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Are low-count men impossible to find?

yeawutever

By yeawutever
in Sex and Romance

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yeawutever Grand Master

yeawutever

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Strange, I always was very cautious of accidental sex, never had it. Actually had only two women in my life, guess I am a bit traditional, and also raised in Catholic family, that kinda affected me.

 

The worst thing about having sex with many women is that you feel guilt if they want something from you afterwards and you do not. Even though that was a decent girl and I felt bad about that.

See what I mean. I see many of you guys online here but not in real life. Well I believe there was one like that in real life and he was decent but unfortunately he was already engaged (last thing I heard, he got divorced and is into another long-term relationship). That seems to always happened to me. If I find him, he's not single and all I got left is the ones with wild pasts.
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Dcgent Newbie

Dcgent

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Of all the components to a person and relationship, the # of previous partners is such a petty matter to worry about. Find a perfect person is already a challenge. If someone met all your needs, but had a "#" you did not agree with...it would be pretty ridiculous to cut off the relationship because of that. Their past is their past and made the person you fell in love with.

 

While I have always known the # of my previous serious relationships, it was not a determining factor, rather a point of curiosity. Just so happens I am involved with an AMAZING woman right now that has the same # as me. ;-) At any rate, I think you need to mature a little and not worry. As you get older, you are most likely only going to find a man with higher numbers. So put this worry to rest and appreciate someone for who they are...

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johndoe13 Contributor

johndoe13

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I'm the same i'm almost 40 and my count is a total 9 including current girlfriend. 1 relationship lasted over a decade, 1 now of 1.5 years and the rest were one timers (6 paid when I was single; and I did NOT really enjoy it and I stopped; I always felt bad for paying) which I felt bad about. Funny I paid because to me it is very difficult to do it which someone without feelings getting in the way and trust me I am very sexual.My current girlfriend is over 15+ and it has been difficult getting my mind at rest since she does not believe sex=love. I understand your point but trust me most men have not slept with abundant amount of women. Most people consider my number extremely low.... Women can easily sleep with anyone...

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Blue Spiral Collaborator

Blue Spiral

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All I'm asking for is a serious man that never treated sex as a ''whatever thing'' to give it away to random women. Like Blue Spiral states it on the option 1; a man who has always been serious and only into long term relationships.

 

I'm afraid that men like that are a rare breed. There's a saying, "Someone is only as faithful as their options"--I'd expand that to "Someone is only as ethical as their options." The vast majority of men go through a wild period, and unless they're truly unlucky with women, they're going to rack up some "casual numbers" during that time. I think you're going to find ten "involuntarily" low-count guys for every "voluntary" guy.

 

If you take luck/skill with women out of the equation, the ones I've known have been either extremely religious or extremely controlling. They got married right away, and it either worked out and they're still with their high school/college sweetheart, or it didn't work out, and they immediately start looking for Wife #2. So, if you do manage to find a man like that, he's probably going to already have kids.

 

But all of this hinges on the guy being honest about his number, which may or may not happen.

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jonny15 Enthusiast

jonny15

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If the guy has a very low number, it's most likely due to him either saving it for religious reason, been in a longer term relashionship, and or a few of them, or the most likely option, he has no luck with women and can't get laid.

 

If your looking for a guy to look at sex as something sacred,, then just go to church and you will find one.

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yeawutever Grand Master

yeawutever

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Interesting discussion

 

I've been with 13 different women including the person I'm currently with and I'm 28, just wondering if most women would consider this a "high number"?

It depends on the woman. If her number doesn't even reach 10 and she only had long-term relationships, then she will think it's high but if her number is within that range or higher she will probably think it's low or average.
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yeawutever Grand Master

yeawutever

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I don't really understand why the number matters.

 

I've dated virgins and I've dated guys in the double digits. It had no effect on our relationship.

I feel that it would go against my sexual views and morals. I would be uncomfortable with this incompatibility and that tends to be a deal-breaker for some people just as there are other deal-breakers that others can't handle. Sometimes ''who they slept with is in the past'' might not be good enough for certain people that want someone of similar values when it comes to being selective in partners. I just don't understand casual sex nor ONS.

 

I feel strongly about this.

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jonny15 Enthusiast

jonny15

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The problem is, if you go for guys that don't have much sexual experience, it doesn't mean they hold the same views as you on sex. It could simply mean that they have trouble getting laid.

 

I myself have trouble getting sex, but I don't view sex as some sacred thing. Or that it's something special. I just haven't had luck in getting any.

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