the flesh date. *sighs the sigheeest sigh*

[ParisPaulette]

Good on you for insisting on a date. But lose this one's number, he's trying to get you in bed and isn't interested in dating you. And his "busy" was him hitting on other girls who've now turned him down and so he's come back around to you.

 

When they bring up sexual talk before they've even dated you or when you barely know each other it means they have no interest in anything but hitting it and quitting it.

 

Don't put up with that crap. Keep your eyes peeled for the guys who do ask you out, because they want more than just the physical. It will happen. Use guys like this one to practice putting in boundaries and insisting you be treated with respect, because you're worth it.

[milly007]

I would avoid this one. He sounds off...way off. He contacts you months later and after you mention that he should ask you out on a date he replies, "we've already been on one"? No guy who is genuinely interested in a woman will respond this way. Pretty jerky response, if you ask me. The fact that he's telling you he's good with his hands is another red flag. He's looking to hook-up, that's about it, and he contacted you to see if you'd bite. Please don't involve yourself with this guy. He's the type you want to avoid with a ten foot pole. Too many red flags to ignore here.

[Sportster2005]

Remember this guy?

 

Well, he got in touch on the weekend apologising for not replying sooner, he had indeed been really busy and how am I going? We've been chatting back and forth for the last 3 days. He's made it as far as to say he would like to give me a massage (in response to me saying I could really use one). But he has not asked to meet up. And he's definitely not asked me out on a date. And today when he said he has wandering hands, I used my words and said he should ask me on a date first. To which he replies "we've already been on one" (at My invitation, before he disappeared). After a bit more back and forth we have established we find each other attractive, but to my reiteration that he should ask me on a date, I will say yes, but it's definitely his turn to initiate and it will be nice to see him again, complete bloody silence, crickets. What even?! I Don't get it?!!!!!

 

But I am quietly patting myself on the back and thankful to enotalone community for making that a thing I would notice and identify that I want. Oh how I would like for a cute boy to ask me on an actual real life in the flesh date. *sighs the sigheeest sigh*

 

Good for you for setting boundaries.

 

Here's something that I think will help you. When a man is into you, you will know it. You won't have to guess or wonder. Everything else is just foolishness, games and noise. Only bother with men that show consistent interest.

 

To answer your question. Ultimately he isn't that interested. If they don't act interested, they're not interested. And if there are mixed signals, treat it as non-interest.

[reinventmyself]

Disappearing, reappearing, sexual innuendos and no firm date.

This guy was just looking for someone to talk dirty to. Your asking for a legitimate date let him know you weren't going to play his way.

Learn to flush them out quicker.

Good for you. No doubt next time you will.

[DancingFool]

....it's been months. Sorry but NO he was not that busy just not interested and still isn't interested. He only found your number in his phone and amused himself at your expense. Tugged on the line to see if you are still on the hook and omg....you are..... For the love of everything, next time something like this happens and you have some clown surface months or even days down the road, just cut to the chase and tell him straight up to get lost and block his number. Do not stoop to texting, talking, entertaining him and asking for a date. You are making a fool out of yourself by doing that. He already showed you back then that he is not only not interested, but not very nice either.

[lostandhurt]

He was horny and looking for a booty call but he called the wrong number!

 

Good for you and a lesson well learned.

 

He will probably try again though so be prepared for more of the same.

 

There is a guy out there for you but don't let these "cute" boys distract you from a real guy that wants the same things you do.

 

Lost

[Andytheman]

If you want him, you're going to have to step up your game. Ask him out but expect to pay.

[1a1a]

Thank you commentariat.

 

A day later he replies with "haven't played guitar in ages, would you still like to jam?"

 

I suppose that would fulfill another want. But still *head desk*

 

Why do you think that Andytheman? I've always done the asking out, I'd reeeeeally like the next person to ask me, starting to feel overwhelmingly like no one I like ever would of their own volition and all my relationships only happened because I made them. And look how great that's turning out?!