Promising new relationship and he just dropped a bombshell...gutted

[lostandhurt]

Good for you.

 

Not all guys are like this and I am sure you have plenty of options so stick to your guns and decide what is best for your life always. Words are just words unless their actions match them.

 

I don't see him breaking free of his ex and her dramatic emergencies anytime soon. I am sorry, I am sure he is a nice guy but he is being to nice to the wrong woman!

 

Lost

[Shorthaired]

As I predicted, he is fading. He has sent me one 2 word text in the last 3 days. I am not initiating anything. I am chatting to someone new that I will hopefully meet soon. I am feeling much better in general

[gone]

it sucks this happened to you, SH. It is hard to meet someone you click with, have some fantastic dates, and think it is heading toward something, then agree to go exclusive, only to immediately be blown off. You must be a big person, because if it were me, I'd want to give him a piece of my mind (even if it showed I cared). What a DB he is.

I agree with your method of letting it fade, too. Best to not try to control something like this, but to let it go. What red flags can you look for in the future to avoid something like this happening again?

[Shorthaired]

It's not over yet.

 

He contacted me after I wrote my last post and has been in contact every day since. We went on a day trip today and it was really romantic. Unfortunately, his ex wife is still causing a lot of drama. She is off work due to nervous breakdown and calls him constantly. Sometimes she wants him back, other times she yells at him. All of his stories check out. She even tracked me down and started randomly emailing me their family pictures (all taken many years ago). While he was with me, she called him numerous times which he ignored and then she got one of the kids to call him

 

He maintains that he doesn't want her back under any circumstance and has been open about everything. He even took a call from his dad in front of me discussing the situation. He apologizes to me for all of this and says that I make him so happy.

 

I still have doubts about drama never dying down and about them somehow getting back together. I just kind of feel he is too nice to her given her appalling behavior. I know that I should probably run and never look back.

[odysseus77]

This is just a theory as a guy who's delt with similar crazy exes...Sometimes it's hard to walk away from the really crazy ones because you fear they can't handle it. I went back to an ex girlfriend a few times because she literally threatened suicide if I left her. No person wants that on their conscience. Seeing that this woman had a supposed "nervous break down" could mean something similar. Now consider that it's also the mother of his kids (probably with custody) and he has a huge vested interest in her not having a nervous breakdown/suicidal depression. Eventually you just have to bite the bullet and leave, but it's really really hard in those situations.

[Shorthaired]

Things were going really well. I saw him couple of more times, we were in contact every day, he even started getting legal advice on children custody arrangements and planning a future with me.

 

I am supposed to go out of the country for 2 weeks and we have planned to do something on the day I am leaving. He just cancelled because ex has checked herself into a hospital over the weekend so he will have the kids. He promises that by the time I am back, he will have it all mostly sorted with legal help.

 

I am disappointed. I am questioning again if he is 100% honest with me. I am also questioning if things will ever improve or if he will forever be at the mercy of the ex.

 

I have accepted a date tonight with someone I have been talking to for a few weeks. It's just drinks and I won't kiss him but I still wonder if it's sort of cheating and feel a bit bad. We have agreed to exclusivity before the ex thing happened but haven't revisited the conversation since (although I think it's assumed by him).

 

To be honest, I like him so much (the guy with the ex), am borderline in love with him but am cautious of getting more invested because of so much uncertainty. It's a high risk situation and I am likely going to end up hurt.

 

The new guy is much less risky (no ex wives or kids) but am not sure about the connection.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately he keeps breaking promises because of his ex drama and so yes you would be "forever be at the mercy of the ex".

 

Even though you had a great connection it's only been 5 dates and you are seeing the tip of the iceberg with the ex drama.

 

Excellent you are starting to see other people. The 'connection' that you feel would wear off after enough empty promises and a lot of heartache if you were to continue.

He just cancelled because ex has checked herself into a hospital over the weekend so he will have the kids. I have accepted a date tonight with someone I have been talking to for a few weeks.

[Ms Darcy]

Things were going really well. I saw him couple of more times, we were in contact every day, he even started getting legal advice on children custody arrangements and planning a future with me.

 

I am supposed to go out of the country for 2 weeks and we have planned to do something on the day I am leaving. He just cancelled because ex has checked herself into a hospital over the weekend so he will have the kids. He promises that by the time I am back, he will have it all mostly sorted with legal help.

 

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.