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Was anyone else like this growing up?


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I used to change my personality around a lot when I was in elementary school ~ if my friend's favorite color was yellow, I'd make that my favorite color. If my friends favorite store was Claire's, I'd make that my favorite store. (You get the picture.)

 

But I'd also mimic the different personalities of my favorite characters in movies & TV shows. Mainly because it was easier to pretend I was somebody else than to deal with my own issues; depression, stuttering, anxiety, etc. It was kind of like I was playing a game of ping-pong---I'd change my personality around from one to the other, then for awhile I lost the ball.

 

My first counselor said that doing this is actually quite common in adolescence. But is it really? When I told another counselor about this, she actually seemed really concerned, like doing so was not a normal or good thing at all.

 

"I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be, and finally, I became that person. Or he became me." *~Cary Grant~*

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Not sure how normal that is? Could be a bit of concern there, I say.

I had my issues too- same as you but never turned into someone else. Could be similar to wanting to copy someone, something as a type of escape- or fantasy- so you could 'avoid' your real issues?

 

Do you do it now too? Because when we grow up they do like us to work on our issues.. self esteem etc.

I suggest to keep with counselling.. doesnt hurt

Work on accepting YOU as you and getting more comfortable being you.

 

tc

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I don't think it's weird to do during adolescence. Kids generally want to be accepted. They are not like our older selves who don't give a much of a flying hoot what anyone thinks anymore.

 

As far as the second part goes, about mimicking your TV characters - I don't think it's abnormal for children to do as a form of escapism. Coping mechanisms aren't defined like an adult's.

 

Now if you are still doing these things are a grown woman, I would understand the concern. If you have a problem with people pleasing/wanting to feel accepted to the point where you've got multiple facades on hand or you do things that go against your own values and codes, then it is interfering with your life and prohibiting your sense of self to be developed more thoroughly and nurtured.

 

Of course, I don't know what you've told your therapists and most things are part of a bigger picture.

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So it sounds like you cld be suffering with low self esteem?

Why dont you work on that with your therpist? I've got the same.. don't give myself much credit or value b'cause of my past.. but I am 'accepting' with who I am.

 

Takes time.. keep working on YOU.. k

You're human.. like the rest of us. No one's perfect. Learn to accept & like yourself. I'm sure you have MANY good values!

 

tc

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So it sounds like you cld be suffering with low self esteem?

Why dont you work on that with your therpist? I've got the same.. don't give myself much credit or value b'cause of my past.. but I am 'accepting' with who I am.

 

Takes time.. keep working on YOU.. k

You're human.. like the rest of us. No one's perfect. Learn to accept & like yourself. I'm sure you have MANY good values!

 

tc

I've def struggled with self-esteem issues in the past. I'd say now it's more subconscious.

 

And yes, I do see a counselor named Heidi. Thing is, since she doesn't take my new health insurance, I have to pay a whopping $50 a session now whenever I see her. (I have a second counselor named Joyce who is also a hypnotherapist; I see her for free. As you've probably guessed, I prefer Heidi.) When Joyce hypnotizes me she records it on my iPhone so I can do it myself at home. I'm def getting better, although it is a process.

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I did that and i have no depression or do i want to be anyone else. I mimicked sayings, gestures, clothes of people i idolized. I remember watching the professional, and i copied the way natalie Portman said no and yes -and blinked hard when someone talked to her (i had a crush on her as a kid)- i still do that to this day and its embedded in me now.

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