I'm Gay And In Love With My Best Friend Who Is Giving Me Mixed Signals

[Omar567]

Hey everyone, my name is Omar and I'm a 22 year old Arabian guy who is gay and only out to my family and no one else

 

I'm deeply in LOVE with my straight best friend of 8 years (he's Arabian too) and he's basically the most handsome guy I've ever seen, he gets complements from girls about how good looking he is and all that and I couldn't agree more

 

Anyway, I knew I was in love with him when every time I looked at him, I would smile and even a text from him can make me stay up all night (I don't know why)..

We moved in together 3 months ago and since our parents are cool with each other, there's was no need to convince them and stuff like that

He brings girls over to the apartment anyhow and has really loud sex with them that I can hear it from my room and I must admit , it does make me jealous and angry that he's only into girls

So basically, my feelings for him had grown so much that I didn't know what to do, I did try telling him at one point that I was gay and that I loved him but I was scared that he may be weirded out and may possibly never talk to me again

 

Although, this one time, he came back from work and immediately went to my room and laid on my bed (I wasn't sleeping because I was waiting for him to come back to our apartment but as soon he walked into my room, I closed my eyes and pretended that I was asleep), he then shifted closer to me and started cuddling me, I then said "umm..what are you doing?" , he just said "Shh, just keep quiet" and I did and we slept like that throughout the night.

The next morning, I asked him if he was drunk (because that behaviour was weird) and he bluntly said "No, why?" ,and I just said nothing. He asked me if it was about the cuddling stuff and I nodded and he said "don't worry, it didn't mean anything, I'm not gay" and he left the house

 

As if that was no weird enough, Last two weeks ago, we did movie night at our place and invited our closest friends and he picked a very scary horror movie and I hate horror movies like crazy

Anyway, we offed all the lights and it was super dark and I think about 10 or 11of our friends were there and I was sitting close to him on the couch

During the middle of the movie, something scary happened and I let out "oh " in a low tone but I think he heard me because he then told me to cuddle with him and I did and he whispered in my ear "don't be scared, I'm here" and I looked at him and smiled and he smiled back (I love his smile)

After that day, he continued with his usual ways of bringing girls over to our apartment and banging them.

One night after he finished with his "session", he came to me and said

"I'm a ,aren't I ?" ,and looked at him and smiled and said "yeah you are" and we then both laughed,

He randomly said "kiss me", I looked at him shocked and I said "what?", and he repeated what he said.. I then decided maybe I should tell him I'm gay, maybe after that he may not want to kiss me

I told him that I was gay and he bluntly said "I know", I was really shocked by this and i asked him how he knew and he said "I see the way you look at me, the way you smile at me and the way you touch me" he then added " I love you" , I was shocked by this and we did kiss but not for a long time

 

I taught that after our conversation, we would be romantic to each other but he just continued having sex with girls and we're only talking about the girls he has had sex with and he acts like nothing ever happened and it's so annoying

 

So is he playing with me?

And why do you think he said "I love you"

[lukeb]

Maybe he does have issues, maybe he just likes the attention, bottom line is he is a waste of your time. The way he treats you, I think he is a sorry excuse of a human being, I hope in time you will realize that. Maybe your friend is just too young and stupid to realize what he is doing but you need to know that you deserve much better than him.

[Xylitol]

Well, seeing how the arabic culture is much more difficult. The fact that he kissed you means he is gay too. So all the girls might just be a pretense. If i were you i would just give it more time to develop. He seemingly clearly has feelings for you. However i advice you to keep cool and not get your hopes up to high. He might really want to have sex with you one night, if so do get some protection due to him having sex with so many girls, only god knows what std he might have.

[Omar567]

Thank you for your comment and I agree with you and thanks again for saying that I deserve much better than him

Although I wish he would stop having sex anyhow

[Clio]

It sounds to me that he is in love with himself i.e. a narcissist. You may want to google what that is. He loves the fact that you are in love with him.

 

However, look at his lifestyle. Regardless of whatever his sexuality may be, he is heavily into casual sex with multiple people. Even if you two were to become sexually involved, I think that it is very unlikely that he would settle for a monogamous relationship. He would probably get bored and move on to someone else (boy or girl) after a while. He is too young and immature for a commited relationship, especially since he is so good-looking and has so many options. I know full-well how physical beauty can be so captivating but you also need to consider his actions. It sounds to me that this is a guy who goes around breaking young girl's hearts and there is nothing beautiful about that.

 

When you see someone who is ok about hurting other people (girls or boys), treats other human beings as expendable/repleacable items, and even brags about it, always remember that they have the capacity to do that to you too - past behavior is indication of future behavior. You sound like a nice guy. I think that you would be better off finding someone who is as sentimental as you when it comes to relationships. This guy, regardless of his sexuality, is a player who views people as disposable and his beauty gives him the confidence that he can get away with it. He is not relationship material.

[Omar567]

Thanks Clio,

You are definitely right, I think the looks are getting to him and I can't have feelings for someone who may not be faithful if we were to start dating

Thanks again