How much do common interests matter to you?

[happpybear]

This is not uncommon, as I have learned over the past few months. I have been rejected by 3 men because I do not eat out at restaurants. I consider myself a foodie, and cook everything I eat, but I don't do the dining out at new and fancy retsaurants and it seems to be quite a big deal to many people. So, you are definitely not alone in considering ruling someone out if they don't share your interests in dining out.

[notalady]

This is not uncommon, as I have learned over the past few months. I have been rejected by 3 men because I do not eat out at restaurants. I consider myself a foodie, and cook everything I eat, but I don't do the dining out at new and fancy retsaurants and it seems to be quite a big deal to many people. So, you are definitely not alone in considering ruling someone out if they don't share your interests in dining out.

 

I'd be more than happy to eat a guy's home cooked meals, especially if he's a good cook however yes I would like to go out to eat at least some of the time. I just like a bit of everything really, I like trying new things (food included), if it's always out to restaurants or always cook at home, I'd get bored.

[Fudgie]

I think if going out and trying new food is really important to you and food isn't important to him BUT he would enjoy going out with you to eat simply to be with you, then I don't see a problem at all. The end result would still be him going out with you and enjoying himself. He's just not enjoying the same exact thing about the outing that you are but he's still having a good time.

[SoulTaker]

I'd be more than happy to eat a guy's home cooked meals, especially if he's a good cook however yes I would like to go out to eat at least some of the time. I just like a bit of everything really, I like trying new things (food included), if it's always out to restaurants or always cook at home, I'd get bored.

 

Now, would you accept a home cooked meal before you've first gone to a restaurant? Also, you wouldn't go to a man's home until you're comfortable around him, which would take a few dates, right?

[notalady]

Now, would you accept a home cooked meal before you've first gone to a restaurant? Also, you wouldn't go to a man's home until you're comfortable around him, which would take a few dates, right?

 

Na I wouldn't go to man's home until I'm comfortable around him, probably would take 6+ dates, I was just talking in general. First few dates will likely be at a restaurants or cafe, or maybe a bar if the guy drinks.

[lerenard]

You should be mutually interested in each other. That is what matter for me. Interest change, we all can agree on that, I think.

I like that we have different interest in some things with my boyfriend. I like his music, he likes mine (most of the time), still we have totally different core tastes in it. I am a home body 80% of the time, meaning that I even like exercising from home, I like inviting people in instead of going out and so on. My BF likes to go out almost every Friday, and I am happy because I have my girly time instead. )) As far as food goes, he eats meat and LOVES it, I don't eat meat at all for 8 years now, but we have mutual love for cheeses, and now he likes fish because I know how to cook it, before me he hated fish, actually.

 

Agree with Fudgie about the restaurant stuff. He likes spending time with you, and you like trying new food. I think its a win-win situation.

[notalady]

You and your bf is quite an interesting case, I think the key is that you are both accepting of the other person's lifestyle and preferences and incorporate it into your own, and you don't try to change each other (e.g you don't try to make him stop eating meat and he doesn't try to make you go out with him).

[lerenard]

I actually don't like vegetarians or vegans who get really in your face about their lifestyle, and basically HATE you if you eat meat/fish/whatever. I made my choice for my own reasons, why should I try changing him if this is who he was long before meeting me, right?

 

But believe me, we are not perfect, we are trying really hard to compromise and not fight) He was drinking before, now he stopped, so I am a lot more calm when he goes out, because I don't have to worry about him coming back drunk at 5 AM or, you know)

 

When you start dating you always find something in common, but you also get to know your differences. When you live together for some time you learn what can be smoothed out and what is "your thing" and can`t be changed. Sometimes you have to fight about it to find it out, but hey, it is worth it. I actually don't think I would like a vegan boyfriend. Because I like some "junk" foods, I love cheese, I am crazy about sea food and so on.))) And even though I don't like heavy drinking, I don't want a guy who is 100% against it, because I like my red wine sometimes!

[SoulTaker]

Na I wouldn't go to man's home until I'm comfortable around him, probably would take 6+ dates, I was just talking in general. First few dates will likely be at a restaurants or cafe, or maybe a bar if the guy drinks.

 

Interesting viewpoint, considering the # of women who show up at the man's house on the 1st or 2nd date. I agree with the way you're going about it, keeping it public the first few dates.

[notalady]

Interesting viewpoint, considering the # of women who show up at the man's house on the 1st or 2nd date. I agree with the way you're going about it, keeping it public the first few dates.

 

Yea that's just weird. I wouldn't even let the guy pick me up at my place until date 4 or thereabouts.

 

Recently read in the news, a girl went and met a guy she met on Tinder for the first time, at his hotel/apartment (he's in town just holiday or something), and she ended up "accidentally" falling over the balcony and dead. He panicked and ran, then went to the police with a lawyer the next day. Only they know what happened, but all I can say is don't go to a private place with a stranger lol..

[jjkk]

I actually don't like vegetarians or vegans who get really in your face about their lifestyle, and basically HATE you if you eat meat/fish/whatever. I made my choice for my own reasons, why should I try changing him if this is who he was long before meeting me, right?

 

Funny thing about what you said...I had a bf in which a huge part of the reason we were drawn to each other is because we were both vegans. Well, he turned out to be an in your face, belligerent (imo) about it one and that ended up playing a big part of our break up. I couldn't stand the ranting about "idiots" drinking milk and the fat @**** who eat meat, etc. GRRR!! So...similar interest/lifestyle drew us together but behaviors around that really turned me off.

[SoulTaker]

Yea that's just weird. I wouldn't even let the guy pick me up at my place until date 4 or thereabouts.

 

Recently read in the news, a girl went and met a guy she met on Tinder for the first time, at his hotel/apartment (he's in town just holiday or something), and she ended up "accidentally" falling over the balcony and dead. He panicked and ran, then went to the police with a lawyer the next day. Only they know what happened, but all I can say is don't go to a private place with a stranger lol..

 

It boggles the mind on why women don't put security as a high priority. Instincts, and common sense are replaced by emotions wrapped around so-called chemistry.

[notalady]

Funny thing about what you said...I had a bf in which a huge part of the reason we were drawn to each other is because we were both vegans. Well, he turned out to be an in your face, belligerent (imo) about it one and that ended up playing a big part of our break up. I couldn't stand the ranting about "idiots" drinking milk and the fat @**** who eat meat, etc. GRRR!! So...similar interest/lifestyle drew us together but behaviors around that really turned me off.

 

So I guess the essence of the discussion is to look for someone who is accepting of and respect other people's life choices instead of trying to impose their own views on them.

 

And someone who is open to trying new things

[notalady]

Accidentally duplicated post

[eskimobobseal]

Common interests are like a ven diagram - you're going to have similarities and you're going to have differences. If you have very, very few similarities, it can hurt the relationship tremendously. If you have at least a few, you'll be fine.

 

With me, I'm very laid back and flexible and can enjoy pretty much any interest that someone else has. Obviously though - it would be nice to meet someone that at least has a FEW things that we can both enjoy together, without one person having to be introduced to it first.