Feeling down? Write it up!

[MrWhite]

Apologies in advance if a similar topic already exists.

 

Re-started my NC period today at 2am after sms exchange with my ex. Couldn't get any sleep and wasn't in the mood of watching any movies. A mix of sadness, anxiety and anger (at myself).

 

At 5am, I started a journal with my thoughts. The simple fact of writing what I was feeling and reasons for it, helped immensely. It's like exorcising the bad feelings by analysing what went wrong and why. It's also a great way of knowing ourselves if we're capable of being as impartial as possible. If we're biased (which is easy to happen), it's no good.

 

I have the tendency of analysing everything, sometimes overanalysing it. I can't just stop thinking about something that bothers me. And we all know that it's impossible to stop thinking of the ones we love and why we're no longer desired.

 

Writing what I'm feeling has had a positive effect in me. I don't know if I'll be able to get some sleep tonight but at least I'm feeling less anxious.

 

May even publish a book with all the writing!

[Blue_Skirt]

I do believe in the power of writing things down! Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by all the thoughts in my head. Writing helps me to sort out the things, to identify issues and to deal with them. I keep a journal and I write in the form of letters to a good friend.

 

I have no intention of publishing a book, but I do recommend writing!

[dustyrain]

I used to over analyse everything and i have learned that by doing that i just making myself miserable and also id be unintentionally torturing myself, if i get a thought these days (i HAD to change my thought process as i hurt myself so much from my spiralling thoughts!!) i let myself think it but if i find myself spiralling in to over analysis i stop my thoughts in their tracks-takes a a lot of practice!! Did the first NC last a long time?-nevertheless uve caught ur self and are starting again..be STRONG total NC is the only thing that helps in the long run. I suggest deleting her number and blocking it. Also any other contact source u have to ur ex delete!! u have far less temptation to contact ur ex then.

[melancholy123]

I went thru some terrible times with my brother and he was beyond cruel to me in ways I never imagined. I spent a lot of time thinking about his actions and my reactions, hoping to make sense of it all. Then I started a blog, just for myself, to put down my thoughts when they came to me. I did this for many months and in the end I printed it all out and deleted the blog. Now, 6 yrs later, I stumbled on those printed out papers having forgotten about them after I resolved to have no further contact with my brother. I read over everything I'd written, and thought about how I feel now, so many years later. It was very cathartic to have written it out in a blog and kept it on paper. I see how far I've come and the positive way my life has evolved. So I agree with writing it out when you feel strongly or conflicted about something. It really helps put things in perspective.

[MrWhite]

Did the first NC last a long time

 

A day and a half. I know it sounds ridiculous. Have to admit that the initial purpose of the NC was not my healing but instead making my ex miss me and this is completely wrong. I wrote a 1600 words text on this topic and I read it sometimes when I'm in a down moment. It helps.

 

Regarding the deletion of her contact, I'm not there yet as I don't feel it's a temptation to have it recorded in my phone. Moreover, i feel like it's a good challenge for me to have the means of contacting her but choosing not to do it. Does this make sense?

[dustyrain]

It doesn't sound ridiculous i think it's natural to hope that they come back to u and care for u. Then concentrate on it being about ur healing this time, u seem to understand it more this time around, don't prolong the hurt!!..keep imagining the feelings u felt after this last contact-u don't need to go through this ten times to realise it don't help or get things back as ud like them to be. Until its about ur healing (and be truthful to yourself) then ur going to be stuck in the past doing circles, not moving to ur future and not healing. I can understand that although it is still a branch to the past that needs to be snapped-u shall let go of her contact at a time u feel ready to.

[ForgetYourEvil]

At least you started over. The purpose of NC is for you to heal. Period. Don't respond if she reaches out. Move on. Walk away. Never look back. And be with someone who won't do the sh-t she did. Learn from this.. heal. I'm here for you.