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Guy keeps giving off mixed signals. Help?


alohalove18

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At work, there is this guy from another department that I really like. I'm 22 and he is 24. We both recently got out of long term relationships a few months ago. I know that he is the one who ended his relationship because his ex wanted to move in together and get married, and he knew that she wasn't the right girl for him, so he ended it.

 

I can't tell if he likes me because he has not asked for my phone number. However, I think that he is sending off signals that he likes me. First of all, he has told me that I'm pretty about 5 times within the past week. He is always complimenting my hair. Then today he said that I'm "definitely special in his eyes" whenever I was poking fun at myself for being weird. I catch him looking at me from the other department frequently, and every morning when I come into work, he makes SURE that he comes over to say good morning. Then today, I was on my break in the break room, and he walked in. He said he had been looking for all over the store because he wanted to tell me goodbye because he was leaving for the day. I thought that was so sweet... it doesn't seem like you would do that for someone you're not interested in, right? There's so many things that he does that makes me think he's interested..but he still hasn't asked for my phone number, which I think is very strange. He has been acting like this for a couple of months now. I would really love to get to know him, but I don't want to make a move (I'm very shy) especially if I'm reading into all of his signals the wrong way. He doesn't have ANYBODY from work on his facebook or instagram because he says he doesn't like the drama, so I can't even find him on facebook or IG because his name is very general, and we have no common friends. I think about him all the time and wish that he would talk to me outside of work. I have tried to show that I like him. I brought him a coffee the other morning because he teased me that I never bring any coffee for him. Whenever I surprised him with it, he looked totally shocked. Then he told me that he was going to bring me breakfast or a Starbucks, and I declined because I felt like he was only doing it because he felt obligated to. Then today, he asked me what I was drinking from Starbucks, then he wrote it down.

 

Any opinions of why he has not asked me for my phone number yet are very much appreciated. Please be completely honest. Am I reading too much into his words/actions?

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It sounds like he is moving at his own pace, and he is happy with that speed. Obviously he is interested but has choosen not to take things to the next level because he either isn't ready or just doesn't want drama. It sounds like you are a little more interested in getting a relationship started with him so why don't you just ask him to hangout outside of work and see what happens.

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Yes he's probably not interested in a relationship at this stage even though he likes you. I think it'd spoil things if you did anything to try to get him to start dating you. He's had a relationship and he's broken it off, so he's assertive enough to ask you out if that's what he wants. Don't get over emotionally invested in him. Girls in this situation often seem to get ahead of themselves and start thinking ....relationship, marriage, kids.

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I think that although he likes you, he is reluctant to do anything about it because you work together, and most people have a rule against dating co-workers. You said yourself he doesn't have anybody from work on his social media because he doesn't like drama, and if you two were to date and things got sour, that's exactly what he would have.

Also I have learned that it's a good thing not to assume anything about a man's interest until and unless he asks for the number and a date.

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Also I have learned that it's a good thing not to assume anything about a man's interest until and unless he asks for the number and a date.

 

Today he just found out he is going to have to transfer stores. I'm really bummed about it. Me and him were talking about it and he said "I bet you're happy I'm leaving." And I said "What?! Of course not. I'm not ever gonna get to talk to you..." Then he came over and wrote his number down on a piece of paper and handed it to me. Now I'm not sure if he is wanting me to text him or not. I hate that I am the one who is going to have to text first. Is there a certain time I should wait to text him? I don't want to seem too overeager. I'm totally clueless on what to do since I haven't had to start over in a relationship in 4 years...

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I think he is definitely interested in you but I am not sure he is interested in starting a relationship with you.

If I were you I would not invest any emotions into him for the time being. He needs to take some time off to mend his emotions from the previous relationship before he should jump into a relationship, whether it be with you or someone else. Just be his friend for now. If he wants to ask you out on a date, he knows where to find you. If he wants a relationship with you, he knows how to start one. Text him once so that he has your number but let him do the rest.

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Well it's a good thing he transferred stores, now you won't be working so closely together so you can date without too many repercussions! Wait a couple of days then text him asking about the new store, this way he'll also have your number and then it's up to him to ask you out or not.

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