Sober48 hours. How do I do kick this habit for good?

[kevinm]

Struggling with sobriety right now. As I type this I've been sober for 48 hours. The funny thing is, it isn't alcohol I'm addicted to... it's marijuana. I live in one of the legal states, but I've been smoking pot for many years. Recently I've been quite "chronic" (always high everyday) and it got to the point where I just sit on the couch, smoke pot and watch movies. No, I'm not a kid. Yes, I have a job. I work high too. When I was younger more of my friends smoked, but now many of them have "moved on" to start families or have just decided to quit or whatever. For some reason though, I can't seem to quit. Instead I've watched my life slowly unravel over the years. I'm not the person I want to be, not where I should be in life. Not that I have grand expectations about $ or romance or anything like that... just that I should be happier. Marijuana used to make me happy, now it's a crutch. It makes me lazy and it's slowly taking my health.

 

I'm just wondering, for those who have been here before.... how did you beat your addiction to marijuana? Please don't provide related stories of alcohol/hard drugs as I believe they don't relate... well they relate, but I'm looking for specifics. Thanks everyone.

[Hollyj]

I think you would find a group of people who can relate in AA. Addiction is addiction, no matter the drug.

[avman]

There is a group called Narcotics Anonymous (NA) with a similar format to AA - just focused on addictive substances other then Alcohol. Please note there is yet a third group called Nar-Anon which is NOT the same at all. Nar-Anon is a Scientology based group which I would strongly discourage you from getting mixed up in. However NA would be a strong support group for you, you would get a sponsor, you'd have some structure with getting to the meetings, and also a good group of people to hold you accountable as you make positive changes to your life as a whole.

[ThatwasThen]

Google for an online support group of fellow ex tokers and join the discussion. Replace one bad habit with a good one. Go out for a walk, join a gym, take up a volunteer position and make doing any of those things your new "high"

 

Keep up the good work. Make yourself a goal like putting all the money you would have spent away and take a fabulous bucket list trip with your savings.

 

Good luck

[kevinm]

Appreciate the advice... I can't do NA though. BTDT. I'm not down with the whole religious aspect of it. I've heard of "rational recovery" too and that's probably closer to my beliefs. Also... and I hate to say this... but I can't relate well to many of the people who are in NA. I didn't come from a broken home, I have a college education, etc. It's not to say I'm better than they are or whatever... of course not. And I realize that addiction impacts people of all walks of life. But the meetings I can attend locally are full of 20 somethings who have been living on the street and many have had ed up childhoods. Most are meth and heroin addicts, neither of which I have experience with. Driving 2 hours back/forth to a large city would be an arduous task. This is why I feel like I need to talk to people who have a marijuana addiction. Heck, I don't even drink alcohol. No joke.

 

I'll start looking for an online group I guess.

[ThatwasThen]

You're confusing Narcaholics Anonymous with Narc-anon which is completely unaffiliated with Narcotics Anonymous... which isn't religious per se, but does point to us all having a "higher power" which ever that may be for us as individuals. It could be the Giant Willow Tree in your back yard if that is what motivates you to be the best you that you can be while clean and sober.

 

Who have you been talking to that lead you to belive that people in NA are mostly people from broken homes etc? Frankly, its quite clear that you are not well informed about the support group in general.

 

You can also get your support through online.

 

Like I said, google "kicking the marijuana habit/addiction" and find some online forums for those who are just like you... Troubled enough to allow themselves to become dependent on something that is mind/mood/motivation altering.

 

I'll start looking for an online group I guess.

Yes, do yourself that good deed at the very least.

 

Please don't make excuses for yourself to avoid actually taking any positive action to keep yourself off the ganji.

[avman]

Ok. Well you could also go to an AA meeting and see if that group is more in tune with your needs. Those programs do have a "higher power" belief as part of them. While I can understand your skepticism you might give another group a try and see if it can work for you.

 

Other options include a referral to an outpatient group for addictions. Your physician could refer you to a program in your area. There may be something more closely aligned to groups of people you feel more comfortable with. I think online help is a reasonable start - but it's no substitute for that in-person connection.

