iwishiknew Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 I have always been single and it sucks especially during the holidays. Every year I have relatives come over and they always ask me the same dumb questions all the time "Are you dating anyone?" "Sooo do you have a gf yet?" "What are you waiting for? When are you going to get a gf?" It is annoying! I hate being asked those dumb questions all the time. I wish I can say yes so they will stop asking me, but of coarse if I say yes, then they will ask when are we going to meet her? Can I see her pic? Either way it is a no win situation for me. I don't understand why people ask those personal annoying questions? It is uncomfortable for me being asked those annoying dumb questions all time. Link to comment
relevart Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 The issue seems to be prying family and friends moreso than not having a SO. Being with someone isn't always all it's cut up to be. If you don't believe me, take a look around these same forums. typically you will find someone to be with at the moment you least expect it and at a time you may not even be looking for it. For instance, I was ranting to a friend in the spring of 1994 that I would never find someone, that I was even going to give up looking and plan to live the rest of my life alone. Sure enough, late summer 94, I found her, married her and 20 years later, we're still together. Your issue is that you need to learn how to handle these prying questions from relatives. My first suggestion might get you kicked out of family gatherings altogether, so I would probably not suggest you tell them to mind their effing business. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 Try not to take it too personally ...if that's possible it's like a bog standard set of question really in all honesty and probably carry more impact on you then it does them .. liek when you bump into someone at the shops ... its ... " are you ready for christmas then" " hows the kids" then a whole load of enquiries about that etc etc like you said , if you did have a g/friend right now then it would be a string of questions about that ... just crack a joke about it and don't dwell on it too much . Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 congrats on 20 years relevart ...that's fabulous . Link to comment
BingYu Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 I agree with the above. Except, I don't think that (necessarily) what relevart said was wrong, nor will it get you necessarily kicked out of family gatherings, because after all, they're family. It will just set up boundaries. Just the other day on the 23rd during Christmas dinner I literally told my mum and sis to f*** off from trying to set me up with random girls and stupid that they met from customers at their newsagents (like a 7/11 if you're in the states). I now have this one customer who always comes to the cafe I work at (which isn't far from my mum and sister's shop) coming every day talking about his daughter because my sister and mum have been trying to 'sarcastically' set me up with her. It's all he ever talks about now when I ask him how his day/week/weekend has been when he buys coffee and it's frigging annoying. Yes I'm looking for someone, but I'm not in a rush. I'm doing my own , minding my own business, and I will take my own time until I find someone who's right. Now, please, stop involving yourself in sh** I don't need/want your help with, and let me live my own life. Stand up for yourself, mate. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 "how would you like if I asked you "so, did you break your hip yet?" Have you ever replied "No, do you know anyone suitable for me?" Link to comment
mrmet6986 Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 I feel you. This is my 4th Christmas alone after 4 wonderful Christmases with the girl I thought I would marry and now I spend Christmas Eve alone and Christmas day just seeing my parents for a few hours who I see weekly anyway. Merry f-ing Christmas indeed. Link to comment
BeaTlesFan77 Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 I told Happpybear this awhile ago. Tell them that you're independently owned and operated. Link to comment
Snny Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 I have always been single and it sucks especially during the holidays. Every year I have relatives come over and they always ask me the same dumb questions all the time "Are you dating anyone?" "Sooo do you have a gf yet?" "What are you waiting for? When are you going to get a gf?" It is annoying! I hate being asked those dumb questions all the time. I wish I can say yes so they will stop asking me, but of coarse if I say yes, then they will ask when are we going to meet her? Can I see her pic? Either way it is a no win situation for me. I don't understand why people ask those personal annoying questions? It is uncomfortable for me being asked those annoying dumb questions all time. So basically, you don't plan to date anyone? Or am I repading to far into this? Somewhere along the line, you should communicate how you are currently happy being single. If you are happy being single and do not plan on dating, then these prying questions should stop. And whenever someone asks about girlfriends of whatever, you need to shut them down (politely). Link to comment
wsim Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 Yeah, it isn't easy during this time of the year. I am used to it, so it doesn't bother much now but I still wish that I had someone to spend the holidays with. The hard part is not letting it get to you too much. Link to comment
BingYu Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 The hard part is not letting it get to you too much. Once you get used to this you learn to be happy no matter what. And trust me, learning to do this is worth it. A bit of an upside on things, I set up our first Christmas tree that this family has ever had, this Christmas I don't know why any of my sisters never bothered in their previous years before they got married.... Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 I have always been single and it sucks especially during the holidays. Every year I have relatives come over and they always ask me the same dumb questions all the time "Are you dating anyone?" "Sooo do you have a gf yet?" "What are you waiting for? When are you going to get a gf?" It is annoying! I hate being asked those dumb questions all the time. I wish I can say yes so they will stop asking me, but of coarse if I say yes, then they will ask when are we going to meet her? Can I see her pic? Either way it is a no win situation for me. I don't understand why people ask those personal annoying questions? It is uncomfortable for me being asked those annoying dumb questions all time. Because they love you and are concerned about your well being. Link to comment
MsAdorkable Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 I have always been single and it sucks especially during the holidays. Every year I have relatives come over and they always ask me the same dumb questions all the time "Are you dating anyone?" "Sooo do you have a gf yet?" "What are you waiting for? When are you going to get a gf?" It is annoying! I hate being asked those dumb questions all the time. I wish I can say yes so they will stop asking me, but of coarse if I say yes, then they will ask when are we going to meet her? Can I see her pic? Either way it is a no win situation for me. I don't understand why people ask those personal annoying questions? It is uncomfortable for me being asked those annoying dumb questions all time. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say at age 36 you don't have to put up with this. Stop inviting them over and plan to do something else with the day. My family can be equally frustrating and but I no longer let them bring me down. The last few Christmas' I didn't answer the phone and just went and saw my mom (who I see all the time anyway) for a few hours and called it a day. The rest of the time was mine to relax however I chose. Link to comment
iwishiknew Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share Posted December 28, 2014 So basically, you don't plan to date anyone? Or am I repading to far into this? Somewhere along the line, you should communicate how you are currently happy being single. If you are happy being single and do not plan on dating, then these prying questions should stop. And whenever someone asks about girlfriends of whatever, you need to shut them down (politely). I would like to date but not sure when it will happen. I'm not a normal average guy and because of this it is hard for me to date. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 I would like to date but not sure when it will happen. I'm not a normal average guy and because of this it is hard for me to date. I don't know many "normal average" people and dating is usually hard for everyone -it was hard for me and I am relatively normal/average. It depends how badly you want a date or partner and what you're willing to do to find the right person. Link to comment
iwishiknew Posted January 9, 2015 Author Share Posted January 9, 2015 Having a bone disorder is not easy getting a date. I'm always judged by the outside and never been given a chance. Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 One of my best friends has curvature of the spine....is married with two kids. My brothers neighbor had polio and walks with a significant limp. He is married with 3 kids. Your limitations are what you allow them to be. Link to comment
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