Are absent minded guys attractive?

[diamondhead]

I sometimes asks stupid questions and then realize that maybe it is too easy and I should have known the answer. I forget about things and don't keep track of certain things.

 

But my academic records aren't bad and I certainly have been somewhat successful in my professional life.

 

So is it possible for you to be attracted to a guy like this?

[quirky]

Me personally no, I find it frustrating, particularly because my last ex was like that and I felt I was talking to a ghost sometimes. But I think a quieter girl, someone more organised may find this attractive, someone who compliments that skill you sometimes lack of being 'switched on'.

[mhowe]

No...one of the most attractive things about a man can be his interest in your life...which includes remembering not just the big things...birthdays, anniversaries... but the little things: your favorite soda, your favorite movie... something you told him last week.

[Ms Darcy]

"Absent minded" just sounds like excused self-ishness and disorganization. Sounds like the guy who you can't rely on but will always need to rely on you. "Absent minded" people who are on target profesionally are not absent minded to me. They are lazy, and they are selective about the things they DO keep track of and follow-through on.

 

Kinda childish in my opinion.

[and so it goes]

I used to be with someone like that - constantly losing her keys, phone, purse, gloves, hat, umbrella, glasses, wallet, cat - anything really. She would get lost instantly, couldn't read a map, couldn't remember a name or a number or a password, never carried anything useful in her purse - EVER, couldn't park, couldn't barely drive even. She would just smile sweetly, dazzle and charm everyone and leave a devastating trail of carnage in her wake.

 

We lasted almost two years. Two wonderful and yet horrible years.

 

Never would I willing go into that maelstrom of chaos and beauty ever again. I'd rather be single and lonely.

 

Does that answer your question?

[and so it goes]

I sometimes asks stupid questions and then realize that maybe it is too easy and I should have known the answer. I forget about things and don't keep track of certain things.

 

But my academic records aren't bad and I certainly have been somewhat successful in my professional life.

 

So is it possible for you to be attracted to a guy like this?

 

Some girls like fixer uppers

[faraday]

I have a few friends like this.....and I am like this. I make jokes about how I'm a "goldfish" and forget things after 3 seconds...and most people kind of get it. But because I know this about myself, I put EVERYTHING into my phone. Birthdays...the dates my friends are going on trips- with reminders when they get home so I can text them and ask....phone numbers, addresses...everything. Even when to change my furnace filter. And when to get my booster vaccinations next year,..but really...I struggle with remembering everything. It's not being self absorbed....it's having too much to remember...I feel like my brain is full sometimes lol.

 

I've lost a few friends...because I forgot their birthdays and they don't have them posted on fb (or a fake birthday) because...a REAL friend would know. HA! Good riddance.

 

I struggle with new people in my life...but a bf I've been dating for a while? I remember a lot of things...but I know I used to frustrate my ex ( "we talked about that last week..."...."oh.") but it wasn't the reason we broke up.

 

The right person won't mind. It only takes one.

[catfeeder]

No. Forgetting my birthday or some other annual abstraction is no big deal. Repeating a story you may have told me already--no big deal. Forgetting something I may have told you--no big deal.

 

Constantly forgetting things we've discussed because you weren't really paying attention?

 

Hurtful dealbreaker.

 

I'm not particularly sensitive, but a lack of participation is just sloppy and dismissive--and intolerable.

[catfeeder]

I applaud you for this, Faraday. You may believe that this is compensating, but it's far better than that--it's making a real effort because you care.

 

We all suffer brain jumble under stress. Your actions highlight the difference between 'not retaining' versus 'not caring'. Most of us need to rely on some method or another--and yours is an art form.

 

Cheers to you!

[Thorshammer]

Usually, women want a guy who is in control of himself and has his *** together. Many men will find a women doing that as cute, and might activate their masculinity to help her - but a woman might feel like you are activating her motherly instincts- and she doesnt want to feel like shes taking care of a kid (depends on how bad you have it).

 

But, i wouldnt rely on black and white. Girls have laughed when i made mistakes, especially since i like to think i have everything in control and i sit there looking vulnerable and lost (or at least thats how i feel). Focus on your positive attributes, small flaws are forgiven, especially when you have strong attributes that over-rule them. I personally dont think its a big deal that it can hinder your dating life when compared to other bigger more serious flaws.

[happpybear]

if it is all the time, then no, personally that would be a huge turn-off, just comes off as flakiness or air-headedness.

[diamondhead]

The thing is..I know I am more intelligent than I present myself to be. I know I am able to score good grades, do my work competently. But something practical..Now I am not so sure I can do that perfectly. When people talk directly to me, I panic. That is why I can't remember everything they say. Because I am suddenly under a lot of pressure. Especially when there is a group of people talking to me.

 

So my question was due to the fact that obviously talking to a girl is going to be even more nerve wracking. And I won't be able to do things perfectly. For example, as the other person mentioned, I keep all study related details on my phone so I don't forget about the important assignments.

 

Would women be more forgiving if I do some stupid things but I am willing to learn?

[Ms Darcy]

I don't think this is a matter of women being forgiving. You are talking about some major social anxiety issues that you should actively be working on instead of wanting women to lower their standards. Have you spoken to a therapist?

[catfeeder]

[...]

Would women be more forgiving if I do some stupid things but I am willing to learn?

 

Yes. I can only speak for myself, but this sounds far different from attempting to excuse disinterest or self centeredness by claiming to be an airhead.

 

Nobody's looking for perfection, we just want to know that if we're invested in you and doing our best, so are you.

 

Trying is everything.