jtbdh4 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 General question: let's say someone is confused about things and they break up with someone, despite the fact that the person made them feel good and everything. The breakup is cause by confusion of feelings more than anything. Break up was amicable, no hard feelings, door is left open for reconnecting. Would that person going on dating sites to see what's out there or date others ever influence them wanting to try again with a person they ended things with? Link to comment
mhowe Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 No. It would mean they are looking for someone else to date. Link to comment
Realitynut Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Not ALWAYS!!! Nothing is ever written in stone. After my break up with my fiance...i was in a gas station crying my eyes out. A guy there i had never met before, told me he was married. but he had dated her when he was younger....broke up for a year...dated others, got back together...apart....tested the waters so to speak. He said he wanted to BE SURE!!! He never wanted to think...what if. After a few years...and they both had dated others...they got together and are married. I thought he was lucky she stuck around. But he said he new then that he was making the right choice.... It's a matter of maturing...and both being on the same page at the same time.... Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Not ALWAYS!!! Nothing is ever written in stone. After my break up with my fiance...i was in a gas station crying my eyes out. A guy there i had never met before, told me he was married. but he had dated her when he was younger....broke up for a year...dated others, got back together...apart....tested the waters so to speak. He said he wanted to BE SURE!!! He never wanted to think...what if. After a few years...and they both had dated others...they got together and are married. I thought he was lucky she stuck around. But he said he new then that he was making the right choice.... It's a matter of maturing...and both being on the same page at the same time.... It's important during such a time to let the old relationship go, so that until you're back together, it feels as if you're broken up. Link to comment
mandeelove Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I def agree with that. Sometimes dating other strengthens the fact that the original person was the best for u. I mean obv noone wants someone back after they "tested the waters" but it does happen....maybe it was bad timing or they are commitment phobes. once u get back together it could be better than the first time because u dont want to lose that person ever again. Only a bad experience in dating can do that though. Theres always a risk they actually fall in love with someone and you werent meant to be. Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Nope. My ex has been on dating sites ever since we broke up. It's not going well for him and he still hasn't tried to reconcile. The best thing you could do is move on with your life. It's hard and it will take time. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 I don't think comparison shopping is ever a good sign. I do know of couples who take a break and don't date others to experience life without the other and then reconcile after time has passed because being apart (but loyal!) showed them what was missing from their lives. If you need to comparison shop and we're not talking about high school sweethearts who met at 13 and never dated anyone else, and here they are 18, then no I don't think it means anything about wanting to reconcile, it simply means "I'm not that into you because I am still wondering what else is out there". Now, of course, years later the couple might get back together but not because one or both sampled what else was out there. My husband and I broke up for almost 8 years and dated other people but for me it was never about comparing and that wasn't why we broke up. I didn't feel right about us back then, I date and was involved with other people, I moved on, and many years later when we both had changed considerably, things were right between us at that point. If someone tells you he/she wants to date other people because she wants to compare and test her feelings, wish her well, assume she is just not that into you and move on with your life. And if she returns "well I met no one else who compared to you!" then do NOT take her back. All that means is she has not yet met that person. If she returns and says "I made a mistake in trying to comparison shop and if you can forgive me I would love another chance. (again I assume we're not talking about teenagers here). Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.