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25 days no contact, and GIGS??


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It's been 2/3 months since my ex left me out of the blue for another older guy, she's 18, he's 30, an I'm 23... We was together 2 years, it was tough at first due too the opinions an crap from others....


Anyway, she meets this guy at a festival, an for some reason, seems too have fallen for him just like that... ! I looked up something my mom mentioned GIGS, an it's seems too pretty accurate, the examples why she left, "oh it's not you its me" "I feel different" "i love you but not in love"


Other notes about gigs, was the relationship going dead an boring, including a dead sex life, or the fear of a full on long term relationship, or a partner gets lazy an stops being groomed etc...


Our relationship was very fun filled, days out, parks, coffee shops, concerts, cinemas, dinner dates, home cooking, tattoos, meals out with her family an mine, shopping, sexy shopping... And our sex life was pretty brilliant, 6/7 times at some days... I kept my self in good shape working out I'm

Skinny lean, from what I did do boxing, mma... Always clean, taken care of my appearnce..

The guy she left me for is the total opposite, is overweight, not very attractive, I'd say he's never been in a gym in his life, he just drinks an smokes weed a lot... So I can't understand why The spark just vanished...


The guy she appears to be seeing was someone she was chatting to in our last week together, an she told me he was just a friend... Anyway I found out they had been sending dirty texts too each other an since then we haven't spoke... That was about 25 days ago.. I said too her last, why would you ever want too hurt me like this.. An she told me too F u K off an not bother again...


I'm nearly approaching 30 days no contact I feel good, feel better... I've started too take up bodybuilding, because I've landed a new job in construction so I can't be a skinny guy on a site haha! But I still do geniuly love this girl an want her too walk back too me, I'm at the point of making dates with new people too help me move forward if she doesn't...


She seems too be enjoying life, as what I've heard but I shut most people down who mention her, she's living pretty wild, smoking drinking an going out with this guy ...


I look back an I used too offer too take her out on the drink quite often, but she said she hated it... I even made space cakes a few times as fun treat with her family for a bbq..

But she said getting high made her feel sick..


But the life style an getting high seems her thing now... So what do you guys think?


Ps sorry for posting so much, it's just my way of releasing any crap x

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Even though it's very typical, I think you would be doing yourself a favor by stop trying to make sense of something insensible.

All the effort spent into trying to decode her behavior (reading online articles `gigs') and what-not is valuable wasted energy that would better spent on healing and improving yourself.


I get it. We all want to make sense of something that hurts that much, but we rarely get an answer that makes the pain go away.

In the end, it doesn't change the outcome.

I am sorry this has happened to you. From what you describe, she doesn't deserve you.

Be patient and give it time.

Head high!

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I feel like something is missing from this story. People don't suddenly stray for no reason unless the relationship itself wasn't that great when compared to the new exciting dynamic of friendship.


But I don't think she's worth going back to based on how she treated you post breakup personally.

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GIGS or not, it seems to me like she was pretty clear about her intentions. You could be the best boyfriend in the world and a girl could still choose to leave. Sounds to me like you have a lot to offer. I'd start dating other people if you feel ready for it.

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Well, you're doing the best thing you could be by going NC and moving on. She told you to f off and not bother her, that's exactly what you do. She may well grow tired of the new guy and start to reach out again. If that happens, I hope you're able to tell her thanks but no thanks. Even if she did have a change of heart, how long until she has another one?

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Excellent update. Agree she may have had gigs but the drinking/weed thing may be the bad boy freedom ride thing she's doing. Stay the course, you are doing great.

The guy she left me for is the total opposite, is overweight, not very attractive, I'd say he's never been in a gym in his life, he just drinks an smokes weed a lot.

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In our 2nd year together I was promoted in the company I used too work for, so I had too move away... I was running a hotel/restruant...

But I was put high levels of stress, head office chewing my ass, staff not turning up, problems with my family, my fights being canceld her being needy an glingy...


And it's caused me too be quite snappy an angry with my ex at the time having petty arguments, what would turn sour...

But asides from that... There wasn't any bad, like I know partners raid, there other half phones, tell them who an who they can't hang around with. And so on.. We never argued at all when we together, was always when I had too go back, or when she had too go home,

Think the stress of not being with each other got too us..... But anyway I returned home 2/3 months ago, an after 4/5 days she leaves me.... With those excuses ..

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Well . . . I am sorry but from what you described it sounded like a slow come undone.

She found someone who meets her needs. . whatever they might be. It's not up to you or anyone else to approve or understand for that matter.


Take your time and process this. It's only been few weeks and wrestling with all the what if's and why's is part of the process.

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A slow come undone?


Even in that last week together, we seemed too be on top the world together, going out shopping, getting piercings an tattoos together, an eating loads of junk food, hitting the gym, I got her a gym membership at the same place as me, because she said she's feeling conscious about her weight, but I always talked too her an told her she was beautiful an her body is sexy


.. But come the Saturday; she texts me, when I was at work, "I feel different" then so on so on! .... It's ... I love her, but I can't forgive what's happened ... Soon forgot hopefully..

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