Holidays with opposite sex friends

[Lucia Amman]

Last night I had a small conversation with my SO and I'm still wondering about it in my head. A friend of mine just went on a vacation with her best friend, who is male, for a full week to a foreign country. Her SO stayed at home with their child.

 

I don't know all the details. But I will admit I was quite surprised. Her best friend also once was a flirt to her and they had a very brief (sexual) relationship together. Now she is happy with her SO for years and I know he was completely alright with her and him going on a holiday.

 

I've always thought I was totally ok with everything. So I was a bit surprised that I thought this was quite odd. That's why I discussed it with my partner. We went through his female friends and I could only come up with two (out of six) female friends I would be ok with if he went on holiday with them. But I also know the chance of that happening would be highly unlikely.

 

Now that I slept over it I think I will be alright if he had any significant reason to go on a holiday with one of his female friends and not with me. I just can't come up with one.

 

How would you feel if your SO goes on vacation with a friend of the opposite sex?

[SpottiOtti]

I don't think I'd be okay with it, unless I knew the friend very well, the friend had consistently demonstrated respect toward our relationship, and I was 100% certain there was nothing there to worry about.

[Fudgie]

The fact that the best friend was a bit of a flirt and they had a relationship in the past would make me go "hmmmm".

[Seraphim]

Neither of us could conceive of doing that.

[bulletproof]

I'd be okay with that. I trust my bf and would want him to trust me as well.

[Doc Blaze]

I actually used to go on vacation with my best friend(female best friend)...we would take weekend trips to NYC ...we always invited her bf but he never wanted to go...so we went...nothing ever happened between us but we have been friends for over 16 years now with no nothing sexual or anything liek that invovled.

 

 

as for me and my gf..idk..she doesnt really have a lot of close guy friends soo if she randomly just brought up going ona week vacation with a guy friend it would throw a yellow flag to me but i dont know if she would even do something like that because i know she would be against me doing this with my female friend now..when i went on vacation with my female friend i was not with this gf...

[indea08]

Nope. Not happening. For either of us. I wouldn't even ask him if I could.

[Lucia Amman]

I actually used to go on vacation with my best friend(female best friend)...we would take weekend trips to NYC ...we always invited her bf but he never wanted to go...so we went...nothing ever happened between us but we have been friends for over 16 years now with no nothing sexual or anything liek that invovled.

 

 

as for me and my gf..idk..she doesnt really have a lot of close guy friends soo if she randomly just brought up going ona week vacation with a guy friend it would throw a yellow flag to me but i dont know if she would even do something like that because i know she would be against me doing this with my female friend now..when i went on vacation with my female friend i was not with this gf...

 

So now you just don't go on a holiday with your friend because your girlfriend wouldn't like that? It's out of the question to do so?

 

Shouldn't one be able to do things without their partner? It seems lots of people just say 'no'. What if your partner wants to go on a holiday with a friend from the same sex? That would be ok?

 

Does it feel inconvenient? Is it not done? Is it about trust or society? Would you feel cheated because SO has fun with someone from your sex? Or is it because the potential? Or is it because your friends and family might ask questions about it?