BrokenGator Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 It is easier said than done but you seem to have a handle on it. I know. I have this urge to run to her and hug her. We have mutual friends. When we all go out, she acts like she's all happy and funny and making jokes. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 You do not run and hug the.person who caused you pain. Do not discuss this with mutual friends, her friends or her family. If you must...share with hour best bud and tell him to keep it to himself. You can tell people what happened...but no details. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 You do not run and hug the.person who caused you pain. Do not discuss this with mutual friends, her friends or her family. If you must...share with hour best bud and tell him to keep it to himself. You can tell people what happened...but no details. Thanks for the ideas. What did you have in mind with these suggestions? Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 Don't be her buddy while she gets over you. She broke up with you. You have mutual friends. They must know...but don't hang out as though you are a couple any more. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 Don't be her buddy while she gets over you. She broke up with you. You have mutual friends. They must know...but don't hang out as though you are a couple any more. Sorry for asking so many questions. What does not being friendly with her while she's trying to get over me supposed to do? I'd like to work it out with her. But if I let her move in the I feel like the chances of getting back together is zero. What am I not seeing here? Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 She has told you she has lost her feelings for you and broken up. She could have discussed this with you and tried to solve it. She chose not to. Hanging on will solve nothing. It just proves you are OK with being demoted to "just friends". She has chosen to move on. Now let her accept the consequences of that choice. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 She has told you she has lost her feelings for you and broken up. She could have discussed this with you and tried to solve it. She chose not to. Hanging on will solve nothing. It just proves you are OK with being demoted to "just friends". She has chosen to move on. Now let her accept the consequences of that choice. Yeah you're right. I will hope for the best. I hope she comes to her senses. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 Me too. However...I am glad you've come to yours. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted November 19, 2014 Author Share Posted November 19, 2014 Me too. However...I am glad you've come to yours. Thanks. I hope you don't mind if I post more here. I may be asking a lot of questions... i just don't want you getting annoyed. lol You can't see my demeanor obviously, but i'm hurting a lot. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted November 20, 2014 Author Share Posted November 20, 2014 Man I feel so bad. I can't understand how or why she would do this to me Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 It is the nature of young love. And part of that is breaking up. she Is hurting too...you just don't see it. If you ever break up with someone, it isn't easy. But the worst thing to do is get back together because she says she misses you. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted November 20, 2014 Author Share Posted November 20, 2014 It is the nature of young love. And part of that is breaking up. she Is hurting too...you just don't see it. If you ever break up with someone, it isn't easy. But the worst thing to do is get back together because she says she misses you. Why would that be the worst thing? If she misses me then it means she probably made a mistake. We would have to talk a lot to figure out what happened so that we don't let it come to this point again. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 We miss the people with whom we have just broken up. It has nothing to do with making a mistake. Breaking up is a long term decision. Enjoying one another's companionship is a short term pleasure. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted November 20, 2014 Author Share Posted November 20, 2014 We miss the people with whom we have just broken up. It has nothing to do with making a mistake. Breaking up is a long term decision. Enjoying one another's companionship is a short term pleasure. What if she decided it was a mistake and wants to work it out? You're saying people who break up should stay broken up forever? Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 What if she decided it was a mistake and wants to work it out? You're saying people who break up should stay broken up forever? This was posted previously: If she misses me then it means she probably made a mistake. I am saying the fact that someone misses someone else does not indicate that breaking up was a mistake. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted November 20, 2014 Author Share Posted November 20, 2014 This was posted previously: I am saying the fact that someone misses someone else does not indicate that breaking up was a mistake. So how would I know she wants to get back with me? She'll just flat out say it? Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Yes....she would. She would offer and apology and ask for a 2nd chance. It is normal to miss someone after a break up...you are used to spending significant time together. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted November 20, 2014 Author Share Posted November 20, 2014 Yes....she would. She would offer and apology and ask for a 2nd chance. It is normal to miss someone after a break up...you are used to spending significant time together. I am just so ridiculously attracted to her physically, emotionally, intellectually, etc. I love her so much. I never thought it was possible to love someone like this. I wish we could just work it out. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 You can't "work out" loss of feelings. I am sorry you are hurting Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted November 20, 2014 Author Share Posted November 20, 2014 You can't "work out" loss of feelings. I am sorry you are hurting What can I do to improve the chances of her maybe regaining those feelings? Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Nothing. Accept that your ex knows her own heart and mind and will contact you if she realizes she made a mistake. The best way to make that possible is to disappear from her contact. Then and only then does she see what breaking up with you cost. You cannot "friend" your way back in. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted November 20, 2014 Author Share Posted November 20, 2014 Nothing. Accept that your ex knows her own heart and mind and will contact you if she realizes she made a mistake. The best way to make that possible is to disappear from her contact. Then and only then does she see what breaking up with you cost. You cannot "friend" your way back in. The issue is that we have common friends. So I won't be able to disappear. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 But if you are out and the group gets larger when she and more people join in...you don't act like her bf. You don't have to be rude....but you don't pretend you are still dating. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted November 20, 2014 Author Share Posted November 20, 2014 But if you are out and the group gets larger when she and more people join in...you don't act like her bf. You don't have to be rude....but you don't pretend you are still dating. Ok. I just should treat her like any other friend? Or treat her like a stranger? Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Like any other friend. You can't pretend you are strangers. Link to comment
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