Iiwab Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 She's not my best friend. She could never be my best friend. She is never going to change, stop calling her my best friend. She's secretive, spiteful, passive aggressive, pretty fake, competitive and she thinks she knows me. She could never be my best friend. She was done with that a long time ago. So many times she's tricked me into thinking she's changed but then she goes right back to old behavior. Whenever she starts hanging out with someone new consistently, she starts treating me even worse and pointing out even more of my flaws. I am, honest to god, her punching bag. She treats no other the way she treats me because she knows people won't stand for that type of bull. But me, I will. I pretend to be someone I used to be. I pretend to be a dense naive girl that lets the simplest and harshest of things go over her head. Why? Why do I keep letting her judge me and narrowly abuse me verbally? Better yet, why does she do this to me? I treat her so kindly, I try to be there for her, I try to make her happy. I do things on her behalf. Why is she like this? I already have an idea why but I would like to see the point of view from others before I take action. Link to comment
Cherry009 Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 I have/had a friend a bit like this, was nice as pie to everyone else (which was complete fakery) and was rude, bossy, controlling and judgemental to me. Just slowly fade out, don't have a big confrontation, just move on and try to make new friends. I have done this an feel so happy. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Why does she continue to do this to me? Maybe a better question would be, why do you stick around for it? Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 She does it to you, because you let her. You want it to stop? Delete her from your life and move on. You teach people how to treat you, you've taught her it's all right to lie to you and mistreat you then sucker you back in for more. Walk the other way, dump the toxicity, never put up with toxic people. It's just a waste of time and when you get older you really just wish you'd put that drink down you had in your hand when your toxic friend was going on off on you or tearing you down, gathered up your stuff, walked out the door and kept going while deleting them off all contacts. And never answered them again no matter how many times they apologized. So do it already, whining about it isn't changing a damn thing now is it. Link to comment
Iiwab Posted September 2, 2014 Author Share Posted September 2, 2014 Maybe a better question would be, why do you stick around for it? I already asked that. What I want is people's points of view on why she would. Link to comment
Iiwab Posted September 2, 2014 Author Share Posted September 2, 2014 She does it to you, because you let her. You want it to stop? Delete her from your life and move on. You teach people how to treat you, you've taught her it's all right to lie to you and mistreat you then sucker you back in for more. Walk the other way, dump the toxicity, never put up with toxic people. It's just a waste of time and when you get older you really just wish you'd put that drink down you had in your hand when your toxic friend was going on off on you or tearing you down, gathered up your stuff, walked out the door and kept going while deleting them off all contacts. And never answered them again no matter how many times they apologized. So do it already, whining about it isn't changing a damn thing now is it. Did you even read everything I wrote? I wanted to get everyone's point of view on why she would before I confronted her about it. You people, sigh. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 Better yet, why does she do this to me? I believe this has been answered before. She does it to you because YOU allow her to treat you this way. Because YOU put up with it. Because YOU teach her how to treat you. You already said that others won't put up with this but YOU do. Maybe it's time for you to stop putting up with her too? As long as you keep going back for more then you can't expect things to change. If you don't like the treatment, then don't put up with it. Choice is yours. Link to comment
Cherry009 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 Did you even read everything I wrote? I wanted to get everyone's point of view on why she would before I confronted her about it. You people, sigh. No need for rudeness, people are trying to help you. We dont know the exact reason she treats you the way she does...none of us know her. But you need to know how to deal with this sort of thing which is what people are trying to advise you on. Move on from her. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 I already asked that. What I want is people's points of view on why she would. Because you stick around for it. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 Did you even read everything I wrote? I wanted to get everyone's point of view on why she would before I confronted her about it. You people, sigh. I'm starting to see why she treats you poorly. j/k The actual reason she does is because she's an assclown and you enable her to be one. You likely have no or very weak personal boundaries in place and people who are wrought with less then good intentions will take advantage of your over compensating. Most people stop doing things for people who don't appreciate it and they distance themselves rather then try harder with someone who treats them poorly. A link (or two) about boundaries that may help you to stop enabling her to be who she is (at least with You, anyway) link removed link removed Link to comment
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