He kicked me out, we tried to fixing the relationship, and now breaking up again

[Batya33]

"Everyone at my age by now is settled, mature, have families, houses, doing positive things with their family and kids."

 

Obviously not everyone at age 31 (certainly wasn't me). I think you're asking the right questions and I know getting the answers will be tough but other than the "I'm a failure" and beating yourself up, looking at relationship patterns would be a good start. I think you are already seeing a therapist, right?

[jenbrooks]

Yes, still seeing my therapist.

[Ms Darcy]

I am now 31 years old, broken heart, broken relationship, broken everything. I will never be able to get married, I will never be able to find someone that loves me and wants to work with me when there are problems.

 

This one was more committed, closer to engagement, but I messed up because of my anger problem, and he also messed up because he's afraid of his family. But after some poor treatment, I still let him hurt me, and even after I told him to go away, I still have hopes. Why WHY WHY WHY???...

 

Unfortunately, the longer you spend hoping for things to change with this guy, the longer it will take you to get married. It's pretty clear marriage ain't happening with him. Reality shows us this given all of the water under the bridge.

 

You can't put a timeline on love and marriage, but there is a great study that says the single factor that keeps women from marrying in their childrearing years? Staying for too long with (or chasing for too long or pining for too long) men who are not going to marry them. Just food for thought.

[Lonewing]

Hey now, I'm 32 and no where closer to it myself!

 

Learning to let go of the wrong ones will make you more available to the right one, so don't despair so much.

 

You are an invaluable human being - and someone will be very lucky to have you. Just not this one.

 

The frustration will take some time to dissipate, so do take care of yourself.