He wants me to stop talking to him forever..:/

[brilyn027]

My ex and I had our share of a rollercoaster relationship. After a while of not talking, we would be civil again and we got along like friends would. The thing is, I always had feelings for him since the day I met him. And I didn't even mention trying for a relationship again. He said he wanted to try. He did this twice and initiated it both times. But also, when he said he wanted to try again, he changed his mind a day later. I always analyzed and thought too much. I got so mad at him at times just for thinking of the reasons why he would want something one day but decide not to the next. I said things I didnt mean and I think that's what pushed him over the edge with me. After deciding not to try again, I blew up his phone a week later just asking questions. He ignored them for the most part.when he was visiting his brother, we argued and he got mad that I texted him and said he didn't want to talk to anybody. That was 4 days ago. Since I calmed down and got over everything, I texted him today and apologized for arguing with him and that doing that while he was visiting his brother was very disrespectful of me and that I hope he had a good visit. He said "stop". And I said "why you saying that for? I was just apologizing. Thats all" and he said not to text him again..ever. Cause he cant put up with my mood swings and its safer for both of us if we never speak again. And asked if id respect his wishes and cease talking to him. So I just said "forever?" And he said "yes" then I said "goodbye". And that was that. That just broke my heart in ways that I cant even describe. He meant the world to me. Though I've said things I didnt mean and he admitted he did too. But he accepted my apology and wanted to part ways. How do I get over someone that made such a huge impact on my life? I feel like he's just "dead to me" now. I dont understand what he meant by "mood swings" but I can't deal with him not being in my life anymore. I dont know how I'm going to cope with this. It hurts too bad to ignore it. I got over the relationship that never worked out but we were good as friends when he didn't want to "try" again. Do they ever come back and talk to you again, even if its years from now? I dont know how I'm going to move on. I feel like I'm in a nightmare. Im so heart broken. I thought things would be okay if we just gave things time to cool down like we usually have. He was the last person I wanted this to happen to because hes such a great guy. I dont know what to think. All I can do is cry. And I can't stop. Please tell me what I can do to heal and move on? This pain is just too much

[mhowe]

By mood swings he meant saying things you didn't mean. Saying you didn't want to try again --- and then blowing up his phone. Then calming down. Then getting angry.

 

In order to heal and move on, please delete all his info from your phone, computer, etc. Block him on social media so you are not tempted to check up on his activities. Reconnect with your friends and focus on school and the upcoming holidays. If you find yourself focused on him, put a timer on for 5 minutes. When it goes off you MUST get up and go do something. Anything. Go for a walk, call a friend and DONT talk about him, do laundry.

 

You need to wean yourself off your focus on him.

[melancholy123]

He's told you to stop contacting him so you need to do that. Block him on your phone, facebook, etc. Dont waver on this. Let yourself get over him. If you truly can't cope, get some counselling.

[greta96]

First things first, you need to stop acting crazy, because I'm sorry to say, but you are bordering on "obsessive" territory and that's very scary to men.

When someone tells you they don't want to be with you, or change their mind about being with you from one day to the next, you need to listen and walk the other way. You don't hope they'd change their mind, and you don't beg. You don't settle for less than you want, just to have them in your life. You let them go and don't look back, even if your heart is breaking and you wish things were different.

 

He made it very clear that he wants no contact from you, so respect that. It's over, there is nothing you can do. The one thing you can do is make sure you never do the same with the next guy you meet.

[ParisPaulette]

You need to go full NC, block and delete him, and move on. This guy has jerked you around repeatedly, blown hot and cold on you, and then you flip out on him and then accept his gaslighting you that it's your fault that things are off between you.

 

This is not a healthy relationship and doesn't sound like it ever was. I'm sorry, but people like that will drive you insane with their own insanity--i.e. it is not normal for him to break up then say, "Let's try again" then a day later say nope again. That should have been your cue the guy is into crazy making and you instead played right into his crazy making.

 

Get free, cut him out of your life for good, he's into games, not a sane respectful relationship. It's time to walk away and do better for yourself.

[Movingforward3]

Stop being the crazy exgirlfriend. As hard as it is, go no contact. It is difficult to let someone you love go, but the constant contact isn't helping you. Focus on you. Have fun and live your life.

[Waraqqa]

This guy has jerked you around repeatedly, blown hot and cold on you, and then you flip out on him and then accept his gaslighting you that it's your fault that things are off between you.

 

This is not a healthy relationship and doesn't sound like it ever was. I'm sorry, but people like that will drive you insane with their own insanity--i.e. it is not normal for him to break up then say, "Let's try again" then a day later say nope again. That should have been your cue the guy is into crazy making and you instead played right into his crazy making.

 

These lines could've been said to me, indeed! These type of guys exactly do what they want because they do not care as much, and knowing that you do, take advantage of your emotions to present things as if you're crazy and that was the problem. One of the helpful things I find it specifically focusing on the fact that he does not care about me. Because if he did, he wouldn't have jerked me around or blown hot/cold. A man who loves and cares is consistent. So, if he doesn't, at first it is painful to think about it, but the more you actually dwell on the fact that he doesn't care about you, the more you get used to it, and then acceptance starts to sink in, and you no longer expect anything from him, and therefore it becomes more "normal" to view that it's over, and much less regrettable. Because if someone does not love you and does not care about you, why would you want them in your life? You don't. You just think you do because of your attachment, which needs a bit of time to dissolve, that's all.

[DoF]

You would be a complete to remain friends or have ANY kind of relationship with your Ex. The only exception to this rule is children, and if that's the case, the relationship should only be "child only". Nothing less, nothing more.

 

Why you might ask? 2 HUGE reasons:

a) you will never heal/get over him/recover and be ready for new relationship

b) no decent/smart man in their right mind will ever EVER consider a lady that has relations/friendships with their ex (would you?)

 

So stop sabotaging yourself.

 

cut him off, give it 3-6 months to heal/get over and prepare yourself for a new relationship.

 

It seems to me like your EX has realized/learned this himself (perhaps) and is taking steps to do it. Now the big question is, are you as smart?

[Dottieflanogon]

Time to go NC and move on.He made it clear that he no longer wants to speak to you ,contacting him any further would be inappropriate.

 

Sorry for your hurt

[brilyn027]

Actually, I'm not that upset anymore. I thought about it. And everyone is right. I dont know why I made myself an option. I dont know why I stuck around. Perhaps because he filled my head with garbage of false hope and empty promises. I thought I was obsessed with him and for a while I thought I was actually crazy..thats because I really was! He blew hot and cold. Telling me he wanted to try again and backed out, wanted to try again and backed out..and he KNEW for a fact exactly how I felt because I told him. Blowing hot and cold can make anyone crazy who it happens to. He was destroying me. My emotions were all over the place when he decided not to try and that made me hurt and angry. Then when he wanted to try, I was happy and felt alive. I didnt love him. Maybe I did at first because he really was a good guy before the hot and cold. But I just love the idea of him. I had kept telling myself "he'll come back" every time he left. And he did. I'm not worried about it anymore. Either he didn't know what he wanted or I was just the doormat. Of course he cant keep up with my "mood swings". He cant even keep up with himself. Either way, his relationships will never work out being the way he is. By the time he sees that I've worked on myself and that I am an amazing person he didn't give me the chance to be, ill already be moved on with my life so his loss.