Dominating Boyfriend

[lilyallen]

My boyfriend restrains me when I try to leave and go home. He laughs and says he wants to cuddle longer but physically holds me down. Tonight after trying to squirm out of his grasp he spanked me so hard it really hurt. I told him he had gone too far and left.

 

I am over at his house so often and he makes almost no effort to visit me at mine, or hang out with my family and friends.

 

When I tell him I want to go home and see my cat he jokes about how he should just let his dog eat her so I have no reason to leave.

 

Deep down I love him but I am starting to lose my initial attraction to him and feel uncomfortable. Has anyone been in a similar situation? What should I do?

[melancholy123]

Good grief. How old are you? My guess is you are pretty young. You should NEVER EVER tolerate anyone holding you down and/or spanking you. This is abuse at it's finest and it's just plain wrong. You need to ditch this guy now. Not tomorrow, but now. Run, dont walk, away and dont look back. You deserve someone who will treat you properly and he sure doesnt. You can't possibly love someone who treats you so badly.

[1a1a]

That's poor behaviour and a gross joke.

 

You certainly don't have to stay with him. If you do want to try a little longer you could try drawing some boundaries. If he hasn't been to your place in a while invite him. When he declines and counter invites say no. You want him to engage with you on your terms some times too.

 

When he restrains you from leaving, tell him makes you feel uncomfortable and less attracted to him.

 

When he 'jokes' about killing your cat you can always pull out "Wow" and leave, no explanation required. The anti cat sentiment would be heading into deal breaker territory for me. I've had a partner who was heaps down on everything I did and loved. I didn't realise how draining that was until we split.

[HeartGoesOn]

When it comes to physical abuse, (and that it is) there are no second chances. I guarantee he will continue to hurt you, and no, you're not an exception to the rule.

 

Please get out while you can...

[jujusamples]

@OP, I think you need to read up on the "red flags" of an abusive relationships! Everything your boyfriend is displaying are early signs of abuse. Sorry, correction, he is abusive already!

 

It is never okay for him to hold you hostage like that and to spank you? Really? His jokes are very inappropriate. Anyone whom talks about hurting an animal and thinks it's funny is bad news.

 

He is trying to isolate you from your friends and family, that is not cool. It is also unhealthy to be spending all that time with him as well. I strongly suggest you get out of this relationship before it is too late. Get some help if you have to, I'm very worried for your well being.

 

I had a friend a while ago and things with her ex boyfriend was like your scenario. Fast forward two years, (I used to work wit her) she didn't show up for work for a week. When she did, her face was all smashed up! She was lucky she somehow got away but I remember her saying she was knocked unconscious. Please please, leave! Get some help!

[lukeb]

Sometimes is hard to tell if someone is trolling. I suspect the OP is but I guess this is something you don't want to be wrong about. It has most of the signs of trolling. Maybe its a type of Munchhausen syndrome where people usually women get love and support through making up victim scenario's or illnesses. I any case I hope you get the help you need whichever the case.

[Capricorn3]

Under review.