My ex husband/ex fiancé married behind my back

[Wenwillitend]

What kind of person tells you he loves u, then leaves u & gets married a week later?

I'm in so much pain I can't see the end of this suffering. I trusted my ex husband & I know I should not have, but I did. I don't understand & all I keep thinking is how did this happen. I want answers I will never get. After 20 plus years, a divorce of 3 years, a reconciliation & now he walks out claiming he loves me only to find out on FB he got married. How can I move on? I don't want to cry anymore.

[ThatwasThen]

How could he be seeing someone long enough to marry them and you not even notice any shady, classic cheating behaviour though? I'm sorry this happened to you but much more information is needed so that we can get a better handle on how to help you recover from this.

 

Be strong.

[ubasti]

First, I want to say that I am sorry you have experienced this. I have gone through something similar, and it still really bothers me. What I am trying to do (with very little success I might add) is that I am trying to FORCE myself to focus on other things. I am desperately trying to stop contact with him, focus on my career, focus on loving myself and picking up the pieces. I am trying to force my mind to find a new perspective on life.

 

I know that he made you feel like a joke. You're not, he's just dishonest. In the long run, the jokes on him...even if you may not be able to fathom it in the present.

[Capricorn3]

a divorce of 3 years, a reconciliation

The reconciliation: Did he move back in with you and live together? If so, how long?

 

It would be helpful to get a lot more details in order to understand exactly what is going on.

[Clio]

What kind of person tells you he loves u, then leaves u & gets married a week later?

 

A person who is selfish, dishonest and whose feelings are in roller-coaster mode. There are people who say 'I love you' to their partner shortly before breaking up, but I think that what they really mean is 'I feel guilty for what I am about to do to you, I think I loved you once in the past and I am going to miss you'. They may even feel they mean it in the moment they say it, but it has not a lasting sense. It's more of a form of 'good bye'.

 

If he got married a week later, he was probably having an affair for quite some time and was torn between the two of you or he is a very unstable person. Either way, you will be better off without him in the long run. His actions spell unstable/dishonest/lost. You wrote that you know you should not have trusted him, so this is probably not the first time he has violated your trust.

 

You can move on if you make peace with the fact that he was never the ONE for you. You tried for 20+ years to make it work and it didn't. You did your absolute best and you now know 1000% that it CANNOT work. Time to give up on him and build a new life. Talking to a therapist can help. Good luck with your healing.

[villagehero]

f*ck.....! I'm sorry...

[mhowe]

How is he an ex-fiance? Did he ask to marry you again and give you a ring?

[IAmFCA]

Sort of similar experience, not as dramatic as yours.

 

He now says (yes, after NC he initiated an email exchange) "I was in a very dark place" and agrees that he wasn't "exactly a fountain of truth" then.

 

It was unfathomable to me how anyone could keep that information private while communicating with me daily.

 

I finally figured out: who cares. He is way too much of a nut job to create a future with, and that's all I need to know. And, of course, I am glad he is not mine to love and to manage.

 

This is a reflection on him, and not on you.