BayAreaBabe86 Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 OMG.. talk about a dry period! I havent had a boyfriend in 3 years, and not to sound desperate but I really want one.. I have had a number guys like me, but I have always said no when they asked me out. Now I really like this new guy I was convinced he liked me as well, but I found out he had a girlfriend! I'm convinced im cursed! how do I go about getting a boyfriend! Link to comment
zab Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 if you live in england holla at me lol, na you probably just been concentrating so much on other things that you have just left this and when you do that it seems as though you are in a dry period, just start looking more now, be a promiscious predator n get out there hun!! Zab Link to comment
Yorkrose23 Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 There is nothing wrong with you, you are not cursed. People can go years without having a significant other.(I'm seeing someone right now-I'm his first Gf in six years!) It does not mean that you are "not good enough" in any way. My question for you is why do you want a boyfriend so badly? It sounds to me like you're measuring your own self worth based on your romantic attachments. There is no right way to get a bf. It shouldn't be something you have to work at. Don't try so hard. And don't be so hard on yourself. Figure out what it is about having a relationship that is so important to you. Right now it sounds like you need a friend more than a lover. Meet some new people and have fun. Don't try to force yourself into a relationship. Good luck. Link to comment
Strictly4MyGrind Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Youll find one jus that if you come as too desperate it might but them off.... Take it slow someone prolly does like you youll find him tho.... If you take a intrest in a boy hell prolly like you dont get put off buy the little incidents when you get turned down.... Jus wait youll get some1 Link to comment
ShySoul Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 It's natural to want someone special in your life and be discouraged when you can't find one. But relationships shouldn't be something you force or try to get out of desperation. The best relationships happen when you least expect them, when you aren't looking for anything special and it comes out nowhere and turms your world upside down. Your only 18, there will be plenty of relationships in the future. Right now you should be focusing on yourself. Your at the point in life where there will be alot of changes and things to consider (college, work, choosing a career path). Focus on where you want your life to be headed and let love find you. Link to comment
Starkitty Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Same here BayAreaBabe86! Thank god I'm not the only one!! lol. I know theres been guys interested in me and some are now. I was feeling too depressed to want a bf before and now I just feel lonely. It's gonna be so weird for me to start dating again. I've had bad expierences in the past so I'm not going to rush into a relashionship. Don't look for love it will find you! Link to comment
Fretless Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 OMG.. talk about a dry period! I havent had a boyfriend in 3 years, and not to sound desperate but I really want one.. I have had a number guys like me, but I have always said no when they asked me out. Now I really like this new guy I was convinced he liked me as well, but I found out he had a girlfriend! I'm convinced im cursed! how do I go about getting a boyfriend! Umm...the next time a guy asks you out, how about saying something other than "no"? Link to comment
lillady898 Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Before my current boyfriend, I hadn't had a boyfriend for a couple years. I really enjoyed the single life. I don't think there's anything at all wrong with being single. In fact, I somewhat wish I was single right now. (Maybe that's only because I'm upset with my boyfriend... The drama never ends Link to comment
JonnyG Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 "I have had a number guys like me, but I have always said no when they asked me out" lol just like some guy was talking about the other day when he couldnt get a gf. He was talking about his flatmate (and its so true ive seen it before as well and u prove it as well) "When my flatmate Karen said she couldn't get a bf, she means that 2 guys flung themselves at her that day but she didnt fancy either. Then she looks at the ceiling and sighs like shes been hard done by" U girls don't know just how lucky u are. Try 3 years with no1 asking u out, because those guys u turned away have probably never been ask out. Your 18 and have been asked out quite a few times by the sounds of it. Many lads here on this forum are over 20 some pushing 30 and have NEVER been asked out or even had a girl allow them a chance of a date Next time a guy asks u out, say "YES!" Link to comment
wlfpack81 Posted December 4, 2004 Share Posted December 4, 2004 Ha be thankful you've only been dateless for 3yrs. Try 23yrs and to top it off i haven't had women fling themselves at me. Now maybe you won't fret too much when you see people have it 10x worse than you ever will. Link to comment
