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What qualities in partner are non-negotiable for you and why?


Live-N-Learn

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Non-negotiable: brains (I've dated not so clever but nice men before and I got bored out of my mind)...manners (if someone is rude to people around him, he'll be rude to you, too)....sense of humour (I dated a very 'serious' guy once...the relationship was full of fights because he just wouldn't get my humour)...to be compatible in bed (I've tried to compromise in the past and it just wouldn't work).

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I would never be with someone if I wouldn t be able to "admire" him for the way he is and for the things he does and for the way he lives his life, if he wouldn t respect me, if he would make me feel unfomfortable, if he would be violent, even verbally, drugs, drinking or mental issues are also out of questions for me etc.

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I walked into the relationship with my bf KNOWING he was a liar. Not nasty --- just path of least resistance, avoid conflict.

I told him "I don't lie. You can count on that".

Him: I don't either.

Me: Laughing. You are lying right now. You do lie --- constantly. And I don't care because I know it isn't malicious. You can lie to everyone else.

You cannot lie to me. No matter what it is --- nothing is worse to me than lying. We will handle the truth....regardless.

Are we clear.

 

Him: Crystal.

 

And he does not. Ever.

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not funny

lazy... as in not motivated to get a job (including if its part-time) or take care of themselves

not smart

lying

cheat

negative personality

victim personality

 

experiences.. and i dont mind the little white lies. I never had an ex-bf who cheated or lied repeatedly to me, but I dated guys that fall in to all these categories.

 

One thing i have compromised and I think i'm better about it, is smoking. As long as they occasionally smoke cigerrettes or pot, I am ok with it. The last guy i was seeing didnt smell or taste like cigerrettes - with no cologne on, just regular guy smell that was niiice (which btw guys, is an underrated. keep your natural guy smell for us ladies!!)

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There are lots of things that should be considered "givens" for anyone...honest, trustworthy, emotionally stable, etc.

 

Above and beyond that, my required non-negotiables are:

 

Non-smoking

No kids (yet)

Educated

Employed

Financially independent

Fit

Vehicle & License

Non-religious

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Values - education (and that he had attained at least a college degree), health-related- no smoking/illegal drug use/excessive drinking, energetic, family-oriented and definitely wanted a family, ambitious, believed waiting to have sex was a positive way to develop a healthy relationship. Qualities -very bright, compatible senses of humor, high level of ethics and morality. I compromised a few times on the sexual values and regretted it. I did date men who hadn't attained a college degree(very few because I rarely met men who didn't at least have a college degree and wanted to date me) and regretted it for one reason or another (just a few dates each).

 

I think most of these values/qualities were always important to me. I don't think I articulated to myself even the importance of sense of humor until later on though but I always knew it was important instinctively.

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There are lots of things that should be considered "givens" for anyone...honest, trustworthy, emotionally stable, etc.

 

Above and beyond that, my required non-negotiables are:

 

Non-smoking

No kids (yet)

Educated

Employed

Financially independent

Fit

Vehicle & License

Non-religious

 

Vehicle AND license???? Do things off the road in the north???

What about teeth?

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Must not be a cheater (been there, and one of that t shirt was adequate for me)

Must respect my views, but be willing to defend his own

Must love animals

Must be intelligent and able to converse decently

 

Must have outgrown the party all night stage!

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Are you a stickler for good vs well.....As in "How are you" ----

 

I am well, thank you!

 

I judge people by their grammar and spelling. Apart from special circumstances like learning disabilities, or developmental issues, I think poor writing habits are a reliable indicator of laziness.

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I am well, thank you!

 

I judge people by their grammar and spelling. Apart from special circumstances like learning disabilities, or developmental issues, I think poor writing habits are a reliable indicator of laziness.

 

You have certainly culled out the dating pool for yourself!!!

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I am well, thank you!

 

I judge people by their grammar and spelling. Apart from special circumstances like learning disabilities, or developmental issues, I think poor writing habits are a reliable indicator of laziness.

 

Maybe I'm incorrect here but does a comma really belong before the "or" after "disabilities"?

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I am well, thank you!

 

I judge people by their grammar and spelling. Apart from special circumstances like learning disabilities, or developmental issues, I think poor writing habits are a reliable indicator of laziness.

 

You judge people by their grammar? Are you a English teacher by chance? That I could understand. But this forum isn't a university exam, and if you cull people to date based on for making a mistake in spelling your a little tight in the anal area

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You judge people by their grammar?

 

Yes.

 

Are you a English teacher by chance?

 

No.

 

That I could understand. But this forum isn't a university exam, and if you cull people to date based on for making a mistake in spelling your a little tight in the anal area

 

Why?

 

Is it not reasonable for non-English teachers to have standards?

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