Potential trouble between current fling and ex.Need advice

[lostlove76]

The Husband knows about me and his wife and hes okay with it.

 

Are you sure? Because my first thought would be that she's lying to you about that. Why would her husband be okay with her cheating on him?? Unless it's because you're supplying her (them) with money. If he truly is okay with it, then there is some messed up reason for that. Most people are not okay with their spouse being involved with someone else.

 

This is all waaaaaay too messy, way too much drama. This woman doesn't sound like a good person, nor does the other woman if she's using you for rides. I'm sorry that you feel you need to settle. Take control of the situation and drop them both. There are surely some single women in your area you can date. They may not have stripper bodies, but I bet they have better values!

[ThatwasThen]

Yeah she has it bad she sometimes walks with a cane. Cant even get out of bed .

 

In that case, how DOES she dance at a strip club? O.o

[Calidude745]

Are you sure? Because my first thought would be that she's lying to you about that. Why would her husband be okay with her cheating on him?? Unless it's because you're supplying her (them) with money. If he truly is okay with it, then there is some messed up reason for that. Most people are not okay with their spouse being involved with someone else.

 

This is all waaaaaay too messy, way too much drama. This woman doesn't sound like a good person, nor does the other woman if she's using you for rides. I'm sorry that you feel you need to settle. Take control of the situation and drop them both. There are surely some single women in your area you can date. They may not have stripper bodies, but I bet they have better values!

 

Yes Im sure Ive even met the husband . I do realize that the healthy thing to do is move on.I tried that a few weeks ago.I told my lady friend that I wouldn't be able to help her until at least I got paid and I told myself that I wasn't going to text her well.Well I only lasted 4 days before I found myself texting her.At that point I was miserable without her.Depression and anxiety kicked in.I didn't feel better until I heard from her.She would go on to tell me that day she had checked herself into hospital.I would later go on to visit her and things returned back to normal.Fast forward to this Monday she texts me about noon telling me that her power has been shut off.And that she needs 300.Well I tell her I'm not sure if I have that money and that I'll call her back .Well tell her that Ill be able to help this one time but that it leaves me with just enough money for food&gas.So I forked over the money and She says to me that she would make it up to me. tonight so I pick her up that night for our date. Well about an hour in the date she says she has not feeling well and asks if we can continue our date tomorrow since she was cutting it short.I agree she says ill cook for you ill treat you like a king .So the next day rolls around and I wait she finally texts back says that she didn't think about at the time but she did in fact have class.But she will meet the next day.I agreed and we seemed. cool.So today rolls around and I texted her earlier to ask a question about her school work.(I occasionally help her with school work) As of now 5 hours later I have not gotten a response.She knows were suppose to meet tonight.

[Calidude745]

In that case, how DOES she dance at a strip club? O.o

 

She ocasionally works when her body allows it.

[ThatwasThen]

Yes Im sure Ive even met the husband . I do realize that the healthy thing to do is move on.I tried that a few weeks ago.I told my lady friend that I wouldn't be able to help her until at least I got paid and I told myself that I wasn't going to text her well.Well I only lasted 4 days before I found myself texting her.At that point I was miserable without her.Depression and anxiety kicked in.I didn't feel better until I heard from her.She would go on to tell me that day she had checked herself into hospital.I would later go on to visit her and things returned back to normal.Fast forward to this Monday she texts me about noon telling me that her power has been shut off.And that she needs 300.Well I tell her I'm not sure if I have that money and that I'll call her back .Well tell her that Ill be able to help this one time but that it leaves me with just enough money for food&gas.So I forked over the money and She says to me that she would make it up to me. tonight so I pick her up that night for our date. Well about an hour in the date she says she has not feeling well and asks if we can continue our date tomorrow since she was cutting it short.I agree she says ill cook for you ill treat you like a king .So the next day rolls around and I wait she finally texts back says that she didn't think about at the time but she did in fact have class.But she will meet the next day.I agreed and we seemed. cool.So today rolls around and I texted her earlier to ask a question about her school work.(I occasionally help her with school work) As of now 5 hours later I have not gotten a response.She knows were suppose to meet tonight.

Yep... you're being lap danced dude.

[lostlove76]

Please please PLEASE quit giving this woman money! Don't give her another dime. We are all telling you here that you're being used. I'm sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear, but you need to face the facts and quit letting her take advantage of you. She will keep asking you for money as long as you're willing to fork it over. Eventually you'll be broke, with nothing left to give, and she will quit having anything to do with you. I can pretty much guarantee it. Stop this now before it goes any further, and if you can, get therapy to deal with the feelings. Just don't give her any more money, whatever you do.

[Calidude745]

Its hard to just walk away when .I put my heart and soul into this relationship.I feel deeply in love with her .At one time it really did feel like she was my GF .We would text each other everyday all day. Very intimate.lots of sex kissing holding hands its seem like she was drifting away from her husband.But than little by little we stop spending time together. We started having drama we started having drama and one night about 3 and a half weeks ago .We got into a terrible fight about her blowing me off.At that point I thought it was over .She even told me that she was ready to cut me off.we did get past it But it felt like that did major damage to the relationship.

[Calidude745]

Please please PLEASE quit giving this woman money! Don't give her another dime. We are all telling you here that you're being used. I'm sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear, but you need to face the facts and quit letting her take advantage of you. She will keep asking you for money as long as you're willing to fork it over. Eventually you'll be broke, with nothing left to give, and she will quit having anything to do with you. I can pretty much guarantee it. Stop this now before it goes any further, and if you can, get therapy to deal with the feelings. Just don't give her any more money, whatever you do.

