h0pelessl0ver Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Last year at my best friend's wedding, I met this girl she visited from another city to attend the wedding. She was my best friend's wife's cousin. We spent the whole month together she was my date for the wedding.. I instantly fell for her and gained feelings for her. She then went back to her city.. We stayed in contact and talked everyday, then 2-3 months later I told her I liked her but she said she didnt see me that way. I later then told her I couldnt be her friend because she didnt have feelings for me. She didnt want me to cut her off and said wait until we meet in person again " i want to see if my feelings for you are there ". so she ended up coming to the city and we ended liking each other, we made out she said she wasnt ready so she dumped me, 2-3 days later she begs for me back so I take her back. She's 19 I'm 23 if that helps. We date.. I take her to places and she was always ungrateful complaining about things. One time we booked a trip to Paris and she complained and told me " was there any options for the hotel " when it was a 5* she read one bad review of it and complained.. One time she came to my condo and complained said it didnt feel like home, that I didnt have ac.. Many times she was ungrateful yet I never gave up on her. She was not affectionate at all, didnt show any appreciation, I would even send her money just so she wouldnt go to work while she's in school. I always felt like I was chasing her even during the relationship which made me become controlling...This is a long distance relationship and I told her I didn't like how she would go clubbing.. One time she told me if you don't let me go to the club I would break up with you, so I broke up with her because i felt threatened. Days later she begs for me back and I take her back because she thought she was doing the right thing.. She was very spoiled, she was an only child her mom gave her everything.. She was always alone at home growing up, her dad was never really there for her.. I think that may have a big role in the way she was acting when I was dating her.. At one point I broke up with her because she would listen to her friends and believe what they are saying. I tried to get her back the next day I apologized but she didnt want to take me back because she said she was tired of all the fighting.. said I was too controlling.. I could have broken up with her many times but I chose to stay every single time because I loved her. I told her not to text me or call me she said she will respect that but tried to call me 5 Minutes later I didnt answer.. a week goes by she texts me " I still care and love you I want to know how you're doing here and there " I thought she wanted me back but she says she doesnt want a relationship right now. I'm confused I don't know what to do. Link to comment
CarolinaKid336 Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 I just got out of a relationship with a younger girl. They're too young to know exactly what they want, not all,but most Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 It sucks especially when you invest so much but I guess it's better to get out now than to invest more and feel worst later! I gave this girl the world but she didnt see what she had infront of her. I was her first boyfriend, I did my best.. Link to comment
CarolinaKid336 Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 It sucks especially when you invest so much but I guess it's better to get out now than to invest more and feel worst later! I gave this girl the world but she didnt see what she had infront of her. I was her first boyfriend, I did my best.. I invested a year in my girl, gave her everything. But she just wanted to party, she is also 19. My suggestion is older women or girls past the party phase Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 I just read you're thread and it sounds exactly like my situation lol! They will realize later on in time bro trust me! Link to comment
CarolinaKid336 Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 I just read you're thread and it sounds exactly like my situation lol! They will realize later on in time bro trust me! Part of me hope they do but once we move on then it won't even matter. do what I'm gonna do, work out so other girls can eat their heart out lol Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 Part of me hope they do but once we move on then it won't even matter. do what I'm gonna do, work out so other girls can eat their heart out lol It sucks brother but we will pull thru this... Ungrateful people will always learn when it's too late Link to comment
CarolinaKid336 Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 It sucks brother but we will pull thru this... Ungrateful people will always learn when it's too late They say it's usually when you stop caring that they try to come out of nowhere. Good news is one thing will always be a fact, if they were a miserable person with you and you treated them well then they will be miserable without you. Good character goes further than childish games Link to comment
saluk Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Yeah, no. You couldn't pay me to date someone who is like this. You shouldn't need to give your girl the world even. Just a nice big slice of YOUR world will be enough for someone who is right for you. Be careful in being too trusting of your feelings in the future - feelings tend to not be based on whether someone is good for us. You fell too quick, which could be avoided. Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 Yeah, no. You couldn't pay me to date someone who is like this. You shouldn't need to give your girl the world even. Just a nice big slice of YOUR world will be enough for someone who is right for you. Be careful in being too trusting of your feelings in the future - feelings tend to not be based on whether someone is good for us. You fell too quick, which could be avoided. Even if she was ungrateful I still loved her, I know we arent perfect but it just sucks that she gave up when I never gave up on her.. Even when she messed up i took her back " Link to comment
Tayla92 Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 All you've listed about her are the negatives, so this is partly on you because you kept going back to her and not standing your ground once you broke up with her the first time. You know all this about her, yet you stayed because you 'love' her but love sometimes is not enough when you're not exactly compatible. Link to comment
