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My Ex is Happy but I'm Depressed..

Timeless Space

By Timeless Space
in Dating Advice

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Timeless Space Rookie

Timeless Space

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Well, me and my ex broke up about a month and a half ago. (Right before summer ended) In a couple of days, it was supposed to be our one year anniversary. This probably might sound really ridiculous, I'm 16, and people tell me at this age, I don't know what love is. Yes, I probably don't, but I felt like I really was in love with him. I felt so special around him and really, really happy. It was great, he was like my best friend/partner. I'm just really depressed that we're no longer together, even if it was a short amount of time. Anyways.. I'm having a hard time moving on. He seems to be doing a lot better without me. I wouldn't text him for a couple of days, he texts me. A couple of times he would start saying he hates me, that I'm too much, that I'm annoying, that everything I do infuriates him, etc etc. He put me through so much, he cheated on me twice (that was my fault for staying with him, it was foolish of me to do), yelled at me whenever he was under stress and was upset, take his affection away whenever I made a little mistake. My friend told me to leave him, that he was a piece of , that he's tormenting me, and so on. I loved him and still do, and I still stayed.. I couldn't help it, because it felt like I was leaving a part of myself behind. I should've listened to her, but I didn't because I was so focused in the good than the bad. Nowadays, I've been feeling so damn empty. He would text me saying how happy he is, that he's making new friends, and that he's doing much better. But when he was with me, he treated me like , disrespected me so much,telling me he wanted to kill himself. I stayed with him anyway, I couldn't necessarily help him when he was depressed/suicidal, but I would try. I'd keep pushing him forward,telling him I'm so glad he made it this far, that he can keep going. I'm glad for him, but it hurts me so much. I don't have anyone to talk to but him. I tried to socialize more with people, but even so, they would ignore me. Even know, he tells me he wants to end his life, that he doesn't want to be alive..but..he always talks about his female friends (I try my best to not get jealous, and act mature about it) and that he's doing other things for people. He's better now. I know he no longer has feelings for me, but I still have feelings for him but I can't seem to move on. It's so difficult.

 

I apologize if this seems confusing and if it's too long.

 

Thank You.

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Loriana Collaborator

Loriana

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Hi Timeless,

 

This guy honestly seems pretty unstable and he doesn't sound the nicest of guys and you can do a lot better.

 

You are 16 you are still young and you still have plenty of time to meet the right guy and he will come along when the time is right.

 

I know you think now you will never find another guy again, but you will I promise.

 

I think the best thing for you to do is cut all contact with him if you can, but I know that will be hard if you are in school together. You don't need someone in your life who is going to keep telling you they want to kill themselves. You don't need that kind of emotional stress.

 

If he says he wants to kill himself again please confide in a trusted family member or teacher about this because it sounds like he needs a lot of help.

 

Good luck to you.

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Loriana Collaborator

Loriana

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I've been trying my best to, but lately it's kind of hard. You know when you have someone that you just can't resist contacting back? I try to ignore him but for some reason it's difficult.

 

I understand I used to have this problem when I was your age also.

 

I used to still keep in contact with guys that were no good for me because a part of me thought maybe one day he might wake up and realize it's been me all along, but that rarely happens lol. I just think you need to realize that this guy is no good and that you can do better. That's the only way that will stop you from contacting him.

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Timeless Space Rookie

Timeless Space

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I think the same way sometimes! But what's really holding me back is that he used to motivate me so much. He's doing much much better than he ever was with me. I get a little jealous that he's super happy with others while I always had to take his . I always see him tagging all his friends in posts and just doing better than I am. I know this probably sounds really screwed up, but it's a bit hard.

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notalady Mentor

notalady

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I think the same way sometimes! But what's really holding me back is that he used to motivate me so much. He's doing much much better than he ever was with me. I get a little jealous that he's super happy with others while I always had to take his . I always see him tagging all his friends in posts and just doing better than I am. I know this probably sounds really screwed up, but it's a bit hard.

 

You need to stop comparing how you're doing to how he's doing. You don't know how he's doing since you're not really in his life anymore. Social media almost always project a happy image but sometimes couldn't be further from the truth.

 

How he's doing is really none of your concern anymore. You need to work on getting your life back on track and become happy yourself, rather than focus on how someone else is happy and you're not.

 

Also you need to block him in all places possible so that you no longer have contact nor see his updates. It's bringing you down. Especially his continued texting to say mean things to you, that's unacceptable. Blocking is the only way you can truly start to move on with your own life.

 

He is not a good guy and you dodged a bullet. Consider yourself lucky and next time don't put up with guys who disrespect you (eg cheating, saying mean things to you even after you broke up). Remember, it is a choice you make, you can in fact help it.

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emma olivia Newbie

emma olivia

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Hi Timeless,

 

This gentleman genuinely appears to be really precarious and he doesn't sound the most delightful of fellows and you can improve.

You are 16 you are still youthful regardless you have a lot of time to meet the right fellow and he will go along when the time is correct.

I know you think now you will never discover another gentleman again, however you will I guarantee.

I think the best thing for you to do is cut all contact with him on the off chance that you can, however I realize that will be hard in the event that you are in school together. You needn't bother with somebody in your life why should going continue letting you know they need to slaughter themselves. You needn't bother with that sort of passionate anxiety.

 

In the event that he says he needs to slaughter himself again please trust in a trusted relative or educator about this on the grounds that it sounds like he needs a considerable measure of assistance.

 

Good fortunes to you.

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