[ThatwasThen]

I could be wrong but I think that AA does not want non-alcoholics when there is a specialized support system for drug abusers???

 

Checking in with your doctor for a referral to a drug addiction programme run by your particular government is a great idea.

[avman]

It really depends on the particular group ThatwasThen. Some of them you are correct and they focus solely on alcohol. But other AA groups do not - especially because many times substance abuse can cross over from alcohol to other substances. So some AA groups are a "one stop shop" for all things addiction related.

 

Best way to find out is to talk to the organizer about your concerns and see if there is a group more suited to you.

 

 

[kevinm]

You're confusing Narcaholics Anonymous with Narc-anon which is completely unaffiliated with Narcotics Anonymous... which isn't religious per se, but does point to us all having a "higher power" which ever that may be for us as individuals. It could be the Giant Willow Tree in your back yard if that is what motivates you to be the best you that you can be while clean and sober.

 

Who have you been talking to that lead you to belive that people in NA are mostly people from broken homes etc? Frankly, its quite clear that you are not well informed about the support group in general.

 

You can also get your support through online.

 

Like I said, google "kicking the marijuana habit/addiction" and find some online forums for those who are just like you... Troubled enough to allow themselves to become dependent on something that is mind/mood/motivation altering.

 

Yes, do yourself that good deed at the very least.

 

Please don't make excuses for yourself to avoid actually taking any positive action to keep yourself off the ganji.

 

No, I'm informed. Thanks for your uninvited judgement though. Perhaps it's just my local group, but the regulars there are a bunch of twenty year old misfits that I can't relate to. Again, I'm sure this isn't representative of the whole program. If I lived in a large city I'd try another group, but I live in a small town. What is available to me locally isn't going to work. This isn't an excuse, I wouldn't be here and posting today if I didn't take my sobriety seriously.

 

The "higher power" aspect of these groups does nothing for me. I'm a deeply spiritual person, and I do take comfort in my beliefs. But I believe my addiction is a physical ailment, not a lack of or disregard towards spirituality. Let's just say I'm weird and don't pray like most people do, and we'll leave it at that.

 

Outpatient and private therapy may help, but this can be a challenge too. Living in a small town, people talk. I'd loose a lot of customers at work if they knew I was such a heavy user. I'd have to seek therapy in another city, and there in lies the same problem of travel time.

[starlight89]

I think its better to have support than to try and do this alone. AA will have older people you can relate to. I know a lot of it is religion based but you don't have many other options in your area and I doubt you will be able to do this alone

[SophieGrace]

You sound like a smart guy so you've probably already googled "support groups quitting marijuana." I just tried it and a ton of options come up. Since you live in a small town without groups around your particular addiction and you've ruled out AA, your options are limited, but at least you might find support from people who have been through what you have online. Best of luck.

[ThatwasThen]

No, I'm informed. Thanks for your uninvited judgement though. Perhaps it's just my local group, but the regulars there are a bunch of twenty year old misfits that I can't relate to. Again, I'm sure this isn't representative of the whole program.

Yes it may just be your local group. "Uninvited Judgement" None there on my part but may be just be a tad paranoia on your part. I did find your findings regarding the people that attended meetings in your town rather judgemental though, Sorry. However: It Seems you've changed those thoughts to reflect that its just you that can't relate to a fellow user (as its not the same substance that they're trying to recover from) which is less judgemental.

 

If I lived in a large city I'd try another group, but I live in a small town. What is available to me locally isn't going to work. This isn't an excuse, I wouldn't be here and posting today if I didn't take my sobriety seriously.

I didn't say you were, I just gave you the suggestion that you don't do that. Many addicts have making excuses down pat even though they give wanting to stay clean lip service.

 

The "higher power" aspect of these groups does nothing for me. I'm a deeply spiritual person, and I do take comfort in my beliefs. But I believe my addiction is a physical ailment, not a lack of or disregard towards spirituality. Let's just say I'm weird and don't pray like most people do, and we'll leave it at that.