saluk Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 She never reciprocated your love. You were infatuated at the beginning, and you let your idea of her control how you felt about her rather than taking the time to get to know who she really is. At every point, you kept telling yourself you could live with it, because of that idea in your mind of who you thought she was, who she could be, rather than the real live person who was standing in front of you. She is more than just ungrateful - despite what she might say, she doesn't care about you the same way you do for her. Don't you deserve someone who is all in, who will give as much as they take? Instead of someone who doesn't know what they want - sometimes they want you, sometimes they don't. She will never make up her mind. The pushing and pulling will probably destroy you - it's already started to. "I told her not to text me or call me she said she will respect that but tried to call me 5 Minutes later " She does NOT respect you. Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 All you've listed about her are the negatives, so this is partly on you because you kept going back to her and not standing your ground once you broke up with her the first time. You know all this about her, yet you stayed because you 'love' her but love sometimes is not enough when you're not exactly compatible. That's true, I held on for nothing.. I thought she would be who I thought she would be in time.. It just hurts when the other person gives up on you. Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 Thank you that really helped me.. Im starting the process of moving on. Hopefully she doesnt run to me again as that would make me weak. Link to comment
saluk Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Thank you that really helped me.. Im starting the process of moving on. Hopefully she doesnt run to me again as that would make me weak. You are as strong or as weak as you are. Certainly, more attention from her will test your strength! Build yourself up for that possibility. You crave attention, but you deserve affection. Don't sacrifice the second to achieve some small amount of the first. Link to comment
CarolinaKid336 Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 All you've listed about her are the negatives, so this is partly on you because you kept going back to her and not standing your ground once you broke up with her the first time. You know all this about her, yet you stayed because you 'love' her but love sometimes is not enough when you're not exactly compatible. That's a good point, but I see where he's coming from. Love makes you question your better judgement Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 I will get over here no doubt, I will not look back. We all deserve to be treated right. Why settle for less! Life is too short to be unhappy and for ty people to toy with your feelings because they are unsure of theirs. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 but she said she didnt see me that way. And then you just kept on coming at her... Seriously, next time someone tells you they're not into you, believe them. It doesn't matter that you "gave her everything" she didn't want you. If you'd stood back from the situation for five seconds, you would have saved yourself a lot of bother. I could have broken up with her many times but I chose to stay every single time because I loved her. The way you word this it sounds like you think you were doing her a favour. But she was very obviously not into you. Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 And then you just kept on coming at her... Seriously, next time someone tells you they're not into you, believe them. It doesn't matter that you "gave her everything" she didn't want you. If you'd stood back from the situation for five seconds, you would have saved yourself a lot of bother. but I kept trying and eventually got her.. Do you think the fact that she didnt want me in the beginning played a role in break up bro? Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 but I kept trying and eventually got her.. Do you think the fact that she didnt want me in the beginning played a role in break up bro? I think the fact that she didn't want you really for most of the relationship is what did for it. You shouldn't have to chase someone down like that. Once you treat someone like a prize, they're going to act like that. She knew you were into her more than she was into you and took advantage of it. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 And then you just kept on coming at her... Seriously, next time someone tells you they're not into you, believe them. It doesn't matter that you "gave her everything" she didn't want you. If you'd stood back from the situation for five seconds, you would have saved yourself a lot of bother. The way you word this it sounds like you think you were doing her a favour. But she was very obviously not into you. OP, this post nailed it. Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 I think the fact that she didn't want you really for most of the relationship is what did for it. You shouldn't have to chase someone down like that. Once you treat someone like a prize, they're going to act like that. She knew you were into her more than she was into you and took advantage of it. The way you word this it sounds like you think you were doing her a favour. But she was very obviously not into you. but why would she change her mind and then date me.. Stay in the relationship for 8 months.. I don't get it. Btw I appreciate all the posts on here, you guys are huge help! This is an awesome forum. Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 Also she texted me few days ago and said she still cared and loved me but doesnt want a relationship... Link to comment
boltnrun Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 but why would she change her mind and then date me.. Stay in the relationship for 8 months.. I don't get it. Btw I appreciate all the posts on here, you guys are huge help! This is an awesome forum. Because you gave her money, took her to Paris, and who knows what all else. She used you, sadly. Link to comment
h0pelessl0ver Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 Because you gave her money, took her to Paris, and who knows what all else. She used you, sadly. It was my idea all of those things, she said she didnt even care about going on the trips Link to comment
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