 

Its already gotten to that point where I don't have any money left to give.

[Hollyj]

That's why she disappeared.

[Calidude745]

That's why she disappeared.

 

 

[lostlove76]

I know it's not easy to walk away from someone. Believe me, I know. But when you're giving someone money, it's on a whole nother level than just a bad and hurtful relationship. She's taking advantage of you, and, forgive me, but you seem a bit naive to be forking over all this money. Or desperate for love. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to put you down. But this just isn't right. She's pretty sleazy to be asking you to give her cash. This isn't love, or a relationship.

[Calidude745]

I know it's not easy to walk away from someone. Believe me, I know. But when you're giving someone money, it's on a whole nother level than just a bad and hurtful relationship. She's taking advantage of you, and, forgive me, but you seem a bit naive to be forking over all this money. Or desperate for love. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to put you down. But this just isn't right. She's pretty sleazy to be asking you to give her cash. This isn't love, or a relationship.

 

No its cool I was very desperate and starved for attention and when I saw her I was swept off my feet losing all good judgement and reason.

[Hollyj]

Why are you supporting a married woman?

 

I strongly suggest any more money going to therapy . Your choice in women is horrendous,

[Calidude745]

Why are you supporting a married woman?

 

I strongly suggest any more money going to therapy . Your choice in women is horrendous,

I supported her because She is sick(MS) and cant work was trying to get on disablilty so she had to wait 6 months to before it kicks in.Husband for many months didn't work due to not being able to find a job.He is a registed sex offender.He only been working recently but part time.My heart went out to her to see he with her sickness.Seeing her have to walk with a cane.It was so sad and I knew at that point i could never say no to her when she needed help.I'm not the best looking man im not the tallest and I'm shy and passive Its very hard for me to meet women.It may take months or years to finds someone new so when she showed me attention and seemed interested in me.And seeing how I was already drawned to her even before we became close.There was no way I was going to resist.I told myself I'm going to try my hardest to win her over.But up to this point Ive see that Ive failed.Every single meaningful relationship ive been in was considered toxic.Friends and family would always urge me to move on.But I wouldn't listen until I ffinnaly my heart got fed up and I decided to move on.You know that old saying the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.The rang true for me many times.

[Hollyj]

If you are looking for a relationship, then why are you going after these type of women? Your likelihood of having a healthy relationship with a married woman are zero, and then top it with her disease. The other one is an aggressive drunk. I mean, c'mon. It sounds like you purposely self sabotage.

 

Why don't you stay out of the strip clubs and get some therapy. There are many men who are not attractive or tall, but find lovely ladies. Maybe if you stay away from the drama-induced stripper types you will have success.

 

I also think that is a bunch of crap that it takes that long to get on on Disability. You've been taken for a ride. But, you walked into it, with your eyes wide open.

[Wiseman2]

So you are supporting her and her husband?

her power has been shut off.And that she needs 300. I forked over the money and She says to me that she would make it up to me.

[Hollyj]

So you are supporting her and her husband?

 

Ridiculous!

 

Her sex-offender husband pimps her out, and you are her John. UGH.

[Calidude745]

So you are supporting her and her husband?

 

what I've done I I've done for her sake .She pleaded with me I couldn't leave her hanging.I have big heart and when I love there's nothing I wouldn't do for that person.

[ThatwasThen]

what I've done I I've done for her sake .She pleaded with me I couldn't leave her hanging.I have big heart and when I love there's nothing I wouldn't do for that person.

You are suffering greatly from what is known as "White Knight Syndrome" and it is a form of codependency. You go too far with your generosity which is a negative attribute since you lose yourself in others to the point that you suffer yourself.

 

Google White Knight Syndrome and read what I'm talking about. Its not a kind thing to give until you end up needing to be helped yourself.

 

She's a user so block her so she can't get through to you anymore and stop going to that club. You are too well known by the "ladies" and they know they can lap dance you right to the poor house.

[Wiseman2]

I think you can do better than this gold-digger. Get on some dating apps and start browsing for who else is out there for you and filter for women who are available and have decent jobs, so they don't want to exploit you.

Its already gotten to that point where I don't have any money left to give.

[ThatwasThen]

Work on your White Knight Syndrome and conquer it first or you'll not even see the red flags that got you into this mess and you'll end up with another one, just like the other one.

[Hollyj]

what I've done I I've done for her sake .She pleaded with me I couldn't leave her hanging.I have big heart and when I love there's nothing I wouldn't do for that person.

 

This married woman used you for money. WAKE UP! She does not care about you! Don't you think it's time you got some help, so that you can love and respect yourself!

[Hollyj]

what I've done I I've done for her sake .She pleaded with me I couldn't leave her hanging.I have big heart and when I love there's nothing I wouldn't do for that person.

 

I'm sorry, but you have been very foolish.

[Ms Darcy]

The Husband knows about me and his wife and hes okay with it.And my ex there nothing going on with her except playing taxi for her since her car isnt running.What a horrible feeling to know that I might be being used my not just one woman but by two.

 

This is all I needed to read to realize this isn't a real post. No way a husband, let alone a stripper's husband, would be cool with that.

[boltnrun]

Why didn't her husband pay the power bill?

 

Oh yeah, because the two of them knew they could sucker you into paying it!

 

I bet the power wasn't shut off and they spent your money on a night out or a new TV or something.