klvd Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I'm 23, bf is 27. We've been together around 8 months and holy cow do I love this man and am grateful for what he has brought to my life but man can he be mean and bring me down.. This last month I've been "ignored" for porn on 3 occasions. One night I let him know I was in the mood but he was "too tired" so I eventually gave up and went to sleep only to be awoken hours later to him needing a place to get off on because he just watched a bunch of porn. Ok you watched porn next to my sleeping self after I told you I wanted sex.... Whatever i let him get off on me, expecting some four play for me since i was in the mood after all as since he did wake me Up late but instead he went to bed. I never said anything about it but it bugged me Next instance, we hadn't had sex all week which is... Well was weird for us, i wanted it all week too, I was all over him but work had him tired so I got turned down a few days then he finally promises me we will have sexy time that night. We are in bed watching tv and he starts watching porn on his phone by himself, again it irks me I'm hurt that I've been waiting for sex all week and he is laying next to me watching pron... but I let it go. It's just porn. After like 30 min he shoved my head under the blanket, blew his Load quick and then went to bed.... Leaving me horny and alone. Last time, we took some adderall Tuesday, ended up staying up all night unable to sleep. We decided to have sexy time but knew it would be hard for him on addys so the plan was to watch a little bit of porn together and then give eachother oral. We knew that would get him hard. Well he browsed porn from (and I'm not exaggerating with the time. This is real) 9pm until 7:50am .... I asked him several times to pick a porno already and give me some attention. I layed next to him literally all night waiting...he even took his phone pee with him. 6 rolls around and he again just sticks It in to cum and is done. Takes like a 40 min break from porn all the while I'm complaining about needed to have sex or an orgasm. I said I'll get myself off if you just find a decent porn you know I like and love on me and talk dirty to me. He says ok, spends 40 min lookin at porn by himself again, gets off again and then has to leave.. I got myself off 3 min after he left.. But it gets better, he gets home at 5pm, from 5- almost 10 he sat in the kitchen and watched porn. I asked several times for him to stop and Give it a break already but he didn't. I woke up around 4:30am and he was next to me watchin porn... I said "seriously!? You're disgusting" and rolled back over to sleep... Well he blew a gasket and told me to get out. (We live together) Some things to mention is that we did have a wonderful sex life. I mean, amazing!!! And also I'm fine that he watches porn, I watch it too on occasion but I think he's crossed a line and he's hurting my feelings. It's hard to feel sexy or wanted when you know your boyfriend has drooled over hundreds of butts and boobs in the last few hours and nothing else Link to comment
klvd Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Also I'm attractive so it's not like I don't turn him on bc I definitely do but I just can't believe he broke up with me because im hurt about his behavior w porn lately. Like yeah i said you were disgusting but that's how I feel, sorry I was hurt and had an attitude. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 He is addicted to porn. And nothing you say or do will change that. Time to move on. Link to comment
weathergirl Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 OMG....ick! I hate to be this blunt..but it appears he has turned you into his little "wh*re" rather than a woman to respect and adore...at least sexually. How are/were things outside the bedroom? Link to comment
relevart Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Don't confuse being attractive with being a turn-on. If this was all the OP was about, I could go on for some paragraphs about that, but it's not, so I won't. Apparently you two live together after knowing each other or being together for 8 months. What I think happened is that you have found out he's really kind of a jerk. Maybe he's addicted to porn, maybe not. I find most times when we try to label someone as an addict, what we really mean is they are a selfish duck. (And, no, I don't mean duck.) If he's really addicted or not, or if his lack of attention is due to something else, I'm not sure it matters. He'll probably be a blip on your radar screen in a few years. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 He is/was also addicted to opiates (see other threads). This relationship is a dead end. Time to move home. Link to comment
happy_snapper Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I think you're better off without him. There are plenty of much better men out there. Link to comment
Unreasonable Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I like porn as much as the next guy, and that's messed up. There's NO way you can say watching porn for 11 hours straight is healthy. NOTHING 11 hours straight is healthy. I don't like to throw out the addict label either, but I do think it's possible to become addicted to any enjoyable activity. Some more constructive than others. And I do think he's a addicted. He sounds like he has an extremely addictive personality. Link to comment
happy_snapper Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 You keep talking (in your various threads) like these are your problems. This guy has some serious problems and I don't think you need to feel apologetic at all. Did you actually apologise to him for being hurt because he's ignoring your needs, watching porn right next to you when you want to have sex and (if I understand right) forcing you to give him a blowjob once he's ready to finish? I don't see how anybody could blame you for being hurt. Personally I'm shocked that you aren't absolutely livid. I expect he's going to want you back at some point. Don't fall for it. Move on and find someone more normal. Link to comment
Hoagy Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Porn won't keep him warm at night Porn won't laugh at his jokes Porn won't give him a child Porn won't care when he loses his job Porn won't pick him up from the airport Porn won't look after him when he's sick On the other hand, porn will give him a well developed right arm Link to comment
