summernite Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I have been (virtually) seeing someone steadily for two months (skype, email, Gchat but mostly texting and phone). Normally we touch base every day. Sometimes we leave 2-3 days of space (I am usualy feel okay about that). We had a little fight on Valentine's but over all, we get along quite well. He lives in a near by city, 90 min away from me. We had met in college ages ago, and had a little fling but nothing more. We reconnected at a Christmas party and exchanged cards. Last Friday we had skype sex for the first time. Before that we had flirted on skype. But this was sex and I thought it was awesome. BUT I haven't heard from him ever since. I was expecting at least a sweet text or something like that the day after. But nothing but silence. I thought things were going ok; we had set up a coffee date for this coming Friday. But the silence is killing me. We never had the "exclusivity" chat, and he skype sex was spontaneous and fun (and I think he'd agree). What's with this silence though???? Should I worry? As far as I know he is not married, but mayb he is seeing someone else???? What can be happening here?? I feel lost. Thanks Summernite Link to comment
ALovingKitten Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I think his silence is rude, after being sexual is NOT the time to go silence and leave you wondering, like you said he should have sent a short text. Do you think he regrets it? Is embarrassed about something he said or did, was it only words or was nudity involved? Something that made him think oh no, shouldn't have went that far? You could text you liked your chat hope all is alright with him. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I'm assuming you haven't seen him in person since this past Christmas? Link to comment
summernite Posted March 4, 2014 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 I didnt think he would be feeling regretful ... but mayb he is?? Link to comment
summernite Posted March 4, 2014 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 I'm assuming you haven't seen him in person since this past Christmas? No I havent we were going to meet this Friday Link to comment
jjkk Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Have you tried contacting him since the Skype sex? Has he ignored your texts? If yes, then it's over but if you haven't reached out to contact him, do it and see how he responds and take it from there. Link to comment
ALovingKitten Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 He should apologize to you for his silence when he shows back up. I don't know why he vanished but send him a very brief text asking if all is ok with him...but only send 1 no more and wait to see if he replies. Link to comment
summernite Posted March 4, 2014 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 Have you tried contacting him since the Skype sex? Has he ignored your texts? If yes, then it's over but if you haven't reached out to contact him, do it and see how he responds and take it from there. I havent reached out because he is usually the one who texts or calls me. Link to comment
summernite Posted March 4, 2014 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 He should apologize to you for his silence when he shows back up. I don't know why he vanished but send him a very brief text asking if all is ok with him...but only send 1 no more and wait to see if he replies. If he is hoping to see me on Friday at least he should apologize. Link to comment
ALovingKitten Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I think you should connect by phone or text before Friday because your worry is building up and he doesn't seem to be aware his absence would concern you. Will you tell him it hurt you that he disappeared after you were intimate on skype? Link to comment
Furbys Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 He doesn't have anything to apologize for. Of course it would be nice for him to text/call you but you two are not together, you two have only ever been casual fun. Because it is only casual fun he does not need to follow any 'relationship rules' because you are not in a relationship. If you want more out of this and want a relationship then you need to talk to him about it when you meet on Friday. If he doesnt want a relationship then stop the cyber sex. Link to comment
jjkk Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I agree, I don't see the need for an apology. Reach out and send a text to confirm plans for Friday or just to say hi/see how he's doing. Depending on his response (or lack of), you'll have your answer. Best of luck! Btw, I'd love to hear how it goes after texting him. Link to comment
summernite Posted March 4, 2014 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 I think you should connect by phone or text before Friday because your worry is building up and he doesn't seem to be aware his absence would concern you. Will you tell him it hurt you that he disappeared after you were intimate on skype? I will let him know for sure I am hurt. The silence is very unusual. But he has been in the past silent after thins get emotionally close. Then he comes back. But i am freaking out because we had skype sex which to me is a big deal. Maybe he doesnt want me anymore and wants to miss our date om friday. Link to comment
chr8st8na Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Im so lost... how do people have virtual sex? Link to comment
