Husband's prior porn use a problem for the future of our marriage?

[ThatwasThen]

Also agree with abitbroken on the reasons for hubby's porn usage (he's not going to have any "release" for a long time right before and after labor) and password protecting your phone with kids- I'd be embarrassed too if I were the OP.

I Agree with your on topic POV.

[Unreasonable]

Snny, I agree with you that they probably shouldn't be handing their phone willy-nilly to their kid in a restaurant. But you can't deny that children often mimic their parent's behavior (who I'm guessing are in their phone quite a bit). That's indisputable and you don't need a kid to know that. I will tell you something though, a phone shuts a kid up. Now, maybe you think kids shouldn't be allowed in restaurants, but I'm also pretty certain you don't like screaming kids in the booth next to you.

[Lucia Amman]

 

As to the other posts - my apology as I think this is "your" view on porn. Both my hubby and I have agreed that its not good for "us" and that to move forward with out it. My main point as I am not a man (a few male friends who have slept with a LOT of women viewed my issues as - hubby was just immature. Porn is not their thing as the more women they slept with the more porn didn't have an effect on them - as they like getting girls "real thing" in bed.

 

I just didn't know what someone who has viewed porn most of their life and has had their family and friends think its not a bad thing will do in the future - if any of you have experienced that in your relationships.

 

 

Haha I'm pretty sure I'm a female. In a very good relationship. And watching porn. What's the issue?!

I've had more sex partners than you have had and YES I still watch porn. Seriously. I don't see why the 'real deal' should be even compared to 'watching porn'. It's totally not the same and one thing doesn't exclude the other. I would even go further and say that when I'm at a sexual peak and enjoying real sex a couple times a day/week/month I'm watching MORE porn than when I'm sexual deprived. Why? Because I find porn more enjoyable when I'm having actual sex too. I find porn a good cooling down as well as a good foreplay. So there you go. Healthy sexual female talking here.

 

Give your husband a break and let him enjoy his porn. It might spark your real sex too if you let it.

 

 

Completely off topic but I've to say it too: my ex had a porn addiction and thát was a problem. The difference is that it takes over your life and it became an obsession. I will not go into depth about it. But watching porn is fine. If you think it's an addiction of his than take other steps.

[tattoobunnie]

I have the major hots for my husband, but sometimes, I just want to quickly get off, and will watch porn while masturbating. It's like 2 minutes of my life, and does not affect our sex life. I'm not interested or have the hots for the people in the video. It's just a fantasy, that pertains to no one. I just get off! I think you just need to understand masturbation is not a substitute or even a close comparison to making love to your partner. But people do get horny, and just wanna masturbate. No harm done.

 

I think he didn't tell you because you were the one that say porn in a relationship is the devil. What you should focus on is not porn, but the fact that he didn't feel comfortable telling you that he watched it once in a while. Sounds like you judge him, and make him feel bad about being himself.

 

Congrats on your pregnancy! I'm due 3rd week of November, and sex with hubby at the moment, not so comfortable, but I'm am horny, so, yeah, I masturbate real quick with PORN. Sometimes we watch soft porn together, and it's fun to see the silliness.

[BigKK]

I think this is different for everyone but personally I've found that watching porn will reduce desire and intensity of orgasm. I read a few things and cut it out...and found sexual satisfaction and fulfillment to go way up. I am also a bit of a hornball so I can't always contain myself...but I will see that after watching some porn and masturbating sex is still good...but it's not toe curling, I want to rip off your clothes, and make you cry good. (from a too intense orgasm )

[abitbroken]

I am not going to defend porn - I don't agree with it either. But I do defend the point that you married this man with knowledge of his use of it going into it. You can't marry someone to change them. I would argue whatever points about not having it easy for children to access - that he MUST change. But other than that - the other change will only happen when he wants it to.