AA may not be for you... just straightening you out on some misnomers as stated in your previous posts before your follow up post showing more clarification of what you were actually trying to convey.

 

Outpatient and private therapy may help, but this can be a challenge too. Living in a small town, people talk.

You don't think they're talking about your drug use?

 

I'd loose a lot of customers at work if they knew I was such a heavy user.

How would they find out? There is patient confidentiality in place.

 

I'd have to seek therapy in another city, and there in lies the same problem of travel time.

No you wouldn't. Why not speak to someone first and find out some actual and factual information rather then assuming and pondering things that may not even be the case?

 

In spite of your misconception about my motives for posting in your thread (judgement) I do hope you have the strength to do something to help you through this. It's pretty tough sweating it out on your own and your chances of staying in recovery are far less when you've not got the support of people that know what you're going through.

 

Good luck.

[kevinm]

Yes it may just be your local group. "Uninvited Judgement" None there on my part but may be just be a tad paranoia on your part. I did find your findings regarding the people that attended meetings in your town rather judgemental though, Sorry. However: It Seems you've changed those thoughts to reflect that its just you that can't relate to a fellow user (as its not the same substance that they're trying to recover from) which is less judgemental.

 

I didn't say you were, I just gave you the suggestion that you don't do that. Many addicts have making excuses down pat even though they give wanting to stay clean lip service.

 

AA may not be for you... just straightening you out on some misnomers as stated in your previous posts before your follow up post showing more clarification of what you were actually trying to convey.

 

You don't think they're talking about your drug use?

 

How would they find out? There is patient confidentiality in place.

 

No you wouldn't. Why not speak to someone first and find out some actual and factual information rather then assuming and pondering things that may not even be the case?

 

In spite of your misconception about my motives for posting in your thread (judgement) I do hope you have the strength to do something to help you through this. It's pretty tough sweating it out on your own and your chances of staying in recovery are far less when you've not got the support of people that know what you're going through.

 

Good luck.

 

ThatwasThen, I appreciate the fact that you're only trying to help, but I find your post both patronizing and defensive. Rather than a line-by-line rebuttal of your post, let me simply ask you to please refrain from further comment on this thread. You've made your point, I've heard you, I simply don't agree with you. Let's move on.

 

Thanks every one who has posted. I'll let your words marinade and sink in.

 

I'd love to hear from anyone else reading who might have an opinion.

[ThatwasThen]

Sorry, I couldn't help. Good luck going forward with whatever gets you there.

[Capttrae]

And these are the kinds of posts that get me in trouble on here. Everybody is being nice and suggesting this and that. I'm gonna tell you what I did to get off smoke and blow. I grew up. Now you need to do the same

[kevinm]

And these are the kinds of posts that get me in trouble on here. Everybody is being nice and suggesting this and that. I'm gonna tell you what I did to get off smoke and blow. I grew up. Now you need to do the same

 

Wow, that's some stellar advice there. Now it all makes sense... I just need to "grow up" and this addiction will end. As stated previously, I've quit before. One time for nearly two years. Was I grown up then but not now?

 

I'm not offended by your comment Capttrae, I just think it's useless. I'm glad you were able to kick your habits, wish I could do the same. But it has nothing to do with me being a responsible adult. Next time try to provide some actual concrete advice. Thanks anyway.

[IAmFCA]

Breaking a behavioral habit and a chemical addiction is very hard and requires you to pull out a spine of steel. Think of it as you fighting for yourself. You fight for others, now it's time to fight for yourself.

[Capttrae]

Wow, that's some stellar advice there. Now it all makes sense... I just need to "grow up" and this addiction will end. As stated previously, I've quit before. One time for nearly two years. Was I grown up then but not now?

 

I'm not offended by your comment Capttrae, I just think it's useless. I'm glad you were able to kick your habits, wish I could do the same. But it has nothing to do with me being a responsible adult. Next time try to provide some actual concrete advice. Thanks anyway.

