What qualities in partner are non-negotiable for you and why?

[greta96]

1. Respect. He has to treat everybody with respect, even those he doesn't like.

2. Stays away from drugs of any kind (pot included)

3. Not an alcoholic. Social drinking ok, more than that no.

4. Compassion

5. Willingness to listen and help

6. Loyalty

[kompakt]

If you don't believe in deal breakers....don't have them.

 

I don't have them and don't understand people who do they are usually single not by choice but by their own doing, because I know in the end deal breakers are superficial crap. Having some standards is one thing like dating a single mother that I can understand you not wanting to date a person like that but having a shopping list of unreal qualities you'd like in a partner is not realistic and counter productive.

[Live-N-Learn]

Oh....that reminds me:

 

Use of the NON word....irregardless......is a deal breaker.

In fact....it will get you a departing lecture!

 

Waiting for my lecture since I used it in the title of this post!

[mhowe]

Waiting for my lecture since I used it in the title of this post!

 

No you didn't! And if you did...I just won't date you!

No lecture because I didn't see it!

[Angler]

I don't have them and don't understand people who do they are usually single not by choice but by their own doing, because I know in the end deal breakers are superficial crap. Having some standards is one thing like dating a single mother that I can understand you not wanting to date a person like that but having a shopping list of unreal qualities you'd like in a partner is not realistic and counter productive.

 

There are millions of women who fit the bill for me, and millions more who do not.

 

I don't understand your position.

[mhowe]

No silly....not the word "non".....

 

IRREGARDLESS....is not a word.

 

The word is REGARDLESS.

[Angler]

Waiting for my lecture since I used it in the title of this post!

 

The (non) word is "irregardless" not "non".

[Moontiger]

I don't have them and don't understand people who do they are usually single not by choice but by their own doing, because I know in the end deal breakers are superficial crap. Having some standards is one thing like dating a single mother that I can understand you not wanting to date a person like that but having a shopping list of unreal qualities you'd like in a partner is not realistic and counter productive.

 

Right, because if I click with a guy who turns out to be a drug abusing, rage-machine, racist, I should just ignore my deal breaks and see what happens with him!

[itsallgrand]

 

Un-materialistic. This is a new(ish) one. People who are super attached to things and status... not for me. At all.

 

That is a non negotiable for me too. Has been for a long time though. I dated maybe one man, in my twenties, who I would consider materialistic. And that part of him never did sit right with me. It goes against my values, really, and so I tend to be automatically turned off by displays of valuing stuff/status very quickly.

[mhowe]

Kompact

 

I don't understand why it upsets you so that others have them!

How are Anglers deal breakers so upsetting to you?

I don't think he's having any problems getting dates...so relax!

[quirky]

I think some qualities mentioned here go without saying..abusive, liar, untrusting, not fun, who wants to date that?

 

So.. apart from the obvious my non negotiable are

 

not generous

not compatible sexually

not interested in personal development

never drinks

takes drugs even mild stuff

[mhowe]

Right, because if I click with a guy who turns out to be a drug abusing, rage-machine, racist, I should just ignore my deal breaks and see what happens with him!

If you do, send a postcard from jail!

[Moontiger]

If you do, send a postcard from jail!

 

How much internet access do people in low security prisons have?

[itsallgrand]

How much internet access do people in low security prisons have?

 

lol. Lots where I'm from! They can even get on Facebook. And get married in jail.

[mhowe]

How much internet access do people in low security prisons have?

 

Stick with your deal breakers and you need never find out!

[Angler]

That is a non negotiable for me too. Has been for a long time though. I dated maybe one man, in my twenties, who I would consider materialistic. And that part of him never did sit right with me. It goes against my values, really, and so I tend to be automatically turned off by displays of valuing stuff/status very quickly.

 

There's a distinction to be made here.

 

I prefer to have nice stuff, dress well, and eat good food. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I did my time as a broke university student with a summer job, junk car, futon, and an old TV.

 

The problems come when people define themselves, their self-worth, and their success entirely by how much nice stuff they have.

 

I know some girls living paycheck to paycheck with a Louis Vuitton collection.

[itsallgrand]

There's a distinction to be made here.

 

I prefer to have nice stuff, dress well, and eat good food. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I did my time as a broke university student with a summer job, junk car, futon, and an old TV.

 

The problems come when people define themselves, their self-worth, and their success entirely by how much nice stuff they have.

 

I know some girls living paycheck to paycheck with a Louis Vuitton collection.

 

I agree. It's not about the outside. Someone may be wealthy, or poor, or anywhere in between. They may have nice stuff, or crap stuff, or very little or lots of stuff.

 

It's more about a value system. What place material and status has in a person's heart. As corny as that may sound.

[mhowe]

Distinction noted.....and approved.

Futon folk need not apply.

[Angler]

Distinction noted.....and approved.

Futon folk need not apply.

 

I have nothing against futons!

[Angler]

I agree. It's not about the outside. Someone may be wealthy, or poor, or anywhere in between. They may have nice stuff, or crap stuff, or very little or lots of stuff.

 

It's more about a value system. What place material and status has in a person's heart. As corny as that may sound.

 

I'm with you 100%.

[pl3asehelp]

Attraction works in mysterious ways, I don't really care for deal breakers because if you meet the right person at the right time it won't matter about these standards you have you will break them for the right person. I've gone out with girls that I did not think it would ever work. But you know what it did work. I never thought I would find overweight girls attractive but when I was with one she honestly had more beauty inside/outside than the fittest girl I've been with.

Not mysterious for me. If someone does something on my list of dealbreakers, I wouldn't even be attracted to them.

[mhowe]

Kind of the.point of deal breaker, eh?

[Liraele]

I agree. It's not about the outside. Someone may be wealthy, or poor, or anywhere in between. They may have nice stuff, or crap stuff, or very little or lots of stuff.

 

It's more about a value system. What place material and status has in a person's heart. As corny as that may sound.

 

Yes. This is what I mean.

 

If you judge someone for their stuff, also. Such as, you are "better" than them because you drive a BMW while they drive a Pontiac.

[Live-N-Learn]

No you didn't! And if you did...I just won't date you!

No lecture because I didn't see it!

 

lol OK, that just shows how little I understand about grammar. I thought your were referring to (non-negotiable), but obviously the use and meaning of NON is something I am unfamiliar with. I guess that means I can keep my calendar open for our first date!

[mhowe]

It may have been confusing because I could not say:

the word "Irregardless"....because my point was...it is not a word!!!

 

Sadly...I am spoken for!

However...you would have qualified for consideration as you started a very pro active thread.