BrokenGator Posted November 26, 2014 Author Share Posted November 26, 2014 You are now obsessing about somerhing you cannot change....the past. Let it go. I wish I knew what it was that I did though. At least I would have learn something from it. All I learned from her lack of input is that people are flaky and shouldn't be trusted 100%. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 Again, read my last post. And you learned the wrong lesson. Your ex was flakey and not to be trusted. You can of damn the rest of womankind by her actions. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted November 26, 2014 Author Share Posted November 26, 2014 Again, read my last post. And you learned the wrong lesson. Your ex was flakey and not to be trusted. You can of damn the rest of womankind by her actions. What if I did something that would cause her to act this way? What if the next relationship goes the same way? Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 Still obsessing. I don't think you did anything wrong --- this is about her loss of feelings, not you being a butt head. What if you get hit by a bus tomorrow....it doesn't matter. Let it go. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted November 26, 2014 Author Share Posted November 26, 2014 Still obsessing. I don't think you did anything wrong --- this is about her loss of feelings, not you being a butt head. What if you get hit by a bus tomorrow....it doesn't matter. Let it go. Maybe I didn't do something directly to have her lose feelings. Maybe it was something I indirectly did. A short stretch of working late at work? What made her unhappy that she lost her love... That's what I'd like to figure out. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 Dude --- it doesn't matter if you grew a third head. You cannot change what you didn't do/did in any way. You don't get to figure out everything ---- maybe your need to control was an issue? Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted November 26, 2014 Author Share Posted November 26, 2014 Dude --- it doesn't matter if you grew a third head. You cannot change what you didn't do/did in any way. You don't get to figure out everything ---- maybe your need to control was an issue? Na I'm not controlling at all actually. I just don't want to go through this again with someone else. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 Not all women are the same. Your exact same behavior with another woman might have her begging to marry you. PUT THIS BEHIND YOU. Your ex isn't going to give you any more information. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted November 26, 2014 Author Share Posted November 26, 2014 Not all women are the same. Your exact same behavior with another woman might have her begging to marry you. PUT THIS BEHIND YOU. Your ex isn't going to give you any more information. Yes I understand. Please pray for me! Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted December 1, 2014 Author Share Posted December 1, 2014 I just found out that she might be dating someone already. Link to comment
Nuby Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 It sounds like you're making her responsible for your happiness and responsible for your emotions. They are yours... you must own them. I feel for you, I really do but the best advice is sometimes the hardest advice to swallow. It's time to work on your own confidence and self esteem. Put yourself first and find out what things are going to make you into a better you. Let go with forgiveness, love and gratitude and it gets ride of a lot of negative energy. Trust me, it may take a while but you'll come out on the other side just fine Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted December 1, 2014 Author Share Posted December 1, 2014 It sounds like you're making her responsible for your happiness and responsible for your emotions. They are yours... you must own them. I feel for you, I really do but the best advice is sometimes the hardest advice to swallow. It's time to work on your own confidence and self esteem. Put yourself first and find out what things are going to make you into a better you. Let go with forgiveness, love and gratitude and it gets ride of a lot of negative energy. Trust me, it may take a while but you'll come out on the other side just fine I honestly feel better because it all makes sense now. The way I see it: girl and I for two+ years have had a very serious relationship. She was expressing to me how awesome it was to be it with me and to marry me and she can't wait. Then drops me and immediately starts dating someone else. No one who means anything like the stuff she said would all of a sudden do this. I'm sorry but that's a really crappy character. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted December 15, 2014 Author Share Posted December 15, 2014 I might have said I got better a couple of weeks ago but I'm starting to get obsessed again with trying to figure out what went wrong. I keep thinking about all our little fights or arguments and wondering if things could have been different now if I just took the high road in these disagreements. Link to comment
saluk Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 Don't beat yourself up man! You can resolve to get better at disagreements in the future, but don't be so hard on your past self. He only knew what he knew at the time, and he was learning; as you still are. You can't change the past, and you have little hope to understand it better while it is still tied so strongly to your emotions and you have no new information. Don't forget that she didn't tell you that any of those things were the problem. She was the one who decided that she would rather leave than stick around and see what could be fixed between you. You just weren't right for each other, for whatever reason. Wait for someone who will fight to stay with you. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted December 15, 2014 Author Share Posted December 15, 2014 Don't beat yourself up man! You can resolve to get better at disagreements in the future, but don't be so hard on your past self. He only knew what he knew at the time, and he was learning; as you still are. You can't change the past, and you have little hope to understand it better while it is still tied so strongly to your emotions and you have no new information. Don't forget that she didn't tell you that any of those things were the problem. She was the one who decided that she would rather leave than stick around and see what could be fixed between you. You just weren't right for each other, for whatever reason. Wait for someone who will fight to stay with you. That's also another thing I can't wrap my head around. We seemed like we were right for each other. During the two years we seemed to have clicked in everything and in all levels. Just makes no sense at all. Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 That's the thing....it doesn't have to make sense. Applying logic to emotions is a futile exercise. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted December 15, 2014 Author Share Posted December 15, 2014 That's the thing....it doesn't have to make sense. Applying logic to emotions is a futile exercise. Is it normal for someone to do what she did? I don't think I particularly want to know the exact reason why she would do this. If there is no reason, like she indicated, then is this a character issue with her? The bottom line is people have free will. But what kind of person make a choice like this giving the circumstances described? For example, I would never drop someone that I claim to love so much and so deeply after I have integrated them in my life and in my families life just because the butterflies are gone. To me that just seems to wrong. Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 And that is why you are not together...her value system and yours aren't the same. She is young...she wants to experience life...and doesn't think you are her "forever" guy. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted December 15, 2014 Author Share Posted December 15, 2014 And that is why you are not together...her value system and yours aren't the same. She is young...she wants to experience life...and doesn't think you are her "forever" guy. She doesn't think I am anymore anyway. She was telling me how much she wanted to marry me and how lucky she is and how she can't believe she found me and I'm all hers forever. Lol. Crazy. Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 That is just "love/future" talk....it doesnt mean much. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted December 15, 2014 Author Share Posted December 15, 2014 That is just "love/future" talk....it doesnt mean much. Yeah proof is in the pudding as they say. I feel like I was taken for a ride and feel used. My patents and her parents thought it was real too.. Because our respective parents treated the other like heir own child. Our parents were even talking to us like it was a done deal and just a formality at this point. So how can I discern real and fake talk? Because I sure thought it was real. I really don't want to waste another two years on someone else like this because I have never looked for a casual relationship. Also thanks to everyone who has helped me over the last few weeks! Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 You just have to take the measure of the person. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted December 15, 2014 Author Share Posted December 15, 2014 You just have to take the measure of the person. That's the thing. I totally took that measurement. I can only go by what they say and how they act. I can't put them through a lie detector test. Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 I didn't say that. The measure of a person is how their words match up with their actions. Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 What were all your fights and arguements over? Link to comment
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