Dating Across Racial Lines

[lucidious]

Where I live (Southern Cali) I see a lot of mixed couples, so that's why I don't get how uncommon it is at this day and age and the struggle for an Asian male in the dating world. Is it really that hard? I know a few Asian guys who ended up marrying Latina/Caucasian women and have cute kids. One of my close friends who is African American is super attracted to Asian guys, she goes crazy over the actors/movie stars lol. Actually, a lot of my non Asian friends have dated/are attracted to asian dudes. So that's why I don't get it, there are a lot of females out there who prefer/like Asian guys, so I guess the issue is probably your location and/or your dating style.

[Blue Spiral]

I've hooked up with Hispanic women, Asian women, and one African-American woman. I never ran into any problems, but it was just FWB.

 

For the record, I live in a "rural city", and I see a ton of mixed couples here. More all the time, in fact. So, we're remote, and our population is relatively small, but I've seen about every combination you could think of.

[gcmc1121]

Where I live (Southern Cali) I see a lot of mixed couples, so that's why I don't get how uncommon it is at this day and age and the struggle for an Asian male in the dating world. Is it really that hard? I know a few Asian guys who ended up marrying Latina/Caucasian women and have cute kids. One of my close friends who is African American is super attracted to Asian guys, she goes crazy over the actors/movie stars lol. Actually, a lot of my non Asian friends have dated/are attracted to asian dudes. So that's why I don't get it, there are a lot of females out there who prefer/like Asian guys, so I guess the issue is probably your location and/or your dating style.

 

California is one of the most diverse and accepting states to live in when it comes to accepting of all races. The place where I run into this problem is smack middle of Florida where people are a bit reserved in the matter of being less likely to wander away from what's familiar to them. I lived in California for work for a couple years and traveled to San Francisco multiple times throughout the years and I definitely notice a larger quantity of interracial couples.

[gcmc1121]

I've hooked up with Hispanic women, Asian women, and one African-American woman. I never ran into any problems, but it was just FWB.

 

For the record, I live in a "rural city", and I see a ton of mixed couples here. More all the time, in fact. So, we're remote, and our population is relatively small, but I've seen about every combination you could think of.

 

May I ask what state this is in? I definitely notice age has something to do with the how accepting people are of others as well. Being 25 at going through college it's very difficult to get along with some of the younger crowd already so I stay away mostly. But it seems the older the women I speak with the more opened they are to different things as well.

[Wiseman2]

So you feel you are in an area where people 'stick to their own kind', so to speak? And therefore are not open to dating you?

In larger, diverse cities people tend to be more open minded while here everyone kind of stays with what they're familiar with.

[Ms Darcy]

Where I live (Southern Cali) I see a lot of mixed couples, so that's why I don't get how uncommon it is at this day and age and the struggle for an Asian male in the dating world. Is it really that hard? I know a few Asian guys who ended up marrying Latina/Caucasian women and have cute kids. One of my close friends who is African American is super attracted to Asian guys, she goes crazy over the actors/movie stars lol. Actually, a lot of my non Asian friends have dated/are attracted to asian dudes. So that's why I don't get it, there are a lot of females out there who prefer/like Asian guys, so I guess the issue is probably your location and/or your dating style.

 

I think what we see is what we think others experience. Often, this is not the case.

[gcmc1121]

So you feel you are in an area where people 'stick to their own kind', so to speak? And therefore are not open to dating you?

 

Yes, thank you for understanding, this is indeed what I am try to say; however, I want to look at this from an objective point of view and take away the self in the question at hand. Unconscious biases play a role in our every day lives. This speaks same for dating as well, we want to think that we live in an all accepting world where everyone looks pass racial and colored lines but that isn't the case. The interracial marriage statistics are noticeably between East coast states (especially Southern states) and West coast states where the western states are more culturally diverse. Things are definitely better now compared to 49 years ago when interracial marriage was first legalized, but it is still an uncommon occurrence.

 

Sorry, back to unconscious biases, it does exist, and predominately so in less diverse areas. Psychology Today has an article that looks at some of the things people consider while approaching a relationship and our biases definitely stand out. The article goes on to state that, "the bias is stronger among women—a bad partner can prove more harmful to a woman than to a man". These biases coupled with existing stereotypes definitely make dating in certain areas more difficult than some.

[Wiseman2]

Attraction is attraction, if someone is not attracted to someone...for whatever reason, it is what is is. It does not in any way imply bias or prejudice. Same way your attraction to Caucasians is what it is, not a bias/prejudice.

Unconscious biases play a role in our every day lives.

[snoopygal]

As a 25-year-old Asian who is more attracted to Caucasians and Latinas, how do I break into the dating scene?

 

The only women that’s ever responded were ones that already have a preference in dating Asian men.

 

Before this gets too long, the thing that is really bother me is, am I overthinking this? Or is it actually more difficult to date other races as an Asian male?

 

 

TL;DR - Is dating across racial lines as an Asian male actually more difficult, or am I just doing something wrong?

 

J

It seems like you've done a ton of research about Asian males in the dating scene, and you've come to the conclusion that they are less likely to be involved in an interracial relationship. It sounds like you already answered that question.

 

What is wrong with dating someone that already has a preference in dating Asian men? That's exactly what you're looking for, right?

 

I don't think you're doing anything wrong. You break into the dating scene the same way anyone else does. Dating sites, striking up conversations with people you're attracted to, meeting through friends.

[kamurj]

Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.