Dating and "the Spark"

[JA0371]

For me that spark is when you meet someone...start getting to know them, and be more eager to know them. Be with them, just feel their presence. For me it's having a long conversation with them on the phone about nothing, but the minute we hang up I can't wait to talk to them again. That's a spark in my opinion. It doesn't even have to be sexual but it's nice to anticipate that part of it.

 

I think a spark can be created but there is a level of self control that people need for that to happen. That means not spilling your whole life story or all you issues to someone right away. This makes people very unattractive and it does kill that 'spark'. Are any of these guys doing this? Maybe they have the potential but don't know how to use it.

I know I little bit of mystery and elusiveness draws me in...I don't want to know everything about someone right away. I like to feel like I am someone they are 'letting in on' at a healthy pace. I think it's the same for men. We as humans tend to want what we want right now....rather than wait it out. Just be patient. Let it just happen.

[Unscrewed]

A guy I crushed on was the 'mysterious and elusive' kind. And he was a pain to talk to.

My ex was a lot more open about his life and it was more fun to talk to him.

However, I wouldn't want to deal with someone who spills all their emotional baggage from day 1. It takes some time to build trust for both parties to make that happens.

[cruzer]

i hate to bump a couple week old thread, but no sense in making a new one.

 

the last girl i seen i just had a big desire to talk to her and try and date her.

 

new girl is pretty, nice, etc. i enjoy my time with her, i look forward to seeing her again, but it doesnt feel the same as the last girl. she was laying in my arms and it felt kinda nice, i was comfortable and relaxed but i had a random thought "should i feel more". should i be like excited or something?

 

i cant tell if im just overthinking things, we have only seen each other a few times. is that desire or spark mostly physical or in my head? i guess i should keep seeing the new girl until i dont want to anymore, but i also dont want to hurt her

[Loveart]

bumping for Tinydance

[PICCOLLO]

Im 33 and have experienced undeniable chemistry twice; the type of spark that never goes away and those around you can see what you have. A cosmic force. It doesnt necessarily lead to sustainable relationships. JA0371 puts my take on it best. Taking time to know someone and learning who they are is important.

 

I find when I meet someone, my initial impression puts them into a no or maybe pile. Maybes get 5-8 dates.

[youareworthy]

This is why the bad guys win because bad guys provide the spark.

 

Again, this is why the jerks win because women insist on mystery.

 

Hi Flintstone 7,

 

It sounds like you have been through the wringer. You sound disappointed and hurt.

 

Maybe you could start a thread about your experience(s), and get some helpful perspectives.

 

I will respond to it if you do.

 

Youareworthy

[youareworthy]

Are your words the "lame pick up artist tactics," and am I the "woman who responded" to them?

 

If so, you got me there...LOL!