Holding on Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 So I have been doing some soul searching for a while as I have been invited to a wedding for a friend. The issue is that my ex is also invited and I am not sure it is a great idea or not. I really would like to go to support my friend and a lot of my friends will be in attendance, however truth be told I am not entirely over my ex and am afraid that seeing her will set me back in the healing process. We had a 4 1/2 year relationship and is the first time both of us were in love. I thought I had been in love before but this was the first time I felt unconditional true love. She broke up with me a year ago out of the blue and I have been struggling throughout the past year coming to terms with it. We have been in LC at first, NC the past 5 months, and 8 months of not seeing each other. I've been doing all of the right things working on myself, seeking therapy, etc. but I was holding onto false hope over the entire past year that we would reconcile. I found out earlier this month that she started seeing someone 4 - 5 months after our break up who she describes as 'the one' and she is madly in love with him. I was truly crushed at the news and have been going through a tough few weeks letting go of all hope and feel a lot better but I don't want a major setback. I also have heard that her bf is not attending, which would make it easier but I am still not sure.... Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 I think the wedding is a time to offer your love and support to your friend and not focus on yourself. You can attend and be civil to your ex. You surely will have plenty of other people to talk with. Link to comment
alli Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 I agree with mhowe. Go to be there for your friend. Try not to actively look for your ex when you are there. Link to comment
Movingforward3 Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 The best revenge is to show how well ur doing without ur ex. If u don't show, don't u think this is worse? Link to comment
j.man Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 If there's an open bar, I'll go in your place. But seriously... if you feel close to this friend at all, I'd go. I'm sure you'll have to catch a glimpse of the ex at one point or another. If you're otherwise indifferent about the friend or the wedding, then I wouldn't worry about it. But even more seriously... let me know if it's open bar. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 I have been at plenty of weddings where I wasn't able to catch more than a minute with my own family, let alone friends or an ex. So go - its possible that she won't show up (conflicting plans, overthinking it). Maybe she will. But you don't have to initiate any contact. There are plenty of others to talk to. Just don't overstay your welcome and be one of the remaining drunk out of their mind people lingering after the last song. Eat dinner, mingle, and leave before the witching hour if you feel uncomfortable. Link to comment
SpottiOtti Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 If it is a very close friend, I would suck it up and go. If it's an acquaintance who you haven't talked to in more than three months, I wouldn't bother. However, in both cases lies the opportunity to prove to yourself that you can do this, that you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Link to comment
Snny Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 So I have been doing some soul searching for a while as I have been invited to a wedding for a friend. The issue is that my ex is also invited and I am not sure it is a great idea or not. If it makes you feel any better... I was a bridesmaid for a friend's wedding where my ex was invited. I had a restraining order on him previously because he mailed me death threats (and he was a full-trained Marine... not like I would have a shot of defending myself in a physical altercation against him). It expired and I was nervous he would try to pull something on me at the wedding. The best revenge is to show how well ur doing without ur ex. This. My good friend told me told me the same advice, and it is the greatest advice ever! My ex just stared at me and came off as a creep, but I had my friends, husband, and several rounds of drinks to keep the good times rolling to even care about him sulking at a faraway table. I even "Act the Fool" and just said hi to him... he walked out with a pissed off look that made my entire night XD Just relax and have fun. If you are able to, hang out with people you know and drink a lot. Consider yourself lucky if your friend is having a large wedding because you will hardly ever notice her. Link to comment
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