Getting back together or healing after break up?

[pfbsurf]

I am fully recovered - maybe you can refer to it as remission - from a major clinical depression without the use of ADs. I do not have a history of problem drinking or depression, and had many other factors tied into this besides her. This all was, to the best of my understanding, situational depression and poor coping skills. I would stop short of calling myself "obsessed" as well. Unhealthy attachment -sure, but anyway, maybe we shouldn't quibble about terms.

 

I appreciate your sentiment, i really do. And i do think that there is risk. But the picture you paint - obsessed and depressed - while partially true, leaves out the reality. I am a responsible father of three with a busy career, lots of friends and hobbies, and pretty healthy self-awareness.

 

I fell in love with someone. Stuff happens. She happens to be flawed, just like me.

 

Again, i sincerely appreciate advice and guidance, but sometimes the advice here is painted with a very broad brush. I will not treat my ex like heroin and pretend i'm a junkie. Again, i fell in love. An immature and silly love in many ways, and an intense and sincere love in many ways. She has said that I'm the only guy that she has dated that allows her to be herself, to be authentic. Red flag? Sure. But those were not idle words.

 

I am very tuned into my moods - i am grateful that I have come out of the depression that I was in (which by the way, started before we got together last year, much more low grade, but in hindsight, true depression).

 

This all involves risk, and, most likely, will have a bittersweet ending. But now that we have reconnected, and talked, and still have some lingering mutual feelings, alot of this makes much more sense to me. Fully understanding all of this the best i can will only help me in the next relationship. Make sense?

[lavenderdove]

>>Fully understanding all of this the best i can will only help me in the next relationship. Make sense?

 

Except you're not in your 'next relationship,' you trying to start things up again with a woman who cheated on you and who you've done this with you multiple times before and gotten back together again and broken up with again without a good or sustained outcome.

 

You're not seeing her to 'understand' her, you're seeing her because you want to bang her and be with her again. You're trying very hard to talk yourself into why this is a good or a 'noble' idea to see her again, but that's the bottom line, that you want another turn in the bucket with her. That is your choice to make, but don't expect people to not try to warn you after the history you've had with this woman and the fact that she cheats and it keeps ending up in breakups and screwing up your head again.

 

So you are more than welcome to take another turn with her, but people are also going to try to warn you based on the history that keeps repeating here though you are downplaying it now. And they're not wrong to try to warn you, they are trying to help you.

 

You can take the advice that appeals to you and leave the rest, but just because advice is appealing doesn't mean it is good advice, and just because advice is not appealing to you doesn't mean it is wrong or bad advice either.

[pfbsurf]

Yup. I just want to bang her. You got me

 

You live in a one dimensional world.

[pfbsurf]

Btw. I do take advice that I don't feel great about. I dumped her because of this sort of advice

 

I just tend to tune out when it gets preachy and insulting which luckily is very rare here

[Clinton]

Well, you've made a decision and seem content with the idea that it may not work. Which is all good.

 

The last thing I will say on the subject is this. You went into a major depression before partly due to this. You do not just have your own welfare to consider, there is also your child's. I know you say you can handle the rejection, but be careful for your child's sake. I saw my own mother battle depression and it did leave a mark on me.

 

Best of luck

[HeartGoesOn]

This thread has run its course...Closed.