waiting

[aldstra]

I've been dating my boyfriend since I was 18. I am now 25. We had agreed to wait for marriage until we got a house which was tough for me. Going on 6 months after getting out house I am still waiting. We have a 1 year old. I love him so much but I am seriously frustrated. Most nights he sleeps on the couch unless I bring to his attention I'm lonely. I feel like I'm begging him though he says I don't need to. I am over ready for this though the waiting makes me so angry sometimes that I think twice. There are nights he goes out to drink with his buddies after I go to sleep. I'm not sure if this is inappropriate. Its not terribly often. He just gets to go and I'm always with the baby. I'm not really sure what advice I'm looking for. I just feel very frustrated tonight. I wonder if it is worth the wait, or if I just keep waiting it will end up bad. We fall apart so often. I just don't know anymore.

[melancholy123]

Women mature faster than men, so you are likely further ahead than he is in that regard. The male brain isn't fully developed til age 25 so he's just getting there. Because you have a child you are stuck being the responsible one and he's still hanging with his buds. You need to decide if he's worth the wait because it may take longer than you'd like for him to be ready to settle down. Would your life be better or worse without him?

[aldstra]

It would be more lonely. My child would have split parents like I did. Though I have overwhelming feelings of anger there's also overwhelming feelings of love. Our communication isn't very good, and he doesn't talk about his feelings much unless he's getting mad. We both work full time and have a child. Its stressful, we need new vehicles. He is 28, and ide like to think marriage is soon. He is just hard to read, he keeps saying I didn't say I wasn't going to marry you. I spoil him, I cook, I clean, laundry, dishes, I play the housewife. So this might be my fault. All in all we make a good team. We have built a good life. Its not perfect, but who's to say it would be better if I left? There's really no knowing.

[SooSad33]

A relationship takes time.. and work.

Always make sure you have time for each other. Maybe arrange a date night.. away from child for you both?

 

Always make sure you work on communication, there's trust and respect towards each other.

 

Not sure if you should keep pushing Marriage on him? Sounds like you've only been in your home a few months. Don't want to push him away with those expectations.. to where he 'feels pressured'.

 

Maybe just keep on working on what you've got for now.. especially if YOU are starting to feel some frustrations as well...

 

If you've got some issue's arising now, marriage is NOT going to fix that.

 

Give it some time.. a few more months and see how things are going. Just lay back a while and keep working on the relationship, communication, etc.

 

Why does he sleep on the couch? Does he fall asleep watchint tv, etc?