Should I continue the friendship?

[Furbys]

Hello everyone, hope 2014 is treating you well. Something has been bothering me for a while about a friend of mine and I would like to have some advice/opinions from yourselves. I am thinking that I should stop the friendship.

 

The history: So me and this friend met in college and have known eachother for years. We were good friends and then everyone left college to go to university/full time work etc. Me and the friend did not contact eachother for about two years. There isn't really a particular reason for this. So two years later I notice her make a status on Facebook that suggested she was very upset so I messaged her and we spoke for ages and became friends again.

 

We met up a lot and it was really good because i had a decent friend. But for over a year now I have tried to arrange for us to meet up and hang out and she always lets me down. I would tell her when I was free and she said she would check her hours (as she was part time so it could change) and she would never get back to me. This has happened about 5 times now, the last time being a couple of weeks ago. At one point she ignored me for a few months and her reason for this was she is just like that sometimes. She wanted us to go on holiday together so i was really excited as I have not been on holiday for many years. I looked into different options and travel companies and asked her is she still up for it and she replied that she was. She then told me many weeks later that she does not have the money for it anymore so I was disappointed but thought that it doesnt matter as holidays are luxuries anyway (by the way this was before her being engaged so she did not have a wedding to pay for).

 

She also asked me to be a maid of honour at her wedding, which i accepted but nothing has happened since. She is getting married in a few weeks and i havent been invited, no dress etc so i actually am starting to think I am not invited anymore. At one point I did ask if i was still maid of honour and she said i was. To be honest I would rather not go due to this situation and i believe the marriage is a joke (she forced him to propose to her by a certain date or she would leave and by this point they were together for months, she has cheated on him, he has done the same etc)

 

It bugs me when she does not make any effort then all over Facebook are pictures of her with other friends having a great time. She can bother with them but not me. I am always the one initiating contact, she never bothers. What do you suggest? Should I just stop trying to make an effort with her as I am getting nothing back? I have been hesitant to stop the friendship because if me and her are not friends then i would only have one decent friend left.

[Cheetarah]

I really can't fathom how you are still MOH and no dress, no invi, nothing weeks short of the wedding. You're not invited anymore. And it's wretched.

 

I also think she has been fading you out for the last year.

 

Should I just stop trying to make an effort with her as I am getting nothing back? I have been hesitant to stop the friendship because if me and her are not friends then i would only have one decent friend left.

 

Furbs, as it stands you only do have one decent friend right now. This ship has sailed and been sailing. It's better to feel alone while actually BEING alone, than being surrounded by others and still feeling the same way.

[agent1607307371]

I am always the one initiating contact, she never bothers.

 

That should tell you everything you need to know.

 

Let her go.

[Furbys]

I really can't fathom how you are still MOH and no dress, no invi, nothing weeks short of the wedding. You're not invited anymore. And it's wretched.

 

I also think she has been fading you out for the last year.

 

 

 

Furbs, as it stands you only do have one decent friend right now. This ship has sailed and been sailing. It's better to feel alone while actually BEING alone, than being surrounded by others and still feeling the same way.

 

The reason that i thought there was still a chance i was MOH is because her mother has been talking to me about it as recently as the other day. But I will just accept that I am not and if somehow I am then i wouldnt go anyway. I think i deserve better than this.

 

The whole thing just bugs me because I have been there for when her relationship has been going badly, when there was a death in her family etc. Shes just taking advantage isnt she?

[john45]

It sound like the two of you have quite different values around the friendship at the moment.

 

You've been let down by her a few times now, and had your feelings hurt. If her behaviour towards you isn't going to change, then perhaps it would be better to lose this friend - maybe the time of this friendship has passed

 

I'm echoing Cheetarah here - but I tell myself its better to be honestly a bit lonely on your own, than stuck in a friendship/relationship and feel alone.

 

Best wishes