"Guys do not get off from handjobs"

[Mun]

If guys do not get off from hand jobs then that is really bad new for me because I love to use my hands

 

I wonder if all this jealousy and anxiety is preventing you from really letting go and enjoying the sex... and that might mean no orgasm...just a thought.

[Caldus]

Yeah I mean you have no idea what is going on in his head for sure. So just take it easy and relax while doing it. Although I do think it's quite selfish of him to not take care of your sexual "needs".

[Beec]

Whether or not he gets you off or not is not really the issue about him being selfish.

 

I've known women who had real difficulty having orgasms during most sexual activities. One ex could only get off with oral, never during intercourse. Another gf has never had a clitoral orgasm except when she uses self-service, although she claims and appeared to have gotten off via g-spot stimulation during intercourse.

 

But with every woman, I know I've put in some effort to try to get her to orgasm. One had issues with my beard during oral, so I tried a dipiliatory on it, which burned. The one who got off only by oral, always got oral. I can understand instances when a woman may not orgasm. But if I were the guy, I would be trying to find ways to change that. It's the lack of effort and concern that bothers me about the circumstances.

[Princess777]

I apologize for being late with my reply, I don't visit as much as I used to as I am going through a divorce right now and wouldn't be much good to anyone. I will give you my thoughts.

 

I think the answer to your question is twofold.

 

One, people who are great lovers are not that way by design. They are made. It comes from a lot of experience and situations and feelings and a combination of the ability and willingness to learn and try new things without being so immature that you just "feel silly" trying to act like you know what you're doing. As a person gets older, they naturally become a better lover because they have more experience. Hence, your boyfriend cannot get off by YOUR handjob at the MOMENT because you have not had enough experience in that category of sexual activity and he is not graciously offering to help out, he is just being selfish and tactless. He is more concerned with getting himself off than he is about nurturing your sexual relationship into something that could blow his mind. The rewards you two could reap as a result of better communication and maturity are astounding. As a woman gains experience, she will become a totally different person in that sense, meaning, she will not be embarrassed about asking him what feels good, does he like it this way, trying new positions and techniques until she figures out what makes his toes curl. And he, in turn, will gladly respond because he will finally figure out that, "Wow, I could have MUCH better sex if I quit being selfish and just communicate with her and have fun trying to please each other." He believes that he cannot get off with a hand job because he's never had anyone do it RIGHT. Yes it can definitely be done, it's rather easy if you know what you're doing. Same with blowjobs, they're so easy to do to make the guy come in a matter of minutes but most women don't have a frigging clue what they're doing. You can learn to make any guy cum in a very short time, every time, without fail, with a bj or a hand job. By the time you're as old as I am, you'll know what feels good to them AND it is really not difficult at all. Believe me, it all will come with TIME. And it's awesome when you have that confidence in the bedroom.

 

Two, I think you have some jealousy problems and need to try to fix that. That part is NOT easy. He is not helping by looking at porn. Unfortunately, men are visual creatures. You HAVE to realize that his looking at porn does not mean that he doesn't find you attractive. Men like to look at different bodies and activities that are sexual because they are men. They are wired that way, they cannot help it. BUT they can help doing it in front of you or rubbing it in your face, etc. If he wants to look at porn, it's almost useless to try to stop him, at which point, you need to decide, "do I love this guy enough to accept him with all of his faults that bother me" because if you don't, you need to let him go. He's not going to change so don't even waste your time trying.

 

I hope I've helped some. Try reading some sex books and sexual fantasy books so you can learn more about the endless possibilities of pleasing EACH OTHER.... not just him!

[ForAnother]

See unlike most guys here, I do get off from HJ's. I don't lik them much however, I feel like, "Hell I can do THAT." Maybe have him start and say that you want to hold it when he's about to finish?

 

MAKE SURE you stop when he is finishing orgasm... cuz then it begins to hurt for some reason.

 

O_o

 

ForAnother

[Morky]

When I was young, 17 or so, my girlfriend would tug by rope frequently and get me off. Even once while I was driving. But today is a different story. She can yank for an hour and all I will get out of it is a sore willy

[Day_Walker]

I can say that HJ's dont do too much for me. It takes knowledge of what the guy likes in order for him to get off on a HJ. Most women arent willing to put in that much effort and find that head is much easier and more pleasureable to the guy than a HJ.

[clodhopper]

I give my guy handjobs all the time, and he usually gets off... in the cases when he hasn't, he just gets really excited and we end up having sex instead.

 

But yeah he gets off from handjobs... he really seems to enjoy them, and I enjoy putting in the effort to make it good for him. I asked him if they were pointless cuz he could do it himself and he said it's not the same, he doesn't cum as much when he does it himself and it's not as intense apparently...

 

anyway just thought I'd add that so you ppl out there know it's possible and can be very good!

[jmh1216]

I have never had a problem climaxing with self-masturbation, but when it's someone else doing it, I might find it a little more difficult (especially if I'm not excited to begin with). That's because I masturbate in a particular way and I find it's hard to teach someone the subtleties of how to do it. You have to be really sensitive and it can take a little while to learn what makes it feel good. Otherwise you might just be making it tickle, and that sort of gets in the way!

 

If it doesn't work for him, you don't have to give into anything. Ask him to self-masturbate. You can turn him on while he's doing it (I like making out or having my nipples sucked) and IMO it's just as fun! It's not quite the same as doing it yourself -- when someone else does it, you can relax, and just be receptive -- it's different, but self-masturbation *can* be just as good.

[Jecto]

I for one, represent the population of guys who find it harder to orgasm from handjobs, and oral, but it might just be me, because I take longer to have an orgasm in general, although my G/F doesn't mind if I let her have two before I take mine.

[Jecto]

yeah, but I guess I just don't feel as much, down there, it might not be the same with other guys, sorry for double posting

[aphrodite24]

My bf doesn't get off from me giving him a hand job or oral sex, but he enjoys it nether the less. It turns him on when I please him in such a way. And because it takes him longer to orgasm, I can have several, and it makes him work harder to see how many he can give me before he reaches his release.

[lilcityshrty]

well if your doing a handjob make sure you use lube, otherwise its just a painfull tugging.

 

you dont need lube and with out it if done right it wont just be painful tugging.

 

my ex bf said that it hurt when i did it to him but thats because i wasnt doing it right. guys do this to themselves almost everyday. sometimes more than once a day. so if it doesnt hurt them then why was i hurting them?? some guys do need a lube but some dont. i learned how to do it on my current boyfriend because he told me how to go about it and he said it was so amazing that i did it better than himself.

 

i know thats a weird thing to ask your man, "hey how do i give you a hand job?" but actually when you ask them how they want to be pleased some might find it arousing like my man did. i went to go do it to him and he said "ouch!" so then i got discouraged and hes like here put your hand like this and go like this while holding my hand and "demonstrating".

 

try that... if that doesnt work... then oh well his loss not yours.