Abandon Ship! Something to help you all currently.

[limichelle]

Abandon Ship!

 

It's the first thing I think of when my Ten year relationship was failing. I wanted so bad to stay on the wreckage to "save" him. I wanted to be his life vest. He was irrational, angry and downright stubborn by his convictions I was to blame for him losing his mind! I wanted him to have clarity to see he was hurting me and that maybe if I lingered he would know I wasn't the enemy.

 

When you have been with somebody that long, you will feel the need to cut off your right arm to make it work.

You will keep repeating all the things that were said and done over and over.

Where you and your loved one went wrong.

 

As I was teetering on the edge of my sinking vessel realizing if I went down, I would only be hurting myself.

 

I couldn't rescue somebody who didn't want the life persever in the first place. I wasn't responsible for his unhappiness. I then out of respect and love for myself came to the realization that it was over, this was one storm out of many others we just couldn't wether.

 

It was nobody's fault!

 

It was just an end to a chapter of a story needed to be put away.

 

I wasn't being true to myself and frankly feeling sea sick over the realization I depended on him to find me.

Just like I tried to find him. We were toxic because we lost ourselves within each others demands.

 

So I abandoned ship!

 

When I look back on the memories they are hard to digest and bittersweet. All the laughter we shared, the smiles and tender moments. Those are the memories that should never be left behind.

 

I suggest you take the bad moments and forgive and one day you will forget.

 

I suggest you step back on the deck of that proverbial ship that is slowly sinking, take the good times, remember it's never anybody's fault. Also be true to yourself.

 

Just take the plunge into the lonely waters, have it wash away the old scars and renew who you are.

 

Abandon Ship!

 

That way when a new boat comes along, you are ready for the next chapter in your life.

Keep the hope this new adventure will have you sailing off into the sunset.

 

Lisa

[Realitynut]

He was irrational, angry and downright stubborn by his convictions I was to blame for him losing his mind! I wanted him to have clarity to see he was hurting me and that maybe if I lingered he would know I wasn't the enemy.

 

Lisa

 

This part of your post made me tear up....but I wanted to say...the whole post is spot on!

 

At the end, my ex would say, You made me so angry. A few months ago, he said, I love you more than I have anyone in my life, but you make me angrier than anyone has ever.

 

I never understood why. He'd be cold and pull away...and i'd get hurt...or cry. I was emotionally needy. And he'd want space. But suddenly his anger would just erupt. And then i'd be trying to cajole, and sooth, and defend myself. Which only made him angrier.

 

When he was ending things with me (after he met a woman) he said he never wanted to go thru another year, like he did the last 2 with me!

 

I thought...what the heck are you talking about? You were ALWAYS ending it with me...from the very start. Pull me close, then push me away. He would say...Oh YEah...it's not YOUR fault. You're NEVER wrong. It's always big bad Tom's fault. He'd be so defensive.

 

I just never understood where all that anger came from. Everytime he came back...i'd welcome him in with open arms. It would be great for a couple of days....and he couldn't stand me again. (he just told me that as we were breaking up...I always new he was cold and distant....)

 

So yeah. I remember the great sex. And the good times at the beginning as friends. But everything else was just a roller-coaster with me hanging on for dear life!

 

I don't know if I ever would have abandoned that sinking ship. I guess I should be thankful he met his 'kindred spirit'. As he said....:sorrow:

[jennylove]

This part of your post made me tear up....but I wanted to say...the whole post is spot on!

 

At the end, my ex would say, You made me so angry. A few months ago, he said, I love you more than I have anyone in my life, but you make me angrier than anyone has ever.

 

I never understood why. He'd be cold and pull away...and i'd get hurt...or cry. I was emotionally needy. And he'd want space. But suddenly his anger would just erupt. And then i'd be trying to cajole, and sooth, and defend myself. Which only made him angrier.

 

When he was ending things with me (after he met a woman) he said he never wanted to go thru another year, like he did the last 2 with me!

 

I thought...what the heck are you talking about? You were ALWAYS ending it with me...from the very start. Pull me close, then push me away. He would say...Oh YEah...it's not YOUR fault. You're NEVER wrong. It's always big bad Tom's fault. He'd be so defensive.

 

I just never understood where all that anger came from. Everytime he came back...i'd welcome him in with open arms. It would be great for a couple of days....and he couldn't stand me again. (he just told me that as we were breaking up...I always new he was cold and distant....)

 

So yeah. I remember the great sex. And the good times at the beginning as friends. But everything else was just a roller-coaster with me hanging on for dear life!

 

I don't know if I ever would have abandoned that sinking ship. I guess I should be thankful he met his 'kindred spirit'. As he said....

 

I had an ex who was the same way. When I became indifferent,,I realized that he was one sick pup under the mask.

[limichelle]

Hi,

It's nice to know we tried our best but realized they were never meant for our best in the end.

 

I had a friend tell me that.

