Rehab Romance Ends After 4 Years and One Child

[Swisher]

I will try to condense this a bit because if I shared everything it would turn into a novel.

 

We met at drug rehab (yeah, i know..) she was there for pills I was there for alcohol. As addicts do things moved quickly and in 3 months she was living with me and 6 months she was pregnant. We were both working and preparing for life with our new son and honestly it felt like a movie. But then reality hit.

 

My ex has diagnosed ptsd, depression and god what else from her 4 year tour in the military. She also could never quit her drug habit. In fact my son was born with anxiety medicine in his system. I wanted to support her because I truly loved her. I would go with her to countless counseling visits, wait for her during many more detox facilities, show her support while she was baker acted 3 separate times. I wanted to believe that eventually the good person I knew was inside her would eventually force it's way out and life would be good. It never happened.

 

She was a manipulator and liar and I would not allow myself to see the truth. I believe the reason for this is because I wanted a family so bad with her and my son that I was willing to put up with her bs.

 

For the past couple months or so I have had a funny feeling about her. She was constantly arguing, the sex was not good, when I kissed her she'd look right past me, etc. We would argue and she would go back home to her parents, taking our son. She would run out and buy drugs with her sister from who knows where and I would never be able to reach her on the phone. She would always come back but it seemed as if at the drop of a hat she would pick up the phone and go home. Eventually last month she quit her job and did.

 

Two days later I got a call where she was going to the mental hospital and I needed to pick up my son. While she was in there I tried to show her support. She told me "I hate you, I hate your guts, I hate everything about you". I believed it. Yet 6 days later she was able to manipulate me into coming back home, she had discovered she was pregnant.

 

I will never forget how she was when she got back. She seemed distant. Like she was only there in body. I would try to take her to the beach, out to eat but she was just emotionally detached from me. I didn't want to believe it. Then a few days later she told me she wanted to have an abortion. I told her I would not support that decision and if that is what she wants to do then she can go.

 

She left and I haven't heard from her in almost 3 weeks. A week ago I sent flowers but got no response. I have not attempted to make any other form of contact. The last I heard of her was when her mom asked me to keep my son with me for another week. My son's been with me for almost 3 weeks straight and has yet to receive a call from his mother.

 

I believe she was cheating for the past couple months. Though I don't have any definitive proof. I believe she got grass is greener syndrome and most likely is shacked up with someone who is also using drugs in her hometown. I also believe that by constantly standing by her when she would get arrested, go to a mental facility or back to rehab, she lost respect for me. She used to be a doting, affectionate, loving woman who I never thought would stray from me. But I think by allowing her to constantly lie to me and seeing that I would always give her another chance she thought she could disrespect me however she wanted to.

 

I still get sad because I have absolutely no clue what is going on with her but I've chosen to move on with my life. I filed for paternity and custody of my son. I've also found a new job. I try to spend quality time with my family and friends and haven't turned the tv on in a week. I'm staying busy a lot and that has helped me with this feeling of infidelity and betrayal. I know that I am worthy of so much more and that her weakness will eventually lead her further into sorrow, disease and eventually death. I wanted to save her but I can't.

 

It's time to move on.

[t1lersm0m1]

Good for you, keep moving on! You sound healthy, and she sounds very unhealthy. Time to heal.

[janut1]

Yes, I agree, you sound like you have your stuff together and she is on the road to destruction. I know this must be hard, but I am glad you are filing for custody because you can give your son stability, something your X can't do right now. I hope and pray she sees the light and gets clean, but for now, you can only take care of you and your son. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. She has to want it for herself.

 

Yea, breaking up really sucks, we are all hear because we are recovering from a BU. Keep posting here, it really does help.