BayAreaBabe86 Posted December 4, 2004 Author Share Posted December 4, 2004 Yeah.. thats why I have said no in the past because I have such low self esteem and I cant get myself to believe that they may really actually like me! Its so hard sometimes... Link to comment
JonnyG Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Well thats just plain stupid. When they even ask u out and u like them and u still say "no". Instead of just having low self esteem yourselves your now sharing it with the guys who all walk off going "Why do i bother trying with all these girls, all they do is say "no"" To think that same guy may have spent days/weeks/months to get the bottle up to ask u and u can't manage 1 simple word *sigh* U really have no one to blame but yourselves "Its so hard sometimes..." U want it hard in this dating game, u should try being the man. Imagine a world where YOU actually have to ask a guy out (shock horror) Now stop being a tool, get your backside out there and say "YES!!!" to a guy Link to comment
wlfpack81 Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Now stop being a tool, get your backside out there and say "YES!!!" to a guy Of course you have to realize they're not going to say YES to just any guy. Physical attraction does matter as there has to be something there. Of course the problem here is these girls would say no to guys they liked so in this case yea go ahead and say "YES" LOL Link to comment
Caldus Posted December 11, 2004 Share Posted December 11, 2004 Hang in there. Don't get too stressed about it or things will get even worse. There are plenty of people in your situation (a lot of people in this thread have mentioned their situations). I also have never had a girlfriend either but it's not something I'm worrying too much about anymore. Link to comment
Pyralis Posted December 11, 2004 Share Posted December 11, 2004 Yeah, that's true. Try not to think about it. It'll happen when it happens. You can't make it happen. I also think that it depends on luck too. Unfortunately some people are way luckier than others. It's not a fair world we live in, that's for sure. Link to comment
corvidae Posted December 12, 2004 Share Posted December 12, 2004 Why oh why oh why do women behave so stupidly? You're supposed to be empathic right? Well how do you think it feels for a guy to approach you and be rejected? Do you have any idea, any notion at all how hard it is to gear up and ask someone out? And you think guys do it for..what? A joke? "Hey I know I'll ask that girl out, even though I'm not interested because she's actually really ugly, then when she's says 'yes' I'll laugh and walk off." What?!?! Do you think men think this way? The people you turned down would have had their self-esteem dented in a way you can't understand. I think you need to realise that a lot of men do not, I repeat do NOT, ask girls out on a whim. There's a lot of thought gone into it and a lot of fear has been overcome. When women realise this they might, God willing, get over this bizarre notion that men ask them out and 'don't really mean it'. I'm SORRY. I being harsh. But I need to be!! You DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM. Try being 25 and never ever ever had a girl show even the remotest interest in you. See how your self-esteem feels then! Honestly. The next time one of your many admirers plucks up the courage to ask you out, try to appreciate what he's gone through and, unless you have a good reason not to, say yes. Women!! You shoot yourselves in the foot then complain it hurts! Link to comment
Tigris Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 My friends and I have found that when you are looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend you can never find one but when you stop looking they come at you from all directions. The only advice I can give you is go out to places where you can meet new people and have fun. If someone starts chatting you up then it's a bonus! Good luck Link to comment
darkblue Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 I agree with corvidae. As for the OP - be happy, single. You will not attract the right man if you are desperate for one. Link to comment
here2understand2 Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 well I'd say start saying 'yes' and wearing that friendly smile and attitude if you really want a guy to come up and talk to you..coz the pressures of asking someone out are enough to scare most guys..and its only compounded if the girl is not very receptive..so all you've to do is to go to a place where guys would outnumber girls like sporting events or gym or somthing and wear that new friendly 'you can ask me out' attitude..Sporting events are usually a nice place coz you immediately know who's single and who's not(quite right more often than not!)..so good luck and keep lookin! In the meanwhile, keep content and keep growing so that you'd interest a guy more when you finally do go out..know what I mean? Link to comment
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