 

For me it was the last three years that was hellish me clinging on to the roller coaster ride as well. The first 7 years were great. Then he snapped and came off his medications he has Scizophrenia that got really bad near the end.

 

Lisa

[dave_1966]

Abandon Ship!

 

It's the first thing I think of when my Ten year relationship was failing. I wanted so bad to stay on the wreckage to "save" him. I wanted to be his life vest. He was irrational, angry and downright stubborn by his convictions I was to blame for him losing his mind! I wanted him to have clarity to see he was hurting me and that maybe if I lingered he would know I wasn't the enemy.

 

When you have been with somebody that long, you will feel the need to cut off your right arm to make it work.

You will keep repeating all the things that were said and done over and over.

Where you and your loved one went wrong.

 

As I was teetering on the edge of my sinking vessel realizing if I went down, I would only be hurting myself.

 

I couldn't rescue somebody who didn't want the life persever in the first place. I wasn't responsible for his unhappiness. I then out of respect and love for myself came to the realization that it was over, this was one storm out of many others we just couldn't wether.

 

It was nobody's fault!

 

It was just an end to a chapter of a story needed to be put away.

 

I wasn't being true to myself and frankly feeling sea sick over the realization I depended on him to find me.

Just like I tried to find him. We were toxic because we lost ourselves within each others demands.

 

So I abandoned ship!

 

When I look back on the memories they are hard to digest and bittersweet. All the laughter we shared, the smiles and tender moments. Those are the memories that should never be left behind.

 

I suggest you take the bad moments and forgive and one day you will forget.

 

I suggest you step back on the deck of that proverbial ship that is slowly sinking, take the good times, remember it's never anybody's fault. Also be true to yourself.

 

Just take the plunge into the lonely waters, have it wash away the old scars and renew who you are.

 

Abandon Ship!

 

That way when a new boat comes along, you are ready for the next chapter in your life.

Keep the hope this new adventure will have you sailing off into the sunset.

 

Lisa

 

'When you have been with somebody that long, you will feel the need to cut off your right arm to make it work.'

 

So, why didn't you?

[nuttybuddy]

Hi,

It's nice to know we tried our best but realized they were never meant for our best in the end.

 

I had a friend tell me that.

 

For me it was the last three years that was hellish me clinging on to the roller coaster ride as well. The first 7 years were great. Then he snapped and came off his medications he has Scizophrenia that got really bad near the end.

 

Lisa

 

Oh boy... he shouldn't be off of meds unless his doctor said so. He's putting himself and others in a very dangerous situation. Well, i'm glad you're not in that relationship anymore. it would be hard to deal with a non-compliant patient.

[Jaydunno]

I can honestly relate to this post more than anything. I was and I guess still am in a roller coaster scared to jump off. All those breakups came from her within 6 years.

 

She is an emotional unstable person and I have been trying to save her from herself this whole time. I have disregarded my well being. My self-respect has been damaged, even now we are not "together" I am still there trying to save her from sinking too deep into her emotional disaster.

 

Reading this, it's like hitting a nail on my head. I know everything will be better by jumping off, but when I try to she seems to find a way back. I am in it 100% and she is 50%.

[limichelle]

'When you have been with somebody that long, you will feel the need to cut off your right arm to make it work.'

 

So, why didn't you?

 

Hi Dave,

In the end it wasn't up to me! He just couldn't handle a relationship and he was extremely paranoid of me. Still is to this day!

Believe me I tried but he closed the door.

[limichelle]

Oh boy... he shouldn't be off of meds unless his doctor said so. He's putting himself and others in a very dangerous situation. Well, i'm glad you're not in that relationship anymore. it would be hard to deal with a non-compliant patient.

 

He is on medication now from his and my last final conversation. It was very hard since I'm bipolar but take my medication and have insight to be with someone who lost all insight, he is on medication now but his illness progressed to a worse state.

[limichelle]

I can honestly relate to this post more than anything. I was and I guess still am in a roller coaster scared to jump off. All those breakups came from her within 6 years.

 

She is an emotional unstable person and I have been trying to save her from herself this whole time. I have disregarded my well being. My self-respect has been damaged, even now we are not "together" I am still there trying to save her from sinking too deep into her emotional disaster.

 

 

 

Reading this, it's like hitting a nail on my head. I know everything will be better by jumping off, but when I try to she seems to find a way back. I am in it 100% and she is 50%.

 

I'm sorry you are going through this. Please do take care of yourself, I am three years out and emotionally scarred because I didn't take care of me.

[Jaydunno]

I'm sorry you are going through this. Please do take care of yourself, I am three years out and emotionally scarred because I didn't take care of me.

 

Trust me I try and she comes around some how and even if it is just looking for her "bestfriend" (me). She is going through alot and her emotions are all over the place and I am yet still trying to make her smile. I think I hurt myself more than she is hurting with her emotional issues.