 

Hey you asked for help so we tried. Quit whinning about how hard it is. The longer you whine and say you can't the longer you won't

[kevinm]

Hey you asked for help so we tried. Quit whinning about how hard it is. The longer you whine and say you can't the longer you won't

 

I'm not here to pick fights with anyone, so please stop trying. Some of the above posts are helpful, some are not. Such is the way it goes with forums. You're entitled to your opinion and I'm entitled to think it's useless or wrong. ^ This post here you made doesn't advance the conversation at all, or help in my understanding of my addiction. Frankly, you're being condescending. Again, I'm glad you've found what works for you, but without specifically explaining the details of how you "grew up" your statement is empty rhetoric. It's like saying "just do it" when someone asks for your help with something they've never done.

[mhowe]

What is your brain telling you when you reach for a joint?

*I just want to chill and relax?

*I am really stressed out and need to calm down?

*I don't want to think about my problems and need to distract myself?

 

It could be any of those or different ones at different times.

 

Examine the "why do I want one NOW?" and come up with alternative strategies to accomplish the task.

 

Need a change of thoughts...get up and go do something. Anything...a walk or run. Laundry. Grocery shopping.

 

Need a change of mood and getting out of your head? Blast some music and clean the house.

 

Looking for an endorphin high? Go to the gym.

 

You get the picture.

[kevinm]

What is your brain telling you when you reach for a joint?

*I just want to chill and relax?

*I am really stressed out and need to calm down?

*I don't want to think about my problems and need to distract myself?

 

It could be any of those or different ones at different times.

 

Examine the "why do I want one NOW?" and come up with alternative strategies to accomplish the task.

 

Need a change of thoughts...get up and go do something. Anything...a walk or run. Laundry. Grocery shopping.

 

Need a change of mood and getting out of your head? Blast some music and clean the house.

 

Looking for an endorphin high? Go to the gym.

 

You get the picture.

 

I believe what my brain is telling me when I want to smoke pot is to deal with stress/anxiety. So a distraction I suppose, for the most part. There are times however, when it was just habit or routine. I know I need to replace my pot smoking habit with something else, or many somethings. And that's part of the issue overall with marijuana from what I'm reading. It kinda traps you in time. Activities become blended and associated with marijuana. One doesn't feel motivated to try new things and get out in the world. Thanks for the suggestions.

[mhowe]

I have found when I am "stuck" in a routine that adding something new is the best.

 

One spring, I bought a paddle board. So instead of walking or biking, I would throw that on the car and go do it for a while. The focus and concentration on learning a new skill gave my brain plenty to work with and the mastery of it gave me a feeling of accomplishment.

[journeynow]

I believe what my brain is telling me when I want to smoke pot is to deal with stress/anxiety. So a distraction I suppose, for the most part. There are times however, when it was just habit or routine. I know I need to replace my pot smoking habit with something else, or many somethings. And that's part of the issue overall with marijuana from what I'm reading. It kinda traps you in time. Activities become blended and associated with marijuana. One doesn't feel motivated to try new things and get out in the world. Thanks for the suggestions.

 

You might try treating the impulse to pick up a joint as something separate from you. Impulse says "kevinm, pick me up now." kevinm "not now, Impulse, I am going paddleboarding now. Maybe later." I don't know if this would work, I'm not in the same boat, but was impressed after reading the book "My Stroke of Insight" how the author would manage her negative self-talk this way. She didn't try to squash it, but acknowledged it and made an appointment to with it to let be heard. Often times that is all it took to deal with it, but sometimes she would sit with it for that appointed hour and listen to the negative thoughts, write them out, journal, or whatever. If sitting with the impulse or journaling about it doesn't work, is there someone you could call to chat and distract yourself?

[kevinm]

Replacement therapy may be a good technique. I haven't tackled anything completely new to me in a long time. It's weird how marijuana has such a foothold in my life. It's both scary and sad. But today is day 4 and I'm still sober. Let's hope the trend continues.