summernite Posted March 4, 2014 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 He doesn't have anything to apologize for. Of course it would be nice for him to text/call you but you two are not together, you two have only ever been casual fun. Because it is only casual fun he does not need to follow any 'relationship rules' because you are not in a relationship. If you want more out of this and want a relationship then you need to talk to him about it when you meet on Friday. If he doesnt want a relationship then stop the cyber sex. I know we are not in a relationship. I am saying it is unusual for him not to contact me. And since we had cybersex, I worry that has something to do with the silence. Link to comment
summernite Posted March 4, 2014 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 Its like having phone sex but with video Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Wow, so now there's virtual sex and then virtual disappearing???? We all know of it happening in the real world, but this is the first time I've heard of this one. Sorry, if he can't handle virtual sex without doing the disappearing act then he definitely can't handle you in the real world--i.e. a real woman and not someone on the other end of a keyboard. Block and delete him and move on and don't respond if he suddenly turns back up somewhere down the line with a bunch of phony excuses. He's obviously not that into your or maybe is juggling a group of you or even worse, thinks that now that you're just going to wait around and let him call the shots. I wouldn't bother with Friday or even wait for him to contact you, it's just plan flat out rudeness to go silent after sex virtual or not. Most guys would be blowing up your phone and beyond ecstatic at taking it to the next level and they'd be making very sure you are going to see them on Friday. Eh, give this guy a pass and find someone who knows how lucky he is that you even gave him the time of day let alone anything else. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 have you ever been close like in person and not just through the computer....if not there is an issue... If a lot of the convos are flirty and stuff, he probably contacts you when he is in the mood or bored... Not to come off as a jerk but I find it kinda funny that you can take your clothes off on cam for someone but you cant text them to ask them what the deal is... Link to comment
summernite Posted March 5, 2014 Author Share Posted March 5, 2014 have you ever been close like in person and not just through the computer....if not there is an issue... If a lot of the convos are flirty and stuff, he probably contacts you when he is in the mood or bored... Not to come off as a jerk but I find it kinda funny that you can take your clothes off on cam for someone but you cant text them to ask them what the deal is... Yes we have been physically close in person, a long time ago. About not texting, I just dont feel ready to do so. I feel he just wants some space. But who knows; at least I am not fretting about it, and i'm ok waiting for him to call back. I dont want to initiate contact if i am feeling insecure: that will probably trigger an argument. Id rather wait to feel inner peace before I call/txt; he may be ready to come back on his own by then. I do plan to let him know that I would have liked to get a quick text after our encounter. Link to comment
JA0371 Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 I don't think it matters if it was 'virtual' sex or not...it was still a sexual act. I would be annoyed too. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 I don't think it matters if it was 'virtual' sex or not...it was still a sexual act. I would be annoyed too. so people who get off with web cam girls is the same? Im sorry but having sexual acts on the comp compared to a physical touch of that person is not the same... Link to comment
poetryandlyrics Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 I think it doesn't matter if it's virtual or not (if the sex act was done visually - I don't think sex text roleplay has the same impact than visually?). She used Skype. I'm assuming they exposed themselves? That takes a lot of vulnerability. In person or not. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 Well my comment was based kinda on how she would answer the other question which was the closeness in person. They were close in person also..add part 2..then I would be mad. But if someone only jumps onto skype to get off then they back off..to me that means one thing, the person is bored and using the only person to get off...idk thats how i see things....But since she said they were close in person also, then that changed the way i view the skype situation Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Yes we have been physically close in person, a long time ago. About not texting, I just dont feel ready to do so. I feel he just wants some space. But who knows; at least I am not fretting about it, and i'm ok waiting for him to call back. I dont want to initiate contact if i am feeling insecure: that will probably trigger an argument. Id rather wait to feel inner peace before I call/txt; he may be ready to come back on his own by then. I do plan to let him know that I would have liked to get a quick text after our encounter. I am guessing he will be a no show for the Friday get together. Why would he disappear when he is so close to seeing you again and spending real time with you? I hope I am wrong....but I think he will give Friday a pass and use a lame excuse. Link to comment
AmyFFowler Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 Would be curious to know if he got back in touch. Link to comment
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