agent1607307371 Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 but why would she change her mind and then date me.. Stay in the relationship for 8 months.. I don't get it. Btw I appreciate all the posts on here, you guys are huge help! This is an awesome forum. Because you flattered her. You made her feel good. You gave her gifts, and trips, and all kinds of things that can turn someone's head. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 It was my idea all of those things, she said she didnt even care about going on the trips Of course she would say that! She's not going to tell you she's using you for money, gifts and trips! And it sounds a little bit like you may have been trying to "buy" her love. The relationship is unhealthy and would never have lasted. Be thankful you are no longer sinking money into a woman who doesn't love you. Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 Because you flattered her. You made her feel good. You gave her gifts, and trips, and all kinds of things that can turn someone's head. Thank you makes so much sense. Man you guys are the . Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 Of course she would say that! She's not going to tell you she's using you for money, gifts and trips! And it sounds a little bit like you may have been trying to "buy" her love. The relationship is unhealthy and would never have lasted. Be thankful you are no longer sinking money into a woman who doesn't love you. Today I called her and told her I felt like she used me and she had nothing to say about it.. Then I apologized on text and said sorry for saying that then told her we should just both move on. btw thank you boltnrun! Link to comment
boltnrun Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Today I called her and told her I felt like she used me and she had nothing to say about it.. Then I apologized on text and said sorry for saying that then told her we should just both move on. btw thank you boltnrun! OK, no need to text her again. Especially not to apologize! You're not hoping to get back together with her...are you? Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 OK, no need to text her again. Especially not to apologize! You're not hoping to get back together with her...are you? No I have no more energy for her.. Not right now I don't see it possible. She showed me her true colors. I miss her , I guess I really just miss the idea of her. She was an ugly person. She was ugly not on purpose but subconsciously. She was raised like that. She took me for granted. She will realize what kind of amazing guy I was. She was lucky to have a guy like me as her first boyfriend! Her first everything, first kiss.. etc.. Link to comment
CarolinaKid336 Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 I will get over here no doubt, I will not look back. We all deserve to be treated right. Why settle for less! Life is too short to be unhappy and for ty people to toy with your feelings because they are unsure of theirs. No I have no more energy for her.. Not right now I don't see it possible. She showed me her true colors. I miss her , I guess I really just miss the idea of her. She was an ugly person. She was ugly not on purpose but subconsciously. She was raised like that. She took me for granted. She will realize what kind of amazing guy I was. She was lucky to have a guy like me as her first boyfriend! Her first everything, first kiss.. etc.. I just read this other post, dwelling on the opportunity for them to come back will only hinder us from moving on. It's a possibility to reconcile yes but you will already be moved on and it's hard for someone to change who they are even after maturing a little. If you're anything like me then you were always a good person with morals, them not so much. So they'll constantly seek people that compliment their shallow needs., I'd wanna here your success story after you've moved on since our stories are similar Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 I just read this other post, dwelling on the opportunity for them to come back will only hinder us from moving on. It's a possibility to reconcile yes but you will already be moved on and it's hard for someone to change who they are even after maturing a little. If you're anything like me then you were always a good person with morals, them not so much. So they'll constantly seek people that compliment their shallow needs., I'd wanna here your success story after you've moved on since our stories are similar We will get through this! They did us a favor because they mistreat us yet we stayed! Heck we would have been more hurt overall and miserable than being broken up which we will overcome in such short time!!! They don't deserve people like us. We are just shocked that they turned out like that and we can't accept reality because of the imagine we thought they we're!! Link to comment
CarolinaKid336 Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 I will get over here no doubt, I will not look back. We all deserve to be treated right. Why settle for less! Life is too short to be unhappy and for ty people to toy with your feelings because they are unsure of theirs. We will get through this! They did us a favor because they mistreat us yet we stayed! Heck we would have been more hurt overall and miserable than being broken up which we will overcome in such short time!!! They don't deserve people like us. We are just shocked that they turned out like that and we can't accept reality because of the imagine we thought they we're!! Yea we idealized them to be way more than what they really were. We gotta have the mindset that whether they come back or not we could care less. It's easier said than done but each day will get easier. But these post are really therapeutic to here others going through similar issues Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 Yea we idealized them to be way more than what they really were. We gotta have the mindset that whether they come back or not we could care less. It's easier said than done but each day will get easier. But these post are really therapeutic to here others going through similar issues check your email brother! let's get thru this Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Because you gave her money, took her to Paris, and who knows what all else. She used you, sadly. And you gave her attention. Unfortunately, the fact she wasn't attracted to you never went away. But didn't you get something out of it? Validation? You chased a girl and WON her. Sex. Companionship. You both got something out of this. Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 And you gave her attention. Unfortunately, the fact she wasn't attracted to you never went away. But didn't you get something out of it? Validation? You chased a girl and WON her. Sex. Companionship. You both got something out of this. I didnt really win anything, I wanted her heart. Sex and all of that was just a plus.. I sometimes feel like I should have been less available and less giving.. I beat myself up on the what if I did this or that instead.. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 I sometimes feel like I should have been less available and less giving... That would probably have cut this relationship shorter much sooner. At the end of the day, you can't buy love. Some things are cliches because they're true. Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 That would probably have cut this relationship shorter much sooner. At the end of the day, you can't buy love. Some things are cliches because they're true. I thought she truly loved me tho.. she would call me in the morning to tell me good morning and say she loves me.. Im looking back at all the times I had with her, I miss her guys. I feel hopeless. I lost the one girl I truly loved, I wanted to marry this girl I wanted to spend my life with her.... She was beautiful and so innocent. What do i do guys..... Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 She tells me she still loves me and cares about me but doesnt want a relationship now because of school.... Link to comment
saluk Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 I thought she truly loved me tho.. she would call me in the morning to tell me good morning and say she loves me.. Im looking back at all the times I had with her, I miss her guys. I feel hopeless. I lost the one girl I truly loved, I wanted to marry this girl I wanted to spend my life with her.... She was beautiful and so innocent. What do i do guys..... You thought wrong. It happens. She's not relationship material. You have to stop looking back and start looking forward. What do you do? Stop putting her on a pedestal like she was this amazing woman and you'll never be happy with anyone else! Because that crud is not true. She wasn't even that great, you said so yourself in your opening post! She was beautiful (which is really not that important, and there are millions of beautiful girls out there) and you THOUGHT she was really into you. She wasn't! Take some time to work on you and separate her from your mind. Don't talk to her anymore, she will probably allow it but it's not healthy for you. Eventually you will be in a place where you will be ready for something else, but if you don't work on yourself and your self respect you may find yourself in the same pattern of falling too quickly for someone who is not good for you. Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 I feel like it was my fault all the fighting.. I guess I was always complaining because she never showed me love even if she says she did. I never thought she would leave, I wish she left me months ago.. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 She used you for money, trips and gifts. That is not love. What are you going to do, buy her a car? A house? A yacht? Just to try to keep her? A woman who truly loves you will not require you to empty your bank account in order for her to give you love. Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 She used you for money, trips and gifts. That is not love. What are you going to do, buy her a car? A house? A yacht? Just to try to keep her? A woman who truly loves you will not require you to empty your bank account in order for her to give you love. I should have bolted and run! In the beginning she was good tho before all the trips and stuff... She texted me few days ago after a week of no contact and said " I still care and think about you I want to know how you're doing sometimes " We talk on the phone then she says she still loves me but can't have a relationship right now because of school. Pretends we're together says she misses me. She's very weird. I don't understand.. I had to cut her off. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 She still "cares and thinks about" your bank account. She probably wants money or another trip to Paris. I certainly hope you stopped giving her money. Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 She still "cares and thinks about" your bank account. She probably wants money or another trip to Paris. I certainly hope you stopped giving her money. That is the sad truth, I really have to accept that. She was cool in the beginning.. I guess I only pulled her in with the money. She genuinely cared for me sometimes tho.. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Why are you still talking to her? Are you hoping to "win" her back? Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 Why are you still talking to her? Are you hoping to "win" her back? No bro I cut her off. She wanted to stay friends and said " we're not getting back together " It was hurtful but I appreciated the honesty. I wanted to see her one last time just out of respect to have closure in person but she didnt want to. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Well, that is the best decision. Be prepared for her to contact you again. She won't give up the money and trips so easily. Don't allow her to use you anymore. Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 Well, that is the best decision. Be prepared for her to contact you again. She won't give up the money and trips so easily. Don't allow her to use you anymore. I'm sure she truly cared for me.. One time I didnt answer the phone all night as it was on silent and she was crying all night. Called the police to my house to make sure I wasnt dead lol. I had surgery that night. She used to crave for me to come to her city and hang out with her. I can't tell if it was the money or she truly cared because there was both... Link to comment
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