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About john45

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    Bronze Member
  • Birthday 02/07/1968
  1. I guess the only red flag for me is a photo or set of photos that are clearly many years old. My main red flag isn't the photo, but whether someone can string a sentence or few that are interesting in their profile.
  2. the way you wrote, it sounds like you'd regret not telling him. I'd suggest telling him - if he loves all of you, that includes things from your past, and that even if he might not totally accept the idea of abortions he can still fully accept you and the decisions you made. I'd hope he would respect you and the fact that you tried to do the best things overall at the time. No-one is Mary-Poppins-perfect all the time! Good luck!
  3. Just go with your gut feel and do what you think is ok. You tried a dating app/site and it didn't feel right. You can always come off there and try again later. I think some folks have to replace one relationship with another, without perhaps giving themselves time alone (which must feel damn scary). Sometime/someday there will be someone out there who excites you. Don't give up on that thought, and don't settle for second-best in the meantime ;-) Good luck!
  4. Personally, I'm slightly shocked at the behaviour of both J and E. My gut feel is to break off all contact with J. Whether you retain a friendship with E after what happened... I think it would be nice if you could, based on the length of time you've known each other, and the fact that she was one of your closest friends. If I was in your position, I'd imagine I'd have E on serious probation for a little while because of what she's done/said around this guy and for hiding dating from you. I'd love to give a scientific/rational answer, but I'm going with gut feel. Good luck! xx
  5. It feels like a break up. Even if it isn't, your sentence about having no friends struck me. You can't rely on just one person to be your boyfriend, partner and all the friends you'll ever need in one person. That's a lot of pressure to put on both yourself and your boyfriend. my 2 cents is to suggest you try to develop or start some interests that will help you make some new friends, so you have a few other people in your life aside from a boyfriend (whether it is this guy or someone different). Good luck and take care!
  6. It sounds like a hard situation to be in. It sounds like you've already probably made some sort of decision, so time to move on with whatever you feel are the most positive steps for yourself and for your daughter.
  7. I don't think that's a possible option - my partner is looking for more commitment from me, and I don't think I can do that right now. Her son could move out in a couple of months time and fly the nest, or be a fixture for the next xx years. His father has dropped all contact with him, so Mum is his only accomodation and support option. I actually like him, but don't want to get dragged too far into his situations and supporting him. giving your kids/strepkids help - goes with the territory. I think this is just feeling a bit too much and never-ending (or not-likely to end). Thanks.
  8. It sounds like you may have a gap between the two of you - but it doesn't sound specifically like an age gap to me. If you're worried about him wanting to see other people, or do different things to you... its down for the two of you to talk, because it's your relationship, not for talking about to your mother or on here. It might be more your worries than stuff he actually wants to do. Or it might not be, in which case at least you get the chance to know for sure rather than just worry about it. Of course, other people and other perspectives might help, but it does all come down to the
  9. If its the right thing to do, then it would be ok. I know I'd miss talking to someone I'm used to being close to - I think that's the main scary thing.
  10. My partner and I have been talking over the last couple of days about whether we can get back living together or not. I don't really see it working out, adding up both our kids situations as they are now, our views of them and the shadows from the past we still have. A couple of years after separating from my then-wife, we started a long-term relationship (10 years), lived together for 7 of those, and split up almost 3 years ago, mainly because of disagreements around our kids (we had 2 children each, and ended up all living together) After a 4-5 month break, we kind of started seeing e
  11. my ex and I took the decision to separate several months ago, though we only started living apart in early july. I'd love to contact her and ask her if we could start a relationship again. Its a huge hole in my life not being involved with her, and I struggle thinking I'll never be able to ever have that sort of relationship again.
  12. Best date - really great time with my ex, wandering around london. It was just special because we were both feeling good, the weather was warm, everything about it just felt "special" worst - about 10 years ago, after I'd been divorced a while, I was encourage do get "out there". chatted and met up with a girl from an online dating site. Halfway through the date, she asked me if she could do my myers-briggs score to see if we were compatible. I decided to answer the questions and see what happened..... then she pulled out a folder from her handbag with the scores she'd worked out for al
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