I broke up with him because he wouldn't marry me or have children

[mhowe]

A victim or a victor? I am both.

 

You are neither. You made a choice to stand by your values....should have been a victory. However, you did it to try and manipulate your ex. That doesn't make you a victim because he didn't respond to the manipulation.

[kate111]

I am a victim because I was strung along for 8.5 years.

[sargon]

I am a victim because I was strung along for 8.5 years.

 

Ok that's fair.

 

Keep that in mind as memories of him begin to recede further and further from your mind over the next weeks and months and you slowly but steadily extinguish thoughts of him coming back and the two of you marrying and having children and living happily ever after.

[mhowe]

I am a victim because I was strung along for 8.5 years.

 

You could have walked away at any time. Because you didn't enforce your boundaries and values doesn't make you a victim. You chose to believe his words and not his action. He never even proposed....

[kate111]

You could have walked away at any time. Because you didn't enforce your boundaries and values doesn't make you aviation. You chose to believe his words and not his action. He never even proposed....

 

 

Yes and that means I am not a victim. It was all my fault.

[mhowe]

It is your responsibility to live by your own values. After 4, 6 8 years...what did you think would change.

[jobelle]

I just can't believe how judgmental some people are. And how some people find it even remotely helpful to gang up on someone who is already down. Although I doubt the "helpful intentions" part behind certain comments.

 

OP is entitled to have hopes just like the rest of us. Accusing her of being selfish and manipulative for hoping and judging her feelings? Seriously. Some people need to get a life. Or rather - if your life choices are as perfect as you lead us to believe why are you spending your days on this forum judging people? I would assume you have better things to do in real life?

[Fudgie]

Kate,

 

For your own good, I advise that you work towards moving on. Even if he did change his mind on a dime, do you really think that's genuine? To have someone do a 180 on some of life's biggest choices so he can have you back? You risk two things: 1) him going back to his old ways and 2) you marrying and having a child with him but he is not 100% into the idea. That's not fair to the child!!

 

Please, for your own sake, let go of false hope and move on. I know it's hard but you can't pine for him and wish for him to change his mind.