You never realize how free you feel until after the heartache!

[limichelle]

Hi,

 

My name is Lisa and I was with my ex for a total of 10 years! The last three I honestly stayed even though things changed so drastically because I didn't want to give up on "us". Really there was no more of us and our relationship was slowly dying. We both suffer from a major mental illness. He was having a relapse and a bad one from stopping his medication. Bad idea! I thought I could fix him or save him. His family started to resent me!

Instead of blaming his illness, I became the scapegoat. They thought his major anxiety and depression was my fault.

He even started blaming me. So for three years I put up with more then I should have. I cherish the happy memories but the toxic times have to go from my mind!

 

It's been four months since our official breakup. I found a new guy I'm talking too online who I'm meeting in April. There is no contact with the ex and I, I prefer it that way. Really I had three years of grieving and getting over him. I tried breaking it off with him during that time but we would find ourselves in the same unhealthy rut.

 

My ex got relationship anxiety really bad, then phone phobia! The final straw was him calling me up and blaming me in detail for messing him up. I realized then you can't rationalize with an irrational person.

 

I never got full closure but I realize I never will and that is okay.

 

I was 22 when I met him and then 33 when we broke up. I always suffered from low self esteem.

 

Although I'm finding myself again!

I'm working on losing weight, I'm talking to somebody who motivates me in a positive direction, I'm going back to my spiritual beliefs.

 

What I'm trying to say is once you free yourself from trying to change someone, or the negative energy. Once your heart heals, you see how truly free you are.

 

I take the good times, the wisdom of what I learned.

 

Thanks for letting me share.

 

Lisa

[ParisPaulette]

Lisa, thank you for a wonderful post that I hope others in a similar position will take to heart as an encouragement to hang in there.

 

Wishing you nothing but success in life and yes, when you let go of toxicity and move past the pain into healing you do indeed realize what freedom really is. Your post made me smile. Thank you.

[alc16]

Thank you for posting this. "You can't rationalize with an irrational person". I needed this in my life and I didn't even know it until now.

[mhowe]

Don't know about you....but I tend to avoid unconscious people. Hard to keep a conversation going.

[JA0371]

So true......trying to change someone can actually become an addiction in itself. Thus making the 'fixer' as sick as the other person. Vicious cycle!!

 

Thanks for posting......best of luck to you in your next venture!!