weathergirl Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 You keep talking (in your various threads) like these are your problems. This guy has some serious problems and I don't think you need to feel apologetic at all. Did you actually apologise to him for being hurt because he's ignoring your needs, watching porn right next to you when you want to have sex and (if I understand right) forcing you to give him a blowjob once he's ready to finish? I don't see how anybody could blame you for being hurt. Personally I'm shocked that you aren't absolutely livid. I expect he's going to want you back at some point. Don't fall for it. Move on and find someone more normal. Well yeah he is gonna want her (or her certain "parts") back ....unless he enjoys getting off by himself. Who knows ... he may become addicted to that too...many guys are. Link to comment
No1 Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Is it the same type of porn or just all over the place? Maybe he is not attracted or not that into you anymore. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 One would assume it is several types of porn, as 11 hours of watching the exact same type of stuff --- might get boring. Or tiring. Link to comment
Clinton Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I like porn as much as the next guy, and that's messed up. There's NO way you can say watching porn for 11 hours straight is healthy. NOTHING 11 hours straight is healthy. I don't like to throw out the addict label either, but I do think it's possible to become addicted to any enjoyable activity. Some more constructive than others. And I do think he's a addicted. He sounds like he has an extremely addictive personality. I think 10 hours straight is ok though. At least I hope so. Link to comment
No1 Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 One would assume it is several types of porn, as 11 hours of watching the exact same type of stuff --- might get boring. Or tiring. If its your fetish, you can watch it all day and never get tired of it. What might sound tiring to us might not be to someone else. Example, if a person likes watching BDSM porn and that is your fetish, you can find hundreds of hours of porn on that specific fetish. So its not like watching the same loop over and over. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 If its your fetish, you can watch it all day and never get tired of it. What might sound tiring to us might not be to someone else. Example, if a person likes watching BDSM porn and that is your fetish, you can find hundreds of hours of porn on that specific fetish. So its not like watching the same loop over and over. Ahhh, I get it. Just interjecting a bit of levity. Link to comment
No1 Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Ahhh, I get it. Just interjecting a bit of levity. Here is what I think and why I was asking. So help me out Ms Howe and see if this makes sense.. If the porn subject is all over the place, foot, domination, bdsm, anal, group, gang bang and so on, then he just loves porn. It doesnt matter what he is watching, and it doesnt mean he doesnt love his GF, to me it says "Im a porn addict" If he is watching a specific porn like fisting, then he is filling a specific need that the current GF can not fulfill or he believes that she is physically unable to do. Then the relationship is doomed because no matter how much love is in their relationship, she can never fill that one specific need. Personally, I think the relationship is doomed but it could be for different reasons. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Last time, we took some adderall Tuesday, ended up staying up all night unable to sleep. Where does "adderall" fit into this scenario? Link to comment
weathergirl Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Here is what I think and why I was asking. So help me out Ms Howe and see if this makes sense.. If the porn subject is all over the place, foot, domination, bdsm, anal, group, gang bang and so on, then he just loves porn. It doesnt matter what he is watching, and it doesnt mean he doesnt love his GF, to me it says "Im a porn addict" If he is watching a specific porn like fisting, then he is filling a specific need that the current GF can not fulfill or he believes that she is physically unable to do. Then the relationship is doomed because no matter how much love is in their relationship, she can never fill that one specific need. Personally, I think the relationship is doomed but it could be for different reasons. I might be inclined to agree with you had he discussed his "needs" with her and asked how she felt about participating in that type of sex to satisfy that need. That's not what he did...after watching his porn for several hours and ignoring her, he would then use her various "holes" thereafter to get off. Apologies for the crudeness of my comment but go back and read her OP. There was no love making, no affection, no desire to satisfy her...he just pulled her down, she got him off via oral, then he went to sleep. Or he would just climb on her... stick "it" in...get off and go to sleep. Link to comment
No1 Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 If its a fetish, sometimes its hard to discuss directly. One might hint or suggest and if its especially bad one might never discuss it at all. Its hard to sit your partner down and say "hunny, what would you say if I brought in a dog?" Somethings are just better left unsaid. I say either way, this relationship is doomed. Link to comment
klvd Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Where does "adderall" fit into this scenario? That's why we were awake from 9pm to 7am and why we used the porn to get him hard. It's hard to get hard on adderall Link to comment
klvd Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 I'm open to just about anything when it comes to him. I even agreed to a threesome down the road. He watches a lot of big butts and anal and double penetrTion.. I have anal sex with him and I have a big butt and I even said we could consider dp even though Im not not the idea. I meet his needs sexually... Except I have and always have had a hard time orgasming Link to comment
Clinton Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 This thread is becoming reminiscent of a certain creature who lives under a bridge Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 That's why we were awake from 9pm to 7am and why we used the porn to get him hard. It's hard to get hard on adderall Does this mean you're both using "adderall" as a recreational drug? If so, there is more than just a porn issue here. Link to comment
No1 Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Yeah, Im out.. No1 has left the building... KLVD: bottom line he is not doing anything for you. He is a "pump and dump" guy. If you dont mind, then stay in the relationship, if you dont like being secondary then leave